Fighting off ADHD Hibernation
There’s a difference between getting away to recharge, and hiding from the world.
The idea of ADHD hibernation is relatively new, but it is a real problem for ADHD people. Here is the story of my struggle, and maybe a suggestion or two for fellow ADHD people.
It looked like a great weekend. Typical late September in Kansas. Not a cloud in the sky, a high of about 80, and a low in the 60s. I had the weekend off, and there were no household type jobs waiting for me.
I was looking forward to a beautiful weekend and I was free to do anything I wanted. I checked some maps and considered some new trails I have not yet hiked. I checked hotel rates and planned out a little itinerary that looked like fun.
But a strange thing happened. Sometime in the evening on Friday a mental fog set in. The weekend was spent mindlessly playing video games, watching some TV, and some pointless internet scrolling. The next thing I know it’s Monday morning and I am at work wondering what happened to my weekend.
I managed to get to work but the fog persisted through Wednesday. As soon as I got home each evening I went to the computer and hid. I barely ate and got no exercise at all. I did none of the things I should have done to feel better. I was not even taking my anti-depressants.
Thursday I took my meds, ate a good breakfast, and went to the gym. All good things that are good for my mental health and sense of well being. By Friday I was myself again, back to working out, eating right, and doing productive things. It was cold and rainy that Saturday, but I went hiking anyway and had a good time.
Why do I fall into these times of fog and cannot seem to get out?
This has happened more than once and it has been a mystery. Why do I fall into these times of fog and cannot seem to get out? It is similar to depression, and that is what I have called it at times. Of course, I know what to do when this happens, but anyone who has struggled with depression knows, the last thing you want to do in this state is anything positive.
Recently I came across an article on “ADHD Hibernation,” and it struck a chord.
It seems to describe my situation very well. She is right in that the hibernation experience is not pleasant. I have had times when I have retreated from the world intentionally to rest up and felt very good the whole time. This was nothing of that nature. It is like a fog. There is nothingness. The activities are just activities, and it doesn't even matter what they are. I may have spent 20 hours straight on a computer game, but I don’t remember any of it.
Hibernation is a good word for it, and it does fit the ADHD mold.
Usually, I feel it coming on. There is an internal restlessness or a feeling of hopelessness. I am not sure what triggered the last bout though. Triggers can be something huge like a real physical crisis, or something very minor that you don't notice. It could even be an unpleasant memory that your conscious mind only saw for a second.
Another article I found was on coming out of hibernation after trauma.
https://www.ableadhdcoaching.com/blog-post/coming-hibernation-discover-right/
This one was similar but focused more on trauma and failure. It is true that ADHD people are very hard on themselves, and feel the pain of failure more than we feel the goodness of success. Even though I know better, I will still beat myself up for two weeks over a stupid mistake, and only celebrate a victory for a few minutes.
Overcoming for now
I found myself wanting to slip into hibernation again recently when I had two consecutive days off. A trigger there is my work, which often involves six 12-hour days a week. It also has a random schedule, so I don’t know when I will be off. It just depends on the whim of the manager, and that can change daily.
This has been going on for a while, and I should be used to it by now. It is still frustrating, so maybe that was what was triggering me.
This time I saw it coming and put a plan into action.
This time I saw it coming and put a plan into action. I started planning a weekend getaway four days ahead of two-days off. I told the manager that I had plans for those two days he has scheduled me off, and he agreed to not change it. Of course, he acted like he had done me a favor and now I owed him something, but I am used to that as well.
I told my wife about my little plan and she wanted to go with me. I was not thrilled as I wanted to be alone, but I agreed. The weather then turned bad and she changed her mind. I also changed my mind about the trip and could see days of hibernation coming.
On the evening before my two days off, I went to the gym and worked out very hard. I went home and slept well after eating a healthy meal. I went hiking the next day even though it was cold and windy. I did fade away the first afternoon and into the evening but rebounded with another hike the next morning. I had a good day of writing on my second day off.
There was still a desire to hibernate, but I held it off. As the article suggested, I talked with someone about the struggle and made a plan. That, along with some good strenuous physical activity, pulled me through.
Hibernation or depression
The feeling of hibernation coming on, or depression rising up, is pretty much the same feeling. I am sure they are first cousins at least.
Most people with depression or hibernation tendencies know what to do. The problem is, the things you know to do are the things that are the hardest to do in that situation. I know I should eat, for instance, but when I am hibernating I may go three days and suffer weakness from not eating. Yet at that time the idea of eating is nauseating.
The only victory I have found is spotting it early and doing something to change the narrative. Stop that train before it builds up any steam.
How can you change your own narrative to stop the train into hibernation?
Here are some more of my adhd stories
James Jordan is a freelance writer in the Midwest. I write about writing, and about ADHD. Here is my site. You may reach me at [email protected]