avatarChana Harris

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of internal change and finding personal balance for achieving lasting happiness, rather than relying on external quick fixes.

Abstract

The text argues that true and enduring happiness must originate from within oneself, as external changes only provide temporary satisfaction. It suggests that over-reliance on various dependencies, such as substance abuse, overeating, or excessive social media use, are merely escapes from confronting one's inner world. The author advocates for a tailored approach to happiness, highlighting the importance of balance that respects individual preferences and life stages. This balance involves listening to oneself, honoring feelings, and making behavioral adjustments without succumbing to societal pressures or self-imposed rigidity. The article also stresses the need to identify and overcome bad habits, seeking help when necessary, and cultivating good habits to foster a positive transformation in life. Key recommendations include regular meditation to calm the mind, deep breathing for physical well-being, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in enjoyable exercise—all of which contribute to both mental and physical health. The author encourages self-control and patience, acknowledging that personal growth is a gradual process that requires understanding and kindness towards oneself.

Opinions

  • The author believes that quick fixes like shopping, substance use, or unhealthy relationships are temporary and do not lead to genuine happiness.
  • Achieving happiness is not a one-size-fits-all solution; it requires a personalized balance that aligns with one's unique self and circumstances.
  • The pursuit of happiness should not involve denying oneself of all indulgences, but rather practicing self-discipline to avoid becoming a slave to destructive habits.
  • The author asserts that individuals are in control of their actions and have the power to change their lives from the inside out, emphasizing personal responsibility in the quest for happiness.
  • Meditation is highly recommended as a tool for controlling the mind, reducing negative emotions, and improving overall health.
  • Eating healthy and exercising regularly are presented as universally beneficial practices that contribute to physical and mental well-being.
  • The author encourages readers to be patient with themselves, acknowledging that change and personal growth take time and should be approached with kindness and understanding.

Fast-Track Your Way to the Oasis of Happiness Within

Real and lasting change has to come from within. Changing your outer world to fix your inner world only creates some temporary form of happiness.

Photo by Todd DeSantis on Unsplash

This is why we have addicts of all kinds. When I use the word addiction, I mean anything that we are more or less dependent on to feel good. It can be drugs and alcohol, smoking, overeating, shopping, scrolling social media; it can even be relationships.

It’s an escape from our inner world and what we really feel when we are alone.

These quick fixes are just that — a temporary quick fix of happiness and feeling good.

Buying something nice and eating a glutinous meal or smoking that cigarette feels good initially. It’s a burst of pleasure. Maybe it provides a sense of relief or an escape from what you don’t want to feel. Whether it’s emptiness or sadness or pain inside of you. Most of us are running from something.

The exciting feeling of buying a new material possession is usually short-lived. It’s not long before the feeling fades, and you need something else that’s new and shiny to fill the void.

This can be said for anything we use to avoid what we’re feeling.

So how does one get happy and stay happy?

It’s not a one size fits all solution, which is why finding the balance that works for you is of the utmost importance. Balance is going to look different for everyone. We are all at our own stages in life, and it’s essential to keep this in mind.

BALANCE

Now, as much as I like to live a healthy lifestyle, I must admit I still like to go out and get a little intoxicated every now and again. I’m not going to deny that, but if I’m going out often and falling behind on my priorities and to-do lists and my room is a mess, yeah, this does not make me feel my best either.

At the same time, I felt nothing but inner conflict trying to be my best self when quite frankly, I’m just not ready to live like a Buddhist monk yet.

Waking up at the crack of dawn every day, meditating for hours, eating the most plant-based of plant-based foods, and never consuming a toxic substance again. Ummm… yeah, I’m not there yet, and you know what? I’m ok with that. Denying myself of things I still enjoy isn’t fun… and life is supposed to be fun!

It’s practising a healthy balance — a balance that works for me and only me that has helped me achieve a level of inner peace I never imagined. Not restricting myself too much because then I’m denying parts of who I still am, which creates unbalance, yet at the same time, I need some amount of self-discipline.

So what do I do?

I listen to myself and to what I’m feeling.

I do my best to honour my feelings and act accordingly to maintain this constant peace and happiness.

As I grow, things that once made me happy, like partying every weekend, no longer make me happy. Ok, in small doses, but I’m outgrowing my once self-destructive behaviours day by day.

You know these things about yourself too. You know how you feel. Start listening to yourself and have the courage and strength to make adjustments to your behaviour accordingly.

If waking up at 6:30 in the morning makes you miserable, but you’re doing it because all of these self-improvement gurus are preaching it. Stop. Just stop. Wake up whenever the hell you want to wake up, and don’t feel bad about it. Do what makes you feel good as long as what makes you feel good isn’t hurting anyone else (and ideally not yourself).

IDENTIFY BAD HABITS AND KILL THEM

If you are a slave to your bad habits, then say goodbye to lasting happiness unless you literally could not care less about them.

If you love smoking, love to drink, and go out often, if these things make you happy, do them and don’t feel bad about it.

Accept the consequences of your own actions when you’re feeling like shit the night after partying. IF doing these things makes you quite unhappy, but they’re an addiction, well, let me remind you in case you forgot. You are in control of yourself. You have the power to control your body and your mind!

If you can’t help yourself, but want to change, seek help. Get the help you need. The most important thing is wanting to change for the better; if you have that desire, you can do it!

Start cultivating good habits. Set small goals for yourself, be it waking up early or eating healthy more often, exercising a few times a week.

Continuously work at the cultivation of good habits and watch your life begin to change.

Never give up. If you fall off track, pick yourself up. I’ve fallen off track hundreds of times. This is why I now focus on maintaining an achievable balance.

One thing that can benefit every person on this planet is,

MEDITATION

I will repeat this time and time again. If you’ve read my articles, you will know that I’ve talked about this a lot. Meditation is number one on my list for changing one’s life from the inside out.

Overthinking kills. Worrying is toxic. Being short-tempered and angry is literally bad for your health. If you don’t control your mind, how the hell do you expect to have any control over yourself? Your thoughts make or mar you.

Not only does it still your mind, but deep breathing is so good for your body. When’s the last time you took 10 deep breaths? This should be everyone’s daily minimum, and I’m talking absolute minimum. If you’re reading this right now, take a few deep breaths while you read. Deep breathing oxygenates your cells and gives you life.

  • it improves blood flow
  • decreases anxiety
  • helps you sleep better
  • increases energy levels
  • lowers blood pressure

The list goes on, but this is just to name a few benefits.

Take a little time each day to sit in silence and breathe. Do your best to keep your mind still.

What’s something else that everyone can benefit from?

EATING HEALTHY and EXERCISE

Eating high-vibrational whole foods like,

  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • whole grains
  • nuts
  • seeds
  • high-quality protein

Eat to fuel your body. Give your body what it needs to function correctly. This doesn’t mean you can never eat unhealthy foods, but practice moderation and portion control. Practice balance.

Find a form of exercise you love and do it. Beneficial not just to the body but to the mind as well. Even if it’s as simple as going for a long walk.

Both meditation and exercise release endorphins, physically making you feel better!

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND HAPPINESS ONCE AND FOR ALL

We’ve become so dependent on pills and distractions to fix us and to bring us happiness. We need to better ourselves, and it’s time we start doing so. Healing through taking proper care of our bodies, minds and souls.

Now, what you choose to do is up to you. No one can replace your bad habits with good habits but you. No one can change your mindset but you. Don’t deny yourself of all your indulgences all the time; that’s not fun, but practice some self-discipline so that you’re not a slave to the things that hold you down.

Be kind and understanding with yourself along the way.

The old saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” couldn’t be more true.

Have patience.

Take it day by day, you got this.

Resources:

Ken Keyes, Jr., Handbook to Higher Consciousness, Berkeley, California, Living Love Publications, 1975.

Personal Growth
Happiness
Personal Development
Self Improvement
Self-awareness
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