LODESTAR GAZETTE | FLASH FICTION | HUMOUR
Fat Cats of Capitalism
A short satirical flash fiction…
In a pocket dimension, parallel to our own, a whole other civilisation existed.
It was under the tight-fisted control of a group of wealthy fat cats. They were fat cats wearing pinstripe suits and top hats. One or two even had a cane or a monocle.
Their bank accounts and power thrived based on how much capitalism our world supported.
The more capitalism we have, the more money and power we have for them. They would keep the poorest members of their world oppressed as we did our own.
They used a magical window to monitor the progress of our world closely. They would only intervene if they saw that capitalism was in real danger.
Today they sat in the meeting room, the window projecting images of corrupt politicians and greedy bankers.
“Another day of taking it easy it looks like,” Gerald, the rotund ginger cat, declared as he leant back lazily in his armchair.
“Humans are so predictable”, drawled a tuxedo cat named Henry.
“I wouldn’t be so complacent”, another cat, a Bengal cat with a monocle, sniffed. Lord Monopoly was possibly their oldest and most senior and natural leader. “There have been multiple times when humans have almost banded together and successfully overturned the system”.
“Yes, but this particular generation of humans is so incompetent that they would probably pay for a free meal, " chortled Gerald.
“It’s not that they are incompetent”, one of the few women of the group, a curvy Maine Coon named Edna, purred. “It’s that they are too busy being divided over gender and sexual politics to unite against the real enemy. All the better for us, I say”.
“Thank god we have humans like Murdoch ensuring our best interests, " Henry said smugly. As long as there are billionaires like him around, our positions will never be in jeopardy. "
Gerald gleefully responded, “Humans and their herd mentality. We gotta love it when it works out for us!”
“But we cannot risk underestimating the spirit of the lower classes," Lord Monopoly sniffed. “History has shown that they can be dangerous when they choose to unite. If they ever do so again, it could spell trouble for us. "
“Yeah, but like that’s ever going to happen anytime soon”, scoffed Edna. “They can’t even agree to respect each other’s identities, never mind with each other’s views on capitalism”.
“It’s the upper middle class that are really sealing the deal for us right now”, chortled Henry. “They’re all scared of losing their comfortable lives and ending up like their poorer human counterparts that they end up siding with their richer superiors even to their own detriment”.
“It is truly something to behold”, Edna agreed, her whiskers twitching as she smiled. “All the while we get to sit here as the humans prop us up higher than we’ve ever been”.
“For now,”, Lord Monopoly conceded as they watched a woman cry because she couldn’t afford to pay her son’s hospital bills. “But human suffering may become too great at a point and that’s when we must be on guard”.
My husband, CJ Coop, said something about fat cats today, and this is where my brain has gone, haha! It's a bit of political satire, as I am wont to do now and again.
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