Feelings Matter: Don't Let Your Dad Tell You Differently
I used to use drugs over the shitty feelings & Even the Good Ones — But WHY?
I tried to get clean the first 14 times for other people, it wasn't until I done it for ME — That I became successful! I had a problem with drugs and alcohol, I was allergic to them all breaking out in handcuffs every time I relapsed!
(Feelings Was/Were/Still/Always been Issue Matic to my Father)
They were imprinted in my brain to be a bad thing, I wanted to ask my dad at school why these school kids were calling me fat. I knew why they were calling me it, I just didn’t know why no one taught them how to treat others by the Golden rule my dad taught me —
“Treat others as if that’s how you want to be treated.”
When my dad noticed I was crying in my room at the age of twelve he pulled me up close for a big giant hug. He told me —
“Brushing it off your shoulders like a big boy-THAT would make you feel a lot better trust me”
I was wondering what exact magic he was referring to. I waited for him to pull out some magic wand, and even at a particular time, I mentioned —
Dad, I am not able to do that as simple as you can! I want to learn how to feel these feelings right!!?
He was pretty confused but without no hesitancy blurted out —
“Feelings suck, and I have no answers on how you should be feeling right now besides angry and that’s normal buddy so you need to forget about that and let’s go fishing”
That’s what my father did from the start. He always tossed his true feelings aside to start a new hobby or build a deer stand. Like the more hurt or angry my father got, the more projects he would be doing at one time. Four projects simultaneously made me aware that I shouldn’t be bugging him. With all this being said, I want my readers to understand the importance of this feelings chart. I’m not sure if you are aware, but I’m 28 years old. Learning this later on in life was definitely what saved my life!
The most basic picture we all seen before could save your life too!
I did not learn feelings until my first trip to a Dual Diagnoses Recovery Center at 26
I’ll explain something that happened to me just a few days ago that will make you understand getting Therapy is important just like emotional balance is —
I was at my mom's house visiting with my son. His mother and I just separated due to a lot of factors after our trauma bond ended. I starting to tell my mom my true feelings about how I felt in that moment.
As I seen her eyes start to frown. She said so nice an calm —
“I wasn’t expecting something so harsh from you …Wow that kinda ruined my mood”
Total backfire huh?
You see your mom isn’t supposed to hear everything that makes you feel bad. I was just trying to make myself feel better in the moment by hopefully hearing something back I needed to hear.
Telling your therapist your feelings have several benefits compared to confiding in your mother trust me.
Benefit Of Venting to a Therapist vs. a mother
- Therapists are trained professionals who provide a safe and non-judgmental space to express yourself.
- They offer unbiased support and guidance, helping you gain insights into your emotions and develop coping strategies.
- In contrast, while mothers may provide emotional support, they can also be too emotionally investing in your life, potentially leading to biased advice ←I added a link from PschcologyToday.
- Additionally, therapists are bound by confidentiality, ensuring that your feelings remain private.
- This confidentiality fosters trust and encourages open and honest communication.
So, sharing your feelings with a therapist can offer a more objective and supportive environment for your emotional well-being.
The Importance of Emotions and Their Role in Our Survival
One aspect of this topic that concerns me is the idea of numbing out emotions like I've done, which inadvertently includes numbing out the good ones. It is true that life can sometimes be overwhelming, and emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear may feel uncomfortable. However, numbing our emotions entirely can have unintended consequences.
Our emotions act as an internal compass, providing us with valuable information about ourselves and our environment. For instance, fear triggers the fight or flight response, which is crucial for our survival. If we encounter a dangerous situation, such as stumbling upon a bear and her cubs, our body’s natural response should be to recognize the imminent danger and activate the fight or flight response.
However, if we numb out our emotions, including that fear, we run the risk of not recognizing the urgency of the situation. This can prevent us from taking appropriate action to protect ourselves, right?
Ignoring our emotions might inhibit our ability to assess threats accurately and respond accordingly, potentially putting us in harm’s way — Derek.O
It is essential to strike a balance when it comes to our emotions. While it may be tempting to numb out negative emotions, it is equally important to allow ourselves to experience them, as they provide valuable information about our internal state and external circumstances. By acknowledging and embracing our emotions, we become more attuned to the world around us, making it easier to differentiate between dangerous situations and everyday challenges. This is something I was not taught by my father.
In conclusion, emotions are an integral part of our lives, and numbing them out entirely can hinder our ability to recognize and respond to critical situations, like a bear in the woods for example. While it is understandable to desire relief from overwhelming emotions, it is crucial to remember that emotions serve a purpose and play a significant role in our survival.
By allowing ourselves to experience and understand them, we can navigate life’s challenges more effectively — Derek.O
How I Stay Clean
- Make my bed first thing when I arise.
- Think of my feelings chart I have implanted in my brain (asking myself how I feel)
- Write a three subjected gratitude list, or a circle chart!
The homework assignment is to make a circle list. (TRY IT!) If you really want to get clean, or even for the struggling mental health individuals can benefit as well. If you're reading this going forward, you must have to fuckin try everything once, so if you haven’t tried a gratitude list, or making your bed first thing in the morning to create a healthy habit then try it please-don’t be such a fuckin pussy! Anyone could benefit from making their own HOMEMADE CHEET SHEET ON BETTERING YOUR LIFE!!!
- How are you feeling today?
- Give three reasons why you feel that way.
- Give three things you are grateful for
Emotions play a crucial role in our daily lives, helping us understand and navigate the world. They serve as our body’s natural response to various situations, allowing us to experience joy, love, excitement, and a wide range of positive emotions that enrich our lives. Don't numb out all the future good emotions to be coming your way. Pick up sobriety now with my guide to my success if it doesn't work, I'd be willing to help anyone who is willing to help themselves out by reaching out accepting the fact that drugs & alcohol have been ruining your life then I'm sure I would be the perfect fit to come up with a relapse prevention that works for you!
