Summary

The author grapples with the conflict between personal faith and the Church's expectations, particularly regarding intimate relationships and the confessional process.

Abstract

The article titled "Father Don’t Preach!" delves into the author's struggle with reconciling their personal beliefs with the traditional doctrines of the Church. The author reflects on a recent experience in confession where they felt pressured to divulge intimate details of a past relationship, which they found intrusive and irrelevant. The piece questions the logic behind certain religious teachings that seem outdated in modern society and criticizes the Church's approach to sexuality and marriage, highlighting the disconnect between religious edicts and personal autonomy. The author expresses frustration over being denied absolution and communion due to their refusal to comply with the priest's inquiries, suggesting a sense of judgment and control that is out of touch with contemporary life.

Opinions

The author feels that some Church teachings are outdated and lack logical sense in the current era.
There is a perceived expectation from the Church for unquestioning adherence to traditional beliefs, which the author finds problematic.
The author is critical of the Church's focus on the frequency of sexual encounters as a measure of morality or eligibility for absolution.
The article suggests that the Church's emphasis on purity before marriage is unrealistic and does not prepare individuals for the realities of marriage and intimacy.
The author believes that the Church exercises undue influence over personal choices and autonomy, particularly in matters of the body and sexuality.
The experience of being denied communion has led the author to feel alienated and judged by the Church, rather than supported.
The author implies that the Church's stance on marriage and divorce is not aligned with the complexities of modern relationships and the high rates of divorce.
The article conveys a sense of defiance and independence, as the author decides to take their chances outside the strictures of the Church's expectations.

Father Don’t Preach!

I am not a baby so don’t try to frighten me into submission. That crap won’t work, not anymore.

Yesterday was one of the most challenging days in a facet of my life that I rarely discuss — my faith.

It’s ironic that some of the earliest posts in my writing life were for a faith-based online magazine which petered off because I found myself increasingly at a crossroads regarding my personal perception of faith and the expectations imposed by the Church on how I should view and express my beliefs.

I am fortunate to be blessed with a brain to think and form informed decisions based on facts rather than blindly following.

Therein lies the dilemma, I believe.

Because I oftentimes think the church wants us to unquestioningly adhere to some old-fashioned beliefs that don’t seem to make any logical sense in the present day.

Yesterday felt like an inquisition in the confession booth.

It appears I had fallen short of providing sufficient details regarding my intimate life and the priest demanded I tell him every intricate detail of a previous relationship in order to offer me a more thorough absolution.

In other words, he wanted to know the frequency with which I had sex with my ex-boyfriend!

After a moment of stunned silence, I told him I didn’t keep a log of how many times we did it in a day, week, month, or over the course of a few years.

Does it even matter?

Apparently, it does. Because each time I did not keep track and go to confession, I may have inadvertently confined myself to the fires of hell.

Oh well.

Unaware (pun intended) that indulging in such a delightful experience would eternally jeopardize my soul, I ponder: Why, dear father, did the divine bestow upon us these emotions and instruments of gratification? (Sarcasm fully intended).

Look but don’t touch? Or look, touch but don’t go all the way? Or was I supposed to marry my ex-boyfriend for the intimacy alone? Perhaps that would have made it more amenable in the eyes of the Church.

I mean, considering that half of initial marriages in the United States and three-quarters of second marriages end in divorce, I seriously don’t anticipate a high batting average faced with those undeniable stats.

We have free sway over every other aspect of our body but this part seems to remain a source of contentment in the eyes of the church. As in what we choose to do with our body is not our business?

It makes me think that the powers that be in the Church must have structured it for ‘mind over matter’ test-related purposes. (Eye roll).

Listen, Father, I followed all the dictates of the church in my first marriage and where did that get me? Where was the Church when I needed it the most? And now you pass judgment on things which to a great extent was your fault?

“Preserve your purity for marriage,” they advised, as it aligns with the virtuous path of the good and pure-hearted girls.

Lol. Look at how incompatibility turned out.

And more importantly “Yawn.”

Yes, we did try counseling. It didn’t help one whit.

Sometimes I feel you guys promote that thought just so women like me are not dissuaded by the idea of marriage and the horrors that go on behind closed doors that we willingly chose a celibate life, like you, over going through that kind of ordeal.

Just another way you guys want to keep us women on the straight and narrow.

Father, in case you haven’t noticed, we are in 2023 not the Dark Ages anymore.

So, just because I refused to give you the info you need regarding my personal life, you denied me absolution and now I can’t receive communion, the one thing I eagerly look forward to each time I go to church.

And to add insult to injury, and during the mass, you delivered a sermon emphasizing the urgency of time how some of ‘us’ were taking things lackadaisically by playing with our eternal destinies casually by neglecting to make a sincere confession.

Step in line folks or be warned.

Why does this remind me of a narcissist concealed within a veil of prejudice and self-righteousness?

Given the nature of this particular father, he would probably have an apoplexy if he he discovered I am currently dating a man not of the faith.

Screw ‘em.

I will take my chances.