Find Friends That You Can Build Dreams With
And then tell them you love them, repeatedly
I love you, man.
Not only is this one of the greatest romantic comedies of all time, but it’s also what I said to Vincent Van Patten as he boarded his flight today to Lisbon, Portugal.
It’s always bittersweet when a close friend moves away, but there’s solace in knowing that goodbyes between true friends are simply a see you soon.
For Vinny and I, I know that this is just the beginning. Our epic journey together began on a dark and stormy night years ago at college. But our friendship leveled up in June of 2020 when we both quit our corporate jobs during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.
After just 25 years of living, we had already had enough of the rat race and needed something else. We craved adventure. We wanted to make a difference in the world. We wanted to wake up every single day, excited to get out of bed.
And most of all, we were sick and tired of going through the motions of the life that was expected of us, not the life we knew we were capable of.
The call to adventure
Over the past two years, we have each climbed our own mountains. Vinny wrote a damn good book called Arrows of Youth which proved to the world (and I think himself) that he was born to be a writer. He got his masters in creative writing and started planning his grand adventure to journey halfway across the world.
I co-founded The Enjoyable Pain of Growth Academy, a nonprofit that brings professional leadership coaching to underserved youth. I became a certified life and leadership coach and started helping other people realize their potential.
Together, we started The Dare to Dream Podcast, to document our adventures and inspire listeners to take the first step toward achieving their own dreams.
We made a lot of mistakes, failed publicly, and questioned everything. Joseph Campbell never mentioned that crying was an essential part of the Hero’s Journey — but we found that out on our own.
I share all of this to say just one thing:
Find friends that you can build dreams with.
Vinny and I went from college buddies to lifelong soulmates when we decided to co-create a dream and give it everything we’ve got.
He moved halfway across the world today, but I know that this is just the beginning of our next chapter.
It started with hugging
I don’t remember why or when it started happening, but we started giving each other hugs whenever we’d see each other.
Not the typical “bro-hug”, but a full-on, full-frontal hug.
It wasn’t long until we started telling each other, quite regularly, how much we loved each other. For two straight men, it can sometimes feel awkward to say I love you. But once we got past that hurdle, something special happened.
We went from best friends to brothers.
And as I said see you soon to my brother today, it made me so damn grateful to have him in my life. I’ve never met someone who loves living as much as Vinny, and the man has the biggest heart in the world.
I wrote this to express my deep love, admiration, and respect for Vinny. I hope it also inspires you to go find your tribe of people that you’d do anything for.
Once you find them, figure out what makes each of you come alive and create something magical together. Whether it’s a podcast, a book club, or a rock band, finding people you can dare to dream with is what makes life worth living.
If lived fully, this life is anything but stable. There will be immense highs and terrible lows. Having people to help put you back together when you crumble is a major key.
Find friends that you can build dreams with, and when you do, tell them how much you love them.
Repeatedly.
Follow Vincent Van Patten’s epic journey across the world by subscribing to his newsletter here. It’s going to be a wild ride and trust me, you don’t want to miss it!