Fiddling With Things You Love Can Change Your Life

And, sometimes, you’ve got to kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight.

While surfing YouTube recently, I found Jewel Kilcher, known as Jewel, singing her smash hit "Who Will Save Your Soul."

She began writing the song when she was sixteen, gradually adding lyrics over the next few years. When she turned twenty-one, it was the hit song on her twelve-time platinum album Pieces of You.

She said writing those fifty words changed her life forever.

It got me thinking about the value of fiddling with things, chipping away at stuff, particularly things we're attracted to, care about, and love.

You may enjoy writing but doubt much will ever come of it. You may want to play a musical instrument or sing at an open mic, but don't think you're good enough yet. You may want to practice meditation but find it too difficult. You may want to speak up more confidently in meetings with your colleagues but struggle to do so.

We all have quiet hopes and dreams about what we want in life.

I wanted to do many things as a kid: Play professional basketball. Be a singer in a rock band. Write novels. Build wooden furniture. Be a badass and ride a Harley Davidson across the country.

But I only had so much God-given talent, time, and resources, so big dreams eventually became hobbies, labors of love, and sources of enjoyment — not a means of supporting myself.

I learned to do two important things —

Fiddle with the stuff I love and ignore the buzzkill voices from others or from inside my head.

For example, I began to play guitar when I was twenty-five. I pecked away at it for years, off and on, but kept returning because I enjoyed it. The voices of doubt always lurked nearby — "You can't sing on key. You're not a very good guitar player. Why bother to put so much time into this?"

My heart said I love making music, so I pushed the negative self-talk aside and kept at it. I didn’t know where it would lead — it was a challenge, and I liked it.

Thirty years later, I was the lead singer in a garage band, playing occasional gigs in small clubs and recording three albums of original material.

I was no rock star, but I had tons of fun and I’m proud of my accomplishments. I imagined nothing like that when I was twenty-five.

Bruce Cockburn, pronounced Coburn, a Canadian singer-songwriter, captures the journey to finding fulfillment in two superb lines from his song, "Lovers in a Dangerous Time,"

But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight — Got to kick at the darkness ’til it bleeds daylight

The darkness, the naysayer in your head, needs a kick because it will keep you down, small, timid, afraid to puff out your chest and take a risk. It says you're not good enough — everyone else is better.

You need to punch a hole in those beliefs and find your power. And when you find your power, stand in it, feed it, and take care of it. No one else is going to do it for you.

One way to ignore the voices of doubt and call on your power is to ask yourself, what decision can I make today that my future self will thank me for?

For Jewel, she decided to keep writing lyrics to that song. For me, it was practicing guitar for thirty minutes each day, meditating in the morning before work, and developing better skills at whatever job I had.

Small efforts every day add up over time and help manifest your dreams.

The point is to feed what you care about.

The world pulls at us — bills to pay, children to raise, and jobs that require extraordinary time and effort. It's so easy to succumb to the pressures of daily living that we often get disconnected from the joy of being alive and doing things that bring us fulfillment.

We need to remember that life is meant to be enjoyed.

I have five guiding principles that help me kick at the darkness and find the light.

• Do what brings me joy. If it isn't fun, don't do it.
• Do work that is of service to others.
• Be honest and respectful when communicating.
• Practice meditation and mindfulness.
• Make friends and build community wherever I go.

Final Thoughts

What are your guiding principles? What helps keep you on track?

How can you keep fiddling with something that will make your life more enjoyable?

How can you kick at the darkness til it bleeds daylight?

Have a wonderful day.

— Don

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