Feeling Like Crap Today

Just thought I’d share.

Have you ever felt like someone or something turned you inside out and stomped the living shit out of you?

That’s how I feel today.

Yesterday was a weird one. I’ve been experiencing intense lower back and wrist pain, partially from a bit of arthritis that was exacerbated by my shoveling out my stuck Fiat from our driveway last Friday night at 12:30.

I had just gotten home from a wonderful night out with my wonderful sister, pulled into the driveway and immediately got stuck. My husband and I had been meaning to have “our guy” shovel and put salt down for us, but, you know…

So I scrambled out of the car, grabbed the shovel from the garage and worked my ass off for a good forty minutes. Shovel. Pull forward. Back up. Shovel. Pull forward. Back up.

Finally, I freed my little Chocolate Kiss (which is what I call my car) and stumbled into the house and straight to bed.

I’ve been feeling it ever since. Sore, achy and exhausted from the nightly ramblings of my husband, who is struggling with chronic insomnia. He thinks I’m dead asleep, but I hear him. I’m attuned to hearing him.

Yesterday, after I complained about my various aches, he offered me a “pain pill.” I forgot what it was. I only know that it starts with a “T.”

Now, I’m very sensitive to certain medications, especially pain pills like Vicodin or anything with codeine. Part of this is due to the fact that I rarely have enough food in my stomach to soak the stuff up. But I’ve always been this way. Most certainly, it’s a metabolism thing.

Since losing my job two years ago, my “healthy routine” has gone down the shitter. I used to drink green tea all day, ate two apples with peanut butter for breakfast and went to the gym, daily. I’m a creature who needs her habits. Some of them, anyway.

Now, I still work out every day at home, but I rarely eat anything until one or two in the afternoon. Not smart. But I’ve found that I’m a glutton for punishment.

Initially, I didn’t want to take the pill, but my husband reminded me that I had taken it before with no ill effects. So, I popped it. With nothing in my stomach but two cups of coffee laced with protein and collagen powders.

I left the house to run some errands and after about an hour or so, I began to feel strange. My body was hot, then cold. I felt the first signs of a “sick headache.” And my stomach began to roil.

Luckily, I made it home without incident because soon after, I was a full-blown mess.

Because I know my supplements, by God, I swallowed three activated charcoal tablets, which are supposed to help detoxify the body.

I promptly purged. Sorry. But that’s part of this tale. The fact that I vomited no less than a dozen times, probably more, with nothing in me but water and what was left of my morning coffee.

From one pill!

Imagine the worst hangover you’ve ever had. Compound that with horrible vertigo and light-headedness and you’ll get an idea of what I was dealing with.

I haven’t felt this bad in a long, long time.

And then my heart started to pound in my chest. Like a miniature pissed-off judge was inside me, swinging away with his miniature gavel. I’m not sure if that was due to panic or that my heart rate was indeed elevated.

I took a Xanax. It didn’t hang around long.

What a freakin’ weird experience. For hours, I drank water and then promptly vomited it up.

I felt like I had been poisoned. “Oh, hubby…?”

Because there was no way I could remain upright, I collapsed on a sofa in our basement and laid there for what seemed like forever, listening to my heart pound in my chest.

You might wonder why I didn’t hightail it to the ER. Because I knew it would pass. This has happened before, but not with the intensity that yesterday's “spell” brought on.

Finally, I gave up and hit the bed around 7 pm. When you consider that I took the pain pill at around noon, that’s a hell of a long time to feel like you’re dying.

With the help of my standard sleep cocktail — two Xanax and a Seroquel — I finally passed out, only to awaken several times throughout the night.

And wow, I had some crazy-ass dreams, too.

It helped that our baby, Lorna, was snuggled in next to me, her head resting on my hand.

The healing power of pets. There’s nothing like it!

So today, I feel like a semi ran over me but at least I’m not spinning. I may even try to eat a little something. (I had a hankering for Snyder’s hot buffalo pretzel pieces at 3 this morning. Go figure.)

The moral of this story? Sometimes, taking the pain is better than taking the pill. Trust me on this. And trust your instincts first and foremost. And if ever you feel like crap and need to vent, I’m here for you.

Thanks for letting me spew. I needed that.

Literally.

Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.