LEADERSHIP
Feminine Leadership Is Rising
How can we support this compassionate, inclusive, peaceful wave flooding our planet?
Two big waves are washing over our Earth. One wave is violent and pushy and trying to convince with narrowly framed messages. The other wave is merging heads and hearts and is inclusive and not perfect.
We can feel both waves in our bones and our blood.
The first one triggers our fear.
The second one triggers our love.
And we try to choose, but we often cannot. The fear is too big. And the love is sometimes too fragile still.
I don’t like the words masculine and feminine because this is not about men women. But I’m going to use these words anyway.
The first wave is an extreme of the masculine energy and the second wave is the feminine energy rising. In this story, I will try to give you a glimpse of the future that is now emerging.
And I’ll tell you what I do to help this movement. In my own, modest way. Nothing spectacular. But if we all adopt it, it might have a huge impact.
Political Leaders
There are two political streams in this world. No, I’m not talking about left-wing and right-wing politics. We all know about those. It’s old news.
It’s time to move on.
It’s time to cross the borders of right and left. Create inclusive, regional communities that have vibrant economies for basic needs. Taking care of their ecosystems. Resilient in the face of adversity and uncertainty.
So I see something completely different. I see the Trumps and the Jacindas. The screamers and the soft-spoken. The bashers and the compassionate ones. Closed minds and open minds. Abyss-creators and bridge-builders. Fear-haters and love-lovers.
Most people just see the Trumps, the Putins, and the Bolsenaros of this world. They feel their oppressive power, their greed, their looking-for-someone-to-blame-style of leadership.
And people like you and me, we react. Driven by our emotions. We either choose to be with them because it feels safe under the wings of a strong man. Or we choose to fight them.
Uproar, violence, and polarization is the result. The opposites will never convince each other, they will only succeed in making the other fight harder and more violently. Seeking control.
Fighting and Farming
I now choose another way. And that’s what I want to tell you about. That there is another way. To be honest, I’m no fighter. I’m a farmer. I like to see nature, and people and things grow. Flourish. Bloom.
My nature is to choose flight or freeze over a fight. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that a catalyst is not necessary. I will stand my ground, I support my view of a better future fiercely and I am a catalyst when it is necessary for a certain situation.
But fight? Really violently fight? Neah…
It will be no surprise for my regular readers that I support the Jacindas of this world fiercely. I think our world needs feminine leadership most of all. Compassion, and strength without overpowering others. Deep listening and trying to see another person’s perspective. Our world needs a diversity of humans and biodiversity of all other species.
Our world needs connection instead of polarization. It needs layered stories with nuances instead of framed, hateful bashing. And then it needs determination in a vision and action.
And we can all contribute.
How? It’s kind of easy and not easy at all.
- We can avoid toxic behavior and stop trying to convince people of our personal beliefs
- We can start inspiring people by telling about our own feelings of happiness and our honest struggles without expecting others to follow the same path
- We can start by supporting each other fiercely. Also when someone makes a mistake. Also when someone is confused. Also when someone is not perfect
Are you perfect? I know I’m not. Not even close!
So, I will not expect others to be.
And that includes the feminine leaders in this world. I do recognize the ones who share my values. They can be male, they can be female, but I do recognize them being honest. And doing their stinking best to make change happen in a confusing world.
Not an easy task. So why not strengthen their efforts with my support?
Today they make a mistake. Tomorrow they say sorry. And the day after tomorrow they will have learned and they do it better.
That’s okay with me.
Compassion on a Different Level
One of the leaders who really speaks to me still is Nelson Mandela. This president of South Africa is my real-life example of a feminine leader.
He had immense compassion and a huge talent for forgiveness. And he realized that forgiving is something you make yourself happy with. Not the other. Our own lives become livable and joyful if we train our forgiveness-muscles.
Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa from 1994–1999, after the abolition of apartheid. And he asked his people to forgive. Their stories were heard in the Truth and Reconciliation Commission and they were helped to forgive. Not to be forgotten. Just to be forgiven.
For me, this is the utmost example of broadening your view to include those of your torturers. Nelson Mandela was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for it.
“We, the people of South Africa, declare for all our country and the world to know: That South Africa belongs to all who live in it, black and white, and that no government can justly claim authority unless it is based on the will of the people.”
— Opening words of the Freedom Charter — Wikipedia
In all his actions, Nelson Mandela made sure to include everyone. And inspire people not to get stuck in hatred, but to look beyond to a future of togetherness.
“Presiding over the transition from apartheid minority rule to a multicultural democracy, Mandela saw national reconciliation as the primary task of his presidency. Having seen other post-colonial African economies damaged by the departure of white elites, Mandela worked to reassure South Africa’s white population that they were protected and represented in “the Rainbow Nation”
He was no Saint though. He made mistakes. The right-wing politicians said he was a communist and his own black followers thought he was too compassionate with the white Afrikaners.
But he persevered.
And a vicious civil war was prevented because of his leadership.
I always imagine him alone in his rooms. Desperation close, tears of exhaustion in his eyes. And fear in his heart because of all the resistance he faced. And thinking of how his loyal, fierce supporters must have helped him remain strong and resilient.
What a hellish job!
And what a need for support!
Personal Development
Here on Medium, we see a lot of stories about personal development. And I think it’s time that we all have a good look in the mirror and get to work.
I train my compassion muscles.
I train my deep listening skills to keep an open mind under all circumstances and see another person’s viewpoint.
I try to recognize the moments when it’s better to be silent.
I stopped shouting opposite opinions, feeding the illusion that anyone is going to change her/his ways because of me. Nowadays, I try to give an inspiring answer with an honestly curious question.
And I fiercely support the honest leaders among us. I am not saying, I do not mirror. I do say that if I give suggestions for growth I’ll do so in private. In public, my support is strong. It is giving them a rock to stand on. A tree to lean against.
Leaders in my peer groups. In my work environment. And in my personal space. Leaders who are trying to make things happen without boosting their egos too loudly. Changemakers. Mediators. Peacekeepers.
And the risk-takers I often write about, trying to be the entrepreneurs for the common good. Putting all their efforts and creativity into businesses that make nature-based solutions happen. The ones who create multiple benefits for humans and other species in our mutual home, Gaia.
Current Uprising in Belarus
One uprising I’m following with a lot of interest is the one in Belarus. Thousands of women have taken to the streets against what is called the ‘last dictator of Europe’ Alexander Lukashenko.
The women (and men) are peacefully protesting with flowers and songs. And the dictator, supported by Vladimir Putin from Russia, is getting angrier by the day.
But he doesn’t dare to give the order to shoot at the protesters for fear that they won’t follow orders. He will be lost when the police and the army will take the side of the protesters.
Can non-violence survive against brutal force?
I’m following and hoping. And I’m supporting these women en men from a distance. Thinking about them every day. Visualizing strengths in their hearts and fierce perseverance.
Will they become too tired after a while? Will their protests escalate after all and become violent against Lukashenko?
I hope not. I hope we can make the waves of inclusivity, compassion, and peace strong enough to survive egos. And uprising. And violence.
And it depends on us all, supporting feminine leaders fiercely…
Well, this is my stand. What is yours?
I’d love to read your view in the comments…
Dr Mehmet Yildiz Kathryn A. LeRoy, Ph.D. P.G. Barnett Joe Luca Bill Abbate Timothy Key Tony Young, Jr. Rasheed Hooda Michele Thill Tree Langdon Lori Brown Henery X (long) Amy Marley Sinem Günel iCanay Josine Bakkes Zairah Khan.
As a follow up on the recent story by Paul Myers MBA about a neuroscience-based approach to leadership, I would like to really read your view on feminine leadership and fierce support.
Thank you, Mike, for adding your wise energy to my words.
And if you want to connect, you can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, or my website. Or somewhere in the world listening to Nature’s wisdom and feeling the waves of the world having a huge impact…
© Désirée Driesenaar
Further reading
Life is like scales. I weigh money with time and freedom. And lately, I know that I should have added a fourth one: compassion for humans and other species…
And of course, we can change the world with our business models