Fictional Aliens as Dinner Party Guests in Decreasing Order of Desirability

Xenomorph or Predator? Weigh the options

As part of my commitment to addressing the most important and hard-hitting stories of these turbulent times, I present the pros and cons of inviting various space aliens to your dinner party.

1. Yoda

• Whimsical sense of humour
• Makes you think
• Sexy accent
• Doesn't eat much
• Can pass dishes around table via telekinesis
• May give a light sabre demo after dinner if asked nicely

2. Mr. Spock

• Brings a touch of class with his Starfleet dress uniform
• Lots of off-the-record stories about Captain Kirk
• Keeps his cool even if someone chokes on a Brussels sprout
• Vulcan mind-meld makes him great at Pictionary
• Do not invite during pon farr

3. Superman

• Good-looking in a basic white guy kind of way
• Can heat up cold food with X-ray vision
• If furniture falls on someone he can easily lift it up
• May attract unwanted supervillain attention to your event
• You’d think he’d be interesting to talk to but he’s not
• Unfortunately Clark Kent couldn’t make it tonight

4. ET

• Product placement opportunities
• If he suffers an allergic reaction and dies don’t worry, it’s only temporary
• Will play with your kids
• Not great at small talk
• Maunders on about going home

Navi’i (Avatar)

• Peaceful and wise with Big Hippie Energy
• Matches your Blue Willow China set
• You may be able to have sex with them
• May bring unobtanium instead of another bottle of Merlot
• Probably too big for your dining room
• Will make you feel guilty

5. Predator (Yautja)

• From an advanced race but won’t talk about it
• Camouflaged so if he’s in his chair someone could easily sit on him
• Always up for a fight
• Will kill someone but not everyone
• Why is he perched on top of the armoire

6. Xenomorph (Alien)

• Can mimic celebrity voices
• Despite impressionist skills, not funny at all
• Depending on level of development, may burst from the stomach of a dinner party guest during dessert
• She will lay eggs under your table
• For God’s sake don’t invite Ripley
• Will probably end the human race on Earth

Honourable mentions: ALF, Groot, My Favorite Martian

This is by no means an exhaustive list so fanboys/girls can use the comments to advocate for anyone you think has been unjustly overlooked.