Fifty Ways to Wear Your Mask Wrong
A Song Parody of Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon

The problem is right there on your face, she said to me The answer is easy if you will think logically From Covid-19 we are struggling to be free There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong
She said, it’s really not my habit to be rude Furthermore I am not saying you’re a hopeless stupid dude But I’ll repeat myself, otherwise we might be screwed There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong 50 ways to wear your mask wrong
Got it under your nose, Rose Top of your head, Ned It’s not worn like a hat, Matt Not hearing my plea Pushed to the side, Clyde Hanging off of your ear, dear All jaunty and free, Lee Not as it should be
Not wearing at all, Paul Over one eye, Cy Firmly held in your hand, Rand Obey the CDC Under your lip, Flip ‘Round the back of your neck, Beck It’s tied to your knee, Bee You’re breathing on me
She said, it grieves me so to see you are so dumb I wish there was something I could do so common sense would come I said, I appreciate that but would you please explain About the 50 ways
She said, why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight? In the morning read the symptoms and that should give you a fright And then we air-hugged and I realized she probably was right There must be 50 ways to wear your mask wrong 50 ways to wear your mask wrong
Got it on too loose, Moose Big giant gap, Pap Put it on in the dark, Mark No protection, you see Uncovered chin, Winn It’s half falling off, Joff All breezy and free, Bee Need a mirror, you see
Got it under your nose, Rose Top of your head, Ned It’s not worn like a hat, Matt Not hearing my plea Pushed to the side, Clyde Hanging off of your ear, dear All jaunty and free, Lee Not as it should be
