Fight the Monster. Never Give In.
What a patient with multiple sclerosis has taught me.
“Take fear and isolation, and replace it with hope and community. That is the equation for a better life.”
I’m a Kinesiologist and personal trainer. I love what I get to do because my role allows me to meet an incredible, diverse community of people. I’m a firm believer that training is less about curls and burpees, and more about embracing a devoted, intricate conversation that happens to involve exercise.
In reflecting on my last few months of training, one conversation has stood out, impacting me far more than I would’ve ever expected. Sometimes, I glean more from my clients than I’ll ever be able to sew back in as an exercise specialist, and I’m ok with that.
On fighting the monster.
Suzie has Primary Progressive M.S., a rare form of the disorder that grips on to just 10% of patients. PPMS is not only incredibly hard to diagnose, but its onset is ten years later than other versions of the M.S. Upon our first meeting, Suzie detailedly described her life being ripped away at forty, with no indication of what was going on. Talk about terrifying.
Now that she’s diagnosed with PPMS, she’s incredibly in-tune with her body. Her primary symptoms are instability with walking and fine motor control, along with spasticity and range of motion difficulties throughout her right arm and shoulder.
In other words, there is not a moment that goes by when her body doesn’t remind her of what she has.
This would be enough to defeat most people and drive them into fear, shame, and isolation. Fortunately, Suzie is a fighter by nature. From the moment we started training, she’s had her boxing gloves on and ready. Furthermore, she has the most beautiful perspective on life — both in the deepest struggles and victorious triumphs. She battles life with positivity and hope.
Suzie refers to her specific condition as ‘The Monster’. The first time I met her, she requested that we do everything in our power to fight The Monster and take back control. I was in.
Man oh man does she fight too. Suzie won’t let a day go by where she doesn’t get her right arm over her head or walk across the clinic without any assistance. She’s armed with powerful weapons, ones that we should all equip to become more resilient, hopeful humans beings.
Three ways to fight back.
1) Create distance between you and The Monster.
The thing I like about Suzie calling her M.S. ‘The Monster’ is that she’s labeling it as something outside of her. Too often I find that we allow a diagnosis to seep into our identity — letting it defeat us. When the physical symptoms arise, they seep into the very core of our heart, soul, and mind.
“I’m not feeling ok. But I know that I’m still ok”.
By Suzie creating separation from her and the M.S., she’s able to recognize that it doesn’t define her. Even when The Monster rages on her bad days, she can say, “I’m not feeling ok. But I know that I’m still ok”.
2) Seek out community and be vulnerable.
A major killer is isolation. We are built to be together. Suzie has taken this to heart, as she’s constantly surrounding herself with supportive people, and intentionally connecting with them on an intimate level. She has a handful of trainers and specialists, a yoga group, and an online support team that she meets with weekly. Through community, she can hold on to hope because she’s actively moving towards a goal and doing it with people she loves dearly.
3) Get a dog… or find something else that sparks joy.
It seems that every week we train, Suzie has another legendary story of how her dogs got stuck under the house or almost hit by fireworks. I realized early on that these pups were Suzie’s most reliable form of medication. Not only did they spark joy every day, but they were something that she had control of.
Being the head of the household, these pets keep Suzie accountable to being a leader. Furthermore, they offer her an opportunity to invest in another life, even when she feels defeated. There is nothing more energizing or empowering than being selfless in moments of struggle.
Fighting our monsters.
Now we may not be battling a progressive neurological disorder, but we all carry something. Whether your monster is depression, a porn addiction, or binge eating, I encourage you to identify it and reflect on how Suzie’s story could influence your own. Be inspired by her battle, and remember that you too can forge a powerful weapon to keep The Monster at bay. Hold onto the fact that…
1. The Monster is not in control of you, and shouldn’t be a part of your identity.
2. Community is the most potent antidote to fear and isolation. When you seek help, you’re not only being brave, but you’re valuing yourself enough to seek solutions within your struggle. That takes strength.
3. When the going gets tough, you can still invest in yourself. Whether it’s a dog, sport, or knitting hobby, implement activities into your week that keep you going. The monsters of the world can bite at any moment, but you can still have control over when you’re in your happy place.
In closing,
Never stop fighting.
Battle your monster with everything you’ve got. Be vulnerable. Seek help. Find joy in the little things. Most importantly, never give in to fear. If you can keep your head above water, ‘The Monster’ will never drown you. In fact, overcoming this battle may be exactly what you need to remind yourself that you’re a beautiful, resilient, valued human being.
“He who fears he will suffer already suffers because he fears”. Michel De Montaigne.
-DavidLiira.Kin