Summary

The author of the article has an epiphany about the Backwards Law while listening to Mark Manson's audiobook, realizing that embracing negative experiences is key to achieving a positive life.

Abstract

The article narrates the author's journey of self-discovery while trying to build an online business. Despite initial frustration and the desire for quick success, the author learns through Mark Manson's concept of the Backwards Law that accepting negative experiences is crucial to personal growth and success. The author reflects on past mistakes, such as seeking shortcuts and comparing themselves to others, and emphasizes the importance of enjoying the process and the challenges faced along the way. The article concludes with the lesson that the life one desires is attainable by enduring and embracing the necessary hardships, and that visualizing both the results and the process is essential for progress.

Opinions

The author believes that the pursuit of happiness without acknowledging the necessary efforts can lead to a negative experience.
They suggest that true clarity and understanding come from accepting and learning from negative experiences.
The article conveys the opinion that quick fixes and easy choices lead to a difficult life, while making hard choices can lead to an easier life.
The author emphasizes that enjoying the journey, including the pain and challenges, is more important than focusing solely on the destination.
They also express that success stories often omit the struggles and the time invested, which can be misleading for those seeking similar achievements.
The author advocates for finding joy in the pain of personal growth and the process of achieving one's goals.

Finally, I understand the Backwards Law

A Tiny Life Moment on Clarity

The Moment

I’m sitting behind my laptop at work, listening to an audio book by Author Mark Manson titled “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck”.

This is my third read in a year and I learn something new every time and get an “Aha” moment.

Well, Today feels different because I am tensed, looking at the efforts I have put into building a successful online business and yet to see results.

Then the part about the backwards law comes on and in Mark Manson’s book that goes something like this

“The desire for a more positive experience is in itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”

Confusing right?

I know. Well, let me show you how the “Aha” Moment clicked for me on this one

Reflection

When I started out trying to make money online. My only motivation was to do enough and get paid so I never had to work again.

I was so convinced if I put in a little bit of work in 3 months I should know all there is about affiliate marketing and how I could be a success at it.

I gave myself a 3 month period to learn all the lessons I could and start making ungodly sums of money.

I was tired of the anxiety and that I only had one source of income, My mind was a mess but most IMPORTANTLY I was in pain only true purpose could defeat( I did not know it at the time)

I wanted to be happy, Free and not have to do anything else. I also thought of how it could be if I got back in the best physical shape.

But here I was — 7 months in with no tangible results. I could have quit but I had exhausted every other option so I continued along. Comparing my results with others who had been at this for 5/6 years. ( the worst thing you could do to yourself)

I was bouncing from one easy “way to make money in 6 months” to another. The classic Shiny object syndrome.

But on that day, Listening to Mark Manson’s words while I casually worked on creating digital maps at my day job ( I am a GIS analyst ). As he explained the backwards law further it finally clicked.

I was pursuing the wrong feelings. I was only pursuing the positives of getting freedom and not what it would take.

Here are some points to drive this home

The body you crave ( Good health at the best physical conditions) is only possible if you can enjoy the pain of going to the gym everyday
The money and success you crave can only be achieved doing the truly difficult things daily — reading, learning more and applying the knowledge you get.

All in all — The backwards law in a quote would be

“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”

― Jerzy Gregorek

The hard choices you avoid for the bliss you want is actually the only way to get that bliss. This is diabolically simple.

It clicked. In other for the life I want, I had to enjoy the pressure, anxiety and pain that would push me to get that life.

later on, looking at the success stories I admired and reading their “journey” helped me digest this lesson perfectly.

This changed everything for me. I started looking for the kind of pain I could endure and enjoy.

One of which was — writing.I could write everyday.

When next you think of the bliss you want to enjoy and how good you want your life to be — think of the backwards law and find the pain that it would take to get you there.

Something you would keep on doing no matter what.

This is how practice gets you to perfection, Scratch that, Progress.

Lesson

The life you want is on the other side of the pain you are willing to endure/enjoy
As you visualize the results you crave, visualize the process it takes
Do not let your imagination be the only place you enjoy bliss, work on bringing them to life.
Pursue the negatives and enjoy the positives