Failure Reframed
By taking time to reflect, you can learn from your failures.
Have you ever failed? I have. Maybe you made a mistake at work or said something that you shouldn’t have. Perhaps you gave up on a relationship because things got too hard.
Whatever the failure, it’s important to know that your failures don’t define you.
A hard lesson to learn.
When I started teaching 2nd grade, I knew immediately it wasn’t for me. I was a middle school teacher through and through.
By the end of the first month, I was meeting regularly with a teaching coach about classroom management and planning.
What had happened? I loved teaching. I never had any trouble with middle schoolers. How could 2nd graders be so different?
On one exceptionally stressful occasion, the teaching coach’s words set the momentum for a 4-year downward spiral.
“Some people just aren’t meant to teach.”
I was broken. I was tired. I was disappointed in myself. How could I be failing at something I had such a passion for?
Four years later, I decided to resign. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I knew it was time to move on. But that didn’t make me feel any better about the decision.
One thought kept poking at me like a child wanting attention.
I had failed.
It’s been five years since my resignation. Through reflection and prayer, I learned a few things.
- God had a different plan for me.
- I can’t possibly excel at everything, and that’s okay.
- It’s fine to move on if something doesn’t work out.
- Failure forces us to reflect and learn.
Romans 8:28 says “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
To me, this means that even when we fail, God uses those failures for his purpose. He takes our mistakes and transforms them into valuable lessons.
Failing is not forever.
We can be so hard on ourselves, can’t we? Our attitudes can make mistakes seem much worse than they actually are. Alternately, our attitudes can make things better!
Think about it. You just tripped on a raised sidewalk in front of a group of people. You can either shuffle away and worry about how clutzy you are and how everyone is probably still laughing at you, or you can laugh and take a bow…and move on.
It’s your choice.
Take a look at these failures from my life and how I mentally reframed them, changing my attitude and beliefs.
- Failure: quitting or giving up, reframed: door opening to a new path.
- Failure: losing, Reframed: a learning experience.
- Failure: relapse, reframed: a lesson not yet learned.
- Failure: being fired, reframed: a fresh start.
- Failure: making a mistake, reframed: a message that you need to relearn something or slow down.
- Failure: an accident, reframed: a reminder to be more diligent and pay better attention.
- Failure: debt, reframed: an opportunity to work on your decision-making skills.
No matter what the failure, there is always a way to think about it in a positive light.
Some people even use the term “fail forward” to remind them to view each failure as a lesson meant to help them grow.
Recap
We have all failed.
There is a negative way and there is a positive way to look at failure.
The negative way leaves you thinking poorly about yourself. It leaves you embarrassed and depressed.
The positive way helps you reflect on your failures and learn from them. You are left with hope.
No one is perfect. When you find that you have failed, apologize, repent, reflect, and move on.
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