Fatherhood Has Huge Implications on These 3 areas of Your Daughters' Life

I never thought that I would be as passionate as I am today about being a father—specifically a father to a little girl.

Being a father to a young woman in today's world is a daunting task. Ultimately, it’s an honor and a privilege.

A responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

The Awakening

My passion for fatherhood emerged by observing my ex's behavior and taking note of the effects it can have on people.

Ultimately that passion was fueled even further when I became a father to my firstborn child — a beautiful little girl.

Being with this person in na romantic capacity opened my eyes to the effects fatherhood can have on somebody. It made me realize how detrimentally important the role was and the impact that it could have on individuals.

And now I was a father. My newfound role and what I knew it meant for my daughter sparked extreme urgency in me.

My daughters’ mom had what she described as a mostly awful childhood riddled with abuse, drugs, and abandonment. This was mostly due to her fathers’ neglect nearly 100% of the time.

I realized the imprints he had left on her were silently sabotaging our relationship in the background.

Her father was never there physically with us during the arguments and seemingly uninvolved, but the effects that his actions have had on the mother of my child — are catastrophic.

To be clear…

We need moms. We need dads. Both are important in raising a child. And neither role is more important than the other. With that being said, Dr. David Popenoe, Professor of Sociology at Rutgers University, suggests:

“Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers — especially biological fathers — bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring. They provide protection and economic support and male role models. They have a parenting style that is significantly different from that of a mother and that difference is important in healthy child development.” — Dr. David Popenoe in “Life Without Father”

Both genders bring individual characteristics to the table that are essential to the growth of a healthy individual. Still, there do seem to be characteristics within a father's role that appear uniquely essential.

The father-daughter relationship has a uniqueness to it that should be held sacred, because of the implications it may cause later in life.

As a new father to a little girl, I wanted to not only justify my role but do some real digging into these future implications. I wanted to know what kind of real impact I could be capable of making, or lack thereof.

If you’re a dad, you can be sure you are making a huge impact on these three areas of your daughter's life.

1. Relationships

As I get older and wiser, I am starting to see that people are among the most important things about life. At the end of the day, people are all you have. Many of us have been tricked into believing that true happiness and fulfillment is found in owning and acquiring as many possessions or as much money as possible.

But I have bad news: none of those things can talk to you — and connections with other humans are the core of life.

Without quality human connections, everything else will fall flat in your life.

Developing and maintaining these healthy relationships with people is one of the best abilities to have — but many people struggle to do, simply because they were never taught how.

How You Treat People Will Be Modeled To Them

The father-daughter relationship will set the tone for any future relationships that she encounters. Whether that be friends, a future husband, or coworkers — how she treats and relates to them will be determined by the relationship she has with you.

When it comes to dating and marriage, the image of you in her head will give her a rough outline of what she looks for in other men.

Your character and behaviors are on displays in your day-to-day interactions:

• How do you speak to your neighbor?
• How you treat your server at a restaurant?
• Do you say please and thank you with intention?
• How do you treat your wife or other family members?

How you communicate and handle conflict will demonstrate to them how they think conflict should be handled.

All of those seemingly small interactions will rub off onto them.

Fathers need to realize that their children are closely watching them and that what they do matters a lot and has huge, long-lasting consequences on their offspring. — Paul Amato, The Father Effect

You impact all their relationships directly.

How you treat people today will directly correlate with how she relates to people tomorrow, or when you’re not around one day.

2. Self-Esteem & Emotional Well-Being

In order to develop positive self-esteem, a healthy father-daughter bond is the key. — Focusonthefamily

When a little girl has a loving, caring, and nurturing Father, her self-image will reflect that. She will have more confidence, and she will feel better about herself.

When you take the time to nurture the relationship with your daughter, she’ll know she’s worth loving, and if you can get her to know and believe that — she will believe and love herself even more.

The Pediatric Associates of Franklin have noted that,

Fathers are pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. Children look to their fathers to lay down the rules and enforce them. They also look to their fathers to provide a feeling of security, both physical and emotional. Children want to make their fathers proud, and an involved father promotes inner growth and strength. Studies have shown that when fathers are affectionate and supportive, it greatly affects a child’s cognitive and social development. It also instills an overall sense of well-being and self-confidence.

There is just something about a big ole’ lovin’ daddy that we all need. A good father will be an example of how to live life. He will lead the way. He will provide for them physically and emotionally.

If you can learn to be more vulnerable and understanding during her frequent mood swings, your connection will only grow stronger.

Being emotionally in-tune with your little girl part is where fathers alike could use some work. There is nothing wrong with this, as mothers tend to be more softhearted and empathetic.

I realized recently I had an issue listening to my 3-year old. It may seem silly, but if you want them to listen to you, you may have to hear them out for a moment and try to understand.

Instead of just shouting “No!” or “Don’t do that please!” try and go a little deeper with the lesson and practice open communication. Explain with reasoning. Even if she doesn’t fully understand, she knows you’re making an effort to teach her, which may build mutual respect.

Be the strong and burly protector she needs.

But also allow her to see you cry.

You may believe she sees weakness, but you’re actually demonstrating is that it’s okay to be sad sometimes, and it’s okay for us to show and feel your emotions.

It’s also necessary for you to regulate your emotions and healthily practice vulnerability, so she knows how to cope in the future.

My daughter calls me her best friend these days. That title means a lot to me because I know what being a best friend to a little girl means.

Be your little girl's best friend. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that you’ll always there if she ever needs anything.

Remind her frequently that you’ll always be there. Don’t assume because she finds a husband or has her own children that she doesn’t need you anymore.

She’ll just be facing different struggles that she still needs your help with.

3. Sexual Delinquency & High-Risk Behavior

Children raised without a biological father in the household have earlier average ages of first sexual intercourse than children raised in father‐present households. -Abstract, Father Absence and Sexual Intercourse

Teenage girls who have a strong male role model in their life are less likely to engage in promiscuous behavior in their teens and 20’s.

If a girl has a positive and engaging connection with her father, why would she need to seek approval from other boys?

Because that’s exactly what happens.

Girls who have not been shown healthy love do not know how to give healthy love. Therefore they seek it out in other men much earlier on than they should be and unconsciously try and make-up for the emptiness they feel where their dad should have loved them.

When a girl has learned from her father’s example how a proper man acts toward a proper woman, she has an intuitive sense of boundaries in relationships.

This pattern can be observed over and over again with women.

The weaker the bond is between father and daughter, the more likely it is that she will engage in those kinds of

If there is sexual abuse involved between a Father and daughter, that will make things exponentially worse. At that rate, you are almost guaranteed to have issues with all relationships in the future — especially with men.

A lot of these issues will revolve around self-esteem and self-image, and lack of trust for people.

Does that sound like the type of person anyone wants to be? Of course not.

Closing

I was motivated to write this for a few reasons, but one of the biggest was me being with my ex and witnessing how she was a product of her relationship with her dad.

I am not here to bash anyone.

The journey of healing and processing past traumas is only for that person.

For me, trying to overcome the adversities within that relationship was hard. It was not fun, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. Experiencing what I did has helped turn me into the man I know I am today. But if I’m honest, no man deserves to be with a woman with those kinds of issues. And no girl deserves not to have a great daddy.

So buck up, gentlemen. Be the man and father your little girl deserves — the future of the world is relying on you.

Written With Love ❤

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