BITER TO FIGHTER
Fighting to Swim to the Other Side
Better get a buoy
The biggest fighter I knew as a kid is the biggest fighter I know as an adult. When I was little, my best friend was a biter. She could have been cast in Mad Max without a costume-wild tangled three different shades of hair, feral clawing animalistic primal instinct, a watchful expression like she could jump scare a jump scare.
I loved her. Love her. It helped I didn’t mind getting bitten and I’ve always liked girls on fire. I was thinking about her this morning as she is fighting for her life.
I remember the child version of her. She was a biter as a kid and she’s a fighter as a woman. The trick about being sick is being a fighter is only part of the equation. There are more battles to come even if you win the first one.
This morning when I was swimming, I felt like I wasn’t making any progress. Every time I looked towards the shore, I thought, have I moved? I was swimming in a washing machine. I had to stop and do breaststroke to make sure I was headed in the right direction.
The wrong direction was out to sea. The current’s direction kept me swimming away from the shore. I reminded myself that I had a buoy. If I swam too far out, I could use my buoy to float, rest and orient.
Swimming in open water gives me a lot of chances to face my fears. I have to let go. There’s no alternative. It’s not like running when I can stop. If I stop in the water, sayonara. I can only float for so long. I can’t get freaked out. It will mess with my breathing. One arm in front of the other. Kick kick kick. Baby steps.
Lake Michigan thinks she’s an ocean so I treat her like an ocean. Start treating her like a lake and she’ll gobble you up.
You can go far enough out in her that you can’t see the shore and then the land is guesswork.
I wrote about fighting yesterday. I suggested girls should fight more physically so we might fight less emotionally. I thought about my old friend who was the best fighter in the world as a child. I believe this made her a peaceful adult. She is living proof that girls need to fight to get to the other side.
Though she spent years as this calm woman, she is fighting again. I’ve seen her do it before and she was victorious. I look forward to seeing her getting to the other side of this, so she can rest up and prepare for the rest of her beautiful life’s battles.