Family Fun

A Poem

Let me explain something, I have fun in ways that most people

might not notice as fun, that might not be overt, or loud, or rowdy, or even smiling —

I have fun in ways that are quiet, and soft, that are next to you, that are next to those

I wish would have fun with me, my way, but who don’t seem to —

who might not connect with me now, yet, maybe ever —

the tension of blending of assimilation of feeling here but not merged, here but not inside —

might always exist, might always haunt, might be a kink forever left unworked out —

and yet, maybe, slowly, piece by piece, the long haul, the life building, the small moments

where I might be briefly seen, where I might be almost let in, where I might be reluctantly selected, half-heartedly chosen,

and yet, cherishing, feeling gifted with the possibility of moment — a moment of come in, come here, we missed you, how’ve you been, come with us -

maybe that will happen, next time, one day, somehow, maybe things will be smoothed over —

maybe things will be less bumpy, maybe things will be made anew normal, I might experience all I have always felt outside of, namely:

family, one of the group, part of the unit, a pillar, an important person,

a member, a member, a member - Who knows, I might be as seamlessly integrated —

we might be all seamlessly integrated — that a welcome mat will no longer be

required, an invite no longer needed, because we will all share the same emotional house,

the same name, the same space, under this banner

called family.

It is for this I pray. It is for this I dream. It is for this, I wait to breathe easily.

Jenny Justice is a poet mom who longs to bring poetry to life in ways that spark empathy, connection, joy, and feeling. She loves writing love poems, climate change awareness poems, poems for kids, and of course, poems about poetry and poets. You can follow her on Medium and at Jenny Justice, Writer. You can follow her poetry at Justice Poetic.