Fear Has Many Masks

“Fear often is expressed via any form besides fear itself.”

“Keep your dog under control.” …a mutter I’m not sure I heard.

We continued on down the stairs, Mini Schnauzer following suit, and stood by the exit doors waiting as our bus sat in idle traffic. Growing in boredom, my girl began sniffing at a nearby empty seat.

“I told you to keep your dog under control.” …was somebody talking to me?

I looked up and around and spotted a fidgety man cuddled up to the window sneaking quick glances* (*grimaces) at my inquiring dog.

“We’re gonna have a problem.”

“Are you speaking to me?”

“I told you before, keep your dog under control.”

I was stunned.

“She is under control.”

“I’m telling you now we’re gonna have a problem you and me.”

Fear often is expressed via any form besides fear itself. It can look like insecurity, control, procrastination, guardedness, bullying, arguments, apathy, self-doubt, avoidance, flight, judgement, jealousy, conform, introversion, extroversion, lack of motivation — it has an infinite supply of masks.

Let’s take the man in my story. Fear for him, in that moment, was expressed through aggression (borderline threat). He wasn’t to know, of course, that my dog’s innate nature is in fact very gentle; but he was to know that she wasn’t exhibiting any threatening or worrisome behaviour. And considering his reaction didn’t match up to her action — I realised this had nothing to do with my dog and instead everything to do with his past experiences.

Why don’t we express fear as fear?

Because it requires self-awareness and vulnerability.

We would sooner communicate and behave via unhealthy means than be vulnerable.

Because vulnerability, for most, seems almost the scariest of all.

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