Falling In Love Before You’ve Even Met
And then your child is born, the beginning of all future hopes and dreams…
There’s no interview. The position is challenging and fierce. It comes with no salary. It leaves you absolutely exhausted most days, deprives you of sleep, and the freedom you once enjoyed, but you wouldn’t trade it even for free access to the biggest bank in the world.
Welcome to the World of Motherhood, where love begins and ends. Welcome also to the longest and most fulfilling chapter in your life.
‘It might be physically impossible to count the ways a mother expresses her love. Where loving warmth meets a teachable moment, that’s where you’ll find a mother, confidently wielding her superhuman ability to be everything you’ll ever need. With a knack for adapting, she goes from teacher to comforter to selfless giver in a matter of minutes — an awesome thing to witness.’
Real love…
Until the day you first became a mother, you really had no idea of the concept of love, not REAL love! Nor did you appreciate your amazing strength and resilience.
But suddenly, by way of a gift, your whole world is in perspective. It needs no adjustment, for nothing else matters.
My daughter was born by c-section, and I was one of the very few mothers who wake up during surgery. The pain and the helplessness will always be there, secured somewhere in my psyche if I were to focus on it, something I rarely do, but the magic of modern medicine where, some ten minutes later I held this little being in my arms, overrides that.
The miracle of modern medicine is one thing, but the joy of being a mum is what this article is about.
I don’t have to tell you it’s not all beer and skittles. Being more than a full-time job, you often feel exhausted and there are days when you can hardly drag yourself out of bed, days when you feel you need to sleep for a month, days when you want to escape and have things as once they were, days when one more load of washing is one too many…
I don’t have to tell you that the house will become incrementally messier as you add to your brood. There will be no point in putting the vacuum stick away. It now takes pride of place close to the kitchen table, and scattered toys become a new interior design statement.
I don’t have to tell you about the noise, the babble, the crashing and the pandemonium that exists within the bubble that is your home.
I don’t have to tell you that the noise is more reassuring than its antithesis…that atypical hush …where intuitively you know something is going on…something you need to investigate.
Noise has suddenly become a reassuring sound, and you comfort yourself in the knowledge that in these collective moments in time, happy memories are being created.
But I do have to tell you that there will be days when you long to dress up, wear some jewelry and feel beautiful once more.
But that is just in a moment of weakness, because the truth is this.
The most precious jewels you’ll ever hang around your neck, are the arms of your children.
And I do have to prepare you for the relentless gifts you will receive. As your motherhood journey continues, you will unwrap each day, a gift, a gift just for you.
As dawn breaks and you struggle to rise and respond to your new charge, you will be privy to those tiny, but reassuring efforts by your child, to communicate and tell you all manner of things.
There’s magic in those moments.
They don’t need the interpretation of a linguist. It’s language that only a mother and her child understands.
And I reassure you now that, the wonderment of milestones reached will take your breath away.
One day, you gaze, holding your breath, as you watch your child reach out tentatively to touch something colourful, pull back, and try again, and again, eventually to succeed.
In that moment a veritable milestone has been reached. A moment in history. Your child now knows exactly what to do.
There are so many emotions in being a mum. One day everything is so hard, another day by contrast, seems incredibly wonderful.
And then there are the ordinary days in between. But they are all part of the jigsaw of raising your children.
The most important goal in being a mother is not to raise the perfect children, or most successful business people, the best musicians, or the most popular class members. Nor is it about being the perfect mother. What is vital is to:
- lead by example
- be there when needed
- promote self-esteem
- allow children to learn from their mistakes
- demonstrate how to care
- have fun
- love unconditionally
Above all a good mother should seek to raise children who are ethically responsible, ones that stand head and shoulders above the crowd when difficult decisions have to be made and the stakes are challenging, children that you would be proud to know.
“I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is.” —






