False Equivalencies, Conspiracy Theories and Unfriending in the Era of Trump and COVID-19: An Existential Essay on the American Civil War Part II

With everything that has been going on over the past few months I have found it hard to keep my thoughts organized. This essay aims to serve that purpose while also hopefully allowing me a modicum of catharsis and peace of mind. I was hoping that my serendipitous return to Facebook (not long before the pandemic hit) would help serve this purpose while also keeping me informed and up to date regarding politics and COVID-19, and while it has to a certain extent, it has definitely come at a price.

What 2020 has driven home more than perhaps any other thing is that we have to choose a side. I make this statement despite the fact that it flies in the face of my long held belief that we live in a messy, complicated and nuanced world that requires critical thinking and contextualization over black and white thinking or broad brush “us vs them” ideologies and statements. The reason I am making this exception (maybe you’ve already noticed) is because of what Trump, COVID-19, the majority of the GOP and the vast majority of their supporters (still hanging tough at around 40% of the electorate) represent, namely, death, both literally and figuratively. In the case of the pandemic we can talk about literal death and we can witness the figurative deaths in the form of the death of ethics, virtue, empathy and basic human rights. It recently occurred to me that the more I sought an answer for the following question from Trump/GOP supporters, the more silence seemed to follow. Most of the time not even excuses or deflection, just silence.

“Is it possible to support Donald Trump and his enablers in the GOP without tacitly endorsing racism, sexism, anti-LGBTQ rights, xenophobia and fascism”?

And no, I do not believe that using the term fascism in this context is hyperbole. As a Jew I feel it is especially important that I use that term mindfully in any serious analysis of our current (or any) situation. The fact that no one I know (or, more accurately, knew) who supports Trump had a serious response to this question left me queasy. To not have an answer is to admit to tacit (if not overt) endorsement of all of these things.

This leads me to the first topic of this essay; false equivalencies. I’ll seek to address both Trump and COVID-19 in this section. False equivalencies are the primary reason I have found it so difficult to even begin to enter into serious conversations about Trump or COVID-19/mask wearing (to use two obvious examples) with people whose views differ from mine. What this means in practice is that unless necessary pre-requisites are met for a serious debate, things like respecting scientific evidence, the proper vetting of sources and generally sticking to facts, such conversations are either non-starters or end quickly.

For example, there are not in fact two “correct or valid viewpoints” regarding mask wearing as a means of managing COVID-19. It is therefore next to impossible to engage with someone who seriously believes that wearing a mask makes no difference regarding public health outcomes during a pandemic. In these instances it seems to boil down to life or death, in this case literal death or at best morbidity. Again, not hyperbole, it boils down to choosing to behave in a way that values life or choosing to behave in a way that values death. We have to choose. Only after both parties have chosen life can a meaningful debate around the details of when and where masks should be mandatory ensue.

With regard to Trump, the false equivalencies that show up are legion. Working off of the question I asked earlier, there are not two “equally valid” positions on any of these items. Racism? Only one valid position; anti-racism. Sexism? Only one valid position; anti-sexism. Anti-LGBTQ rights? Only one valid position; supporting LGBTQ rights. Xenophobia? Only one valid position; anti-xenophobia. Fascism? You get the point. We have to choose.

The economy or foreign policy are only valid topics for discussion after the acknowledgment of the truth of all of these positions has been validated. Unfortunately I have been unable to get there with anyone I know who supports Trump.

As for conspiracy theories, this topic relates to false equivalencies in as much as the aforementioned invalid or death oriented positions are often grounded in them. QAnon and the like are organizations that are actively promoting misinformation, ignorance, hatred and death. When reality gets distorted to this level I think it’s fair to say we are dealing with a cult phenomenon manifesting as severe mass mental illness (certain organized religions also fit this bill). Sadly, I have lost (i.e., unfriended if not blocked) too many friends and family (right and left leaning) over the past few years because of conspiracy theories.

So, yeah, about unfriending, in case you haven’t been keeping tabs, I’m a fan. And it is such an interesting phenomenon! I’ve watched ex-Facebook “friends” fly into full blown rages over having been unfriended, in most cases leaving me baffled. It seems to me that if someone has chosen to follow me on Facebook they’d be prepared for the inevitable unfriending once the following conditions had been met: 1. Said individual is not, in fact, a close family member or friend (I give a lot more slack to close friends and family because they’ve earned it) and 2. Said individual rarely if ever interacts with me (no likes, comments on posts, etc.) until the post and subsequent thread of conflict. Coming in hot! I feel like anytime I get an angry message from someone I’ve unfriended I should be cuing up Simply Red’s “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”. Sometimes these unfriended individuals explain to me that in unfriending them I have chosen to “live in a bubble”.

Connecting the dots here, in all likelihood the individuals who have been unfriended are the same folks who have chosen death (pro-Trump/anti-mask) and therefore have a point, I have chosen to live in a bubble; I think of it as the bubble of life. I like my bubble. Maybe this is why I never have regrets after unfriending people. In a less likely (but similar) scenario I might unfriend someone who otherwise exists in the bubble of life, but who due to toxic wokeness (something I have written about before in some depth) or just plain assholishness, I can’t abide.

To illustrate all of this I should speak to a phenomenon antecedent to unfriending that I only recently became aware of, which is apparently more common than I would have guessed. The precursor to some recent unfriending activity has been (unbeknownst to me) a build up of anger and hostility regarding some of my more emphatic and/or opinionated posts (or even on one occasion just posts of me and my wife having fun/chilling out). Apparently these folks weren’t aware of the existence of Facebook’s genius “unfollow” feature and instead chose to rage-watch my page (sometimes for months) in silence only to eventually blow things up. My takeaway from this is that I must be doing something right. Again, if any of these kinds of folks are still out there and paying attention, the unfollow button is your friend!

I’m not sure that I need to elaborate on the Civil War Part II dimension of this essay. Suffice to say that if there is one reason I am grateful for Donald Trump’s existence it is the ways in which his presidency has defined the battle lines of this war in stark relief. I now know without much of a doubt who amongst my family and friends support ignorance, hatred and death. If I have to distance myself from or even lose some of these people forever, such is the cost of war.