Feel Like a “Fraud”? How You Can Beat Imposter Syndrome

3 mindful ways to stop imposter syndrome and the fear of being found out

Do you believe that you are a “fraud” even though you already have the experience or expertise in your field of work, and that somehow you have been able to get away with fooling everyone? Yet, do you also encounter the fear that at any moment, you are going to be exposed?

If you have answered “yes” to the above, you could be grappling with an imposter syndrome.

With inner conflict going on, you can find it hard to believe in yourself or to put yourself out there.

What’s at stake is that an imposter syndrome can affect your work performance or the ability to step into leadership.

Well, the great news is: you are not alone.

You are Not Alone with Imposter Syndrome

Statistics show that as high as 70% of adults have experienced the feelings associated with the Imposter Syndrome.

I was certainly taken aback by the discovery, as I have had no idea it was that prevalent. Mistakenly, I once thought no one would understand what I was going through. Back then, I was too embarrassed to share that I felt like a fraud behind the facade of having it altogether.

Thus, it was with great relief that I found out about how high achieving professionals often face imposter syndrome. More women tend to be afflicted as compared to men. Celebrities like Emma Watson, Michelle Pfeifer and even Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg once confessed to having imposter syndrome.

“It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases. Any moment someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved.” Emma Watson

“I still think people will find out that I’m really not very talented. I’m really not very good. It’s all been a big sham.” Michelle Pfeifer

Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn’t embarrass myself — or even excelled — I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up.” Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg

It’s not that men don’t get imposter syndrome. They do too. Seth Godin wrote in The Icarus Deception that after a dozen best sellers he still feels like a fraud all the time. Well, knowing that you are not the only one having imposter syndrome signs may potentially offer you some respite; as it did for me.

Where I once suffered from chronic imposter syndrome, I hope to share what has worked to beat my crippling fears.

How Imposter Syndrome Strikes

It usually starts with a trigger.

You could be triggered into feeling like an imposter as a result of a life event such as, receiving an award or promotion, moving up into a leadership position, starting your own business, putting yourself out there as a coach or influencer, or becoming a first-time parent.

By having imposter syndrome, you tend to downplay yourself and have a serious inability to internalise all your wins. Additionally, because you perceive any previous win was more like a “fluke”, you reason that you are unlikely to repeat the success. With every accomplishment, you are thinking, “I was lucky this time, but luck is going to run out. When will others discover that I’m not up to the job?”

Imposter syndrome plays a mental tape that holds you hostage emotionally. You are afraid of exposure and thereby, being rejected by others. On the inside, you feel disappointed, frustrated and lousy about yourself, regardless of how many accomplishments you have made.

Consequences from Having the Imposter Syndrome

Having the imposter syndrome can stop you from showing up. Your fears become self-fulfilling in that because you believe that you are “not good enough”, you don’t step into leadership. You may even shame yourself for not living up to your potential.

Or, you could also be desperately trying to hide your self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy with compensating behaviour by overworking yourself or struggling hard to prove your worth. The outcome is living out days of anxiety, fearing the possibility of ridicule. As time goes on, the feeling of insecurity worsens. It’s a downward spiral since fear feeds on itself. You are in an agonising wait to be exposed by others of being a “complete fraud”.

3 Mindful Ways on How You Can Stop The Imposter Syndrome In Its Track

I have found that incorporating mindfulness helps. When I introduce a pause, it allows me to stop and mindfully reflect for some kind of reality check. There are 3 mindful ways and they are as follows… 1. Let go of perfectionism.

Be mindful that no one is perfect and hence, there is no need to hold yourself to unrealistic standards.

You certainly don’t need to be perfect to put yourself out there. Or that you need to be as good as someone else before you start to claim your worth. If you are stepping into a new role, you can always learn.

Don’t be afraid of being authentic and letting others know where you stand. Manage your expectations, even as you step up. Understand that you are a work in progress.

2. Review your past accomplishments.

It can be easy to forget what you have accomplished. The mind has a tendency to focus on past failures rather than successes. What can help is to keep a journal of what some of your past wins are. In your journal book, make a note of at least 5 wins right away.

Whenever I review the testimonials given by clients with whom I had helped, I experience a positive boost. By all means, do the same. Review your client testimonials and past accomplishments as often as you like.

A review can remind you that you are not a fraud. Now, this is not about inflating your ego. Rather it is for you to realise that you have got what it takes and that the world does need your contribution. 3. Check your assumptions.

Ask yourself if this fear of being a fraud has any basis.

Is it really true that you are deceiving people? Ask yourself if you are sharing what you know to the best of your knowledge. Or if you have truly done nothing to deserve your promotion.

With self-inquiry, you may just realise that this idea of being a fraud could be about keeping you safe. However, no one benefits if you decide to play small. On the contrary, it is better to challenge yourself with stepping up to the plate. Indeed, when I made things less about me but more about helping someone else, I became less affected by the imposter syndrome. Then, as I assisted more and more people with their problems, I got more and more success stories. It was what helped my confidence to grow.

Beating the Imposter Syndrome from the Inside-Out

I’d like to share some final observations through helping others as a coach. For those with chronic imposter syndrome and massive self-doubt, applying the above 3 tips may not be as simple and straightforward. In such situations, it is likely that there are deeper issues that need to be addressed. For instance, you could have developed imposter syndrome from childhood. It could be that your parents praised you only when you have scored As in school. Otherwise, they hardly paid attention to you.

Thus, you placed your worth on the achievement of results. It may explain why you grew up to be an overachiever, albeit one beset with insecurity. Whenever you find yourself lacking as compared to others, the belief of “I’m not good enough” kicks in due to the subconscious wiring. Fortunately, even though your issues stem from the past, deep insecurity can be overcome.

By letting go of any false stories, you are better able to internalise a new set of positive beliefs — beliefs that are rooted in the authentic confidence of “I am already enough”.