Feeling Silenced

A Poem

I can’t speak You won’t hear me above your own words Even if you do, you won’t acknowledge it

I can’t think My thoughts don’t matter to you Unless they align with your own

I can’t focus My work will go unappreciated anyway Unless you benefit directly

I try some days To explain and to compromise To beg

You walk away I guess you don’t respect me enough to listen You know I won’t leave

I still can’t get a handle on you 10 years and you still confuse me Do you love me? Do you even know me?

Half the time you are amazing Loving, caring, kind, attentive, strong, protective You make me feel safe and warm

The other half, you are suffocating Selfish, disrespectful, angry, mean, uncaring I am left feeling vulnerable and insecure

Sometimes I try To make you happy, make you laugh It works for awhile

Then you just tell me how it isn’t enough You want more More than I can give

I feel myself drowning Drowning within the needs of everyone but myself You don’t even ask what’s wrong

I feel silenced Ignored Irrelevant

You will apologize I will forgive When does this cycle end?

I love you You say you love me If these things are true,

Then why do I need to get angry for you to listen? Why do I need to scream? Why must I act out of character?

I am left Feeling Silenced