Fellow Karens: It’s Time For Us to Take Back our Name!
I’ve had the name Karen for almost 58 years, but a strange thing happened in the last couple. My name turned into something derogatory. Originally, Karen (and Cathy) meant pure/clear (Greek origin). In the past couple of years, its meaning has changed to racist, self-important bitch. I’m not seeing that as an improvement.
When I first started seeing people being called Karens online, I was alarmed and felt a bit betrayed. How could people say those things about me? Then, on one thread, a poster named John said “welcome to the club.” Seems like every John, Dick, and Harry have something negative associated with their names. So, do these people let those negative connotations wear them down? No. (Well, not all of them anyway.) I had an Uncle John who was quite a character. Once, when he gave a job interview/motivational speech, he walked on stage with a toilet seat around his neck to help the audience remember his name. He didn’t let it get him down, he OWNED it. It’s time for us Karens to do the same.
I sometimes imagine what I would do if I saw someone harassing a minority, a fast-food worker, or generally being a self-important bitch. I imagine walking up and getting involved. Her response would be to tell me to but out as it isn’t my business. I then say “My name is Karen. I’m going to get blamed for your shit online. That MAKES it my business!”
When people use my name online, it gives me the authority to step in and stop bad behavior when I see it. I passed the fuck-it point almost a decade ago; I can’t be embarrassed about not causing a scene. It’s time for us to use our middle-aged, middle-class whiteness for good rather than evil. Let’s put on our superhero capes and patrol the grocery store parking lot. (Just keeping our eyes open as we go about our normal business works too.) Does watching and judging other people’s behaviors make us busybodies? Possibly. But we’re going to either get called a busybody or get our name hung on the bullying behavior, so we might as well make the choice rather than yielding that power to the internet.
This isn’t to say we should get involved in a knockdown, drag-out fistfight that causes people to fly through plate-glass windows. My knees and back aren’t really up for that type of thing. If we see something, we can pull out our cell phones and record it. Simply letting everyone at the scene know they’re being recorded can stop people from acting badly (they know they are acting badly). Most people fear the power of a video on Facebook, YouTube, or other social media for good reason, as the court of public opinion often returns rather harsh sentences. I’m not saying we should all become costumed vigilantes. (My body in spandex would make both bully and victim claw their eyes out.) I AM saying we shouldn’t turn a blind eye when we see something wrong, but instead see if we can de-escalate the situation, or call the police and/or record what goes on so it can't be “spun” later on.
Most of the people the internet calls Karens are nothing but bullies; women willing to use their stature in society as a bludgeon to get special treatment or beat people they don’t like. Giving them my name pisses me off, and I WILL get involved. Fellow Karens, we can reclaim our name by being a force for good: stopping bullying by being aware and calling people on their behavior, recording what’s going on, and yes, sometimes talking to the manager (or police). Bullies, this is your warning. My name is Karen and I WILL be talking to your supervisor.