Finally, I Decided to Write.
I had a teacher in final grade who was very different than the others. He was passionate about his work and valued our efforts.
He always left comments on my assignments and used to debate the subject I had written about with me personally in order to understand my ideas and explain his viewpoints as well.
I took the opportunity of finding someone who was patient enough to read my work, and I started to talk about my creative writings.
Then, each week I brought my texts to him.
Generally, he reviewed them, and sometimes he left comments, but he always told me that I must keep on writing.
Would I start to write seriously?
Well, in some moments of my life as a child I might have portrayed a future in which I would become a well-succeeded author, but I didn’t make any efforts to transform this dream into reality until just recently.
I thought that only a few people would take the time to read my texts. And I was not even sure that these readers would even give me good and supportive feedback, something which is important for me.
Besides, I was convinced that I was not talented enough.
As I was getting older, I found other passions that kept me steadier and more present.
Later on, writing was transformed into a pastime hobby that I practiced only when I was alone and, most of the times, stressed and depressed.
As a result, I wasn’t consistent, and I didn’t have an audience.
I shared 4 or 5 stories with my friends, who found them interesting. However, I didn’t see myself as a writer because I thought it was a risky career, and I was too obsessed about my professional and financial success.
Apart from this, I was sure that even my 2 or 3 fans would not help me publish, nor could they afford to buy my books themselves.
Therefore, I stopped sharing my texts and became my own writer and my own reader.
Finding relief through writing is never as waste of time, but not publishing these texts might be
Sometimes I thought that I had to publish my dramas, but more often I thought that they were too dark and intimate to be in the public eye.
Hence my second thought always had me hide in the shadow.
Sometimes I wanted to go outside of it, but I always felt that it was the perfect place.
I thought that I was protecting people from knowing some parts of me, which I felt was antisocial and nasty; nevertheless, I was just protecting my life from being seen, criticized, and improved.
Then one day I decided to publish a draft I had written.
I sent it to some people, and most of them read it and messaged me their comments. I felt very happy and decided to continue to write and publish my texts.
However, sometimes I feel resentment about what I have published so far. Something continues to hold me back as if I were an iron held by some magnet.
Anyway, I keep on writing because I also do it to express my thought, and to know myself better.
Besides, by writing frequently, I am trying to find my aura, exploring new styles, and reinventing myself.
I am still in my learning process.
If I become a good writer, one day I might be discovered.
I know that for everything in life, the beginning is often the toughest moment because people don’t really know you, and they don’t know your intention.
They might oversee your errors instead of appreciating your work. And it is normal.
When it comes to writing it might be a bit weird to even start the first text.
We write for readers. Don’t we?
Then if we haven’t got any, it would be like preaching in a desert.
That’s why platforms where young writers publish their works are also perfect places to find your first readers. And yes, the writing journey is easier when it is a shared one.
I have created a Facebook group for writers and readers, if you want to be part of it click on this link.
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