Facing The Fearsome

Summary

The web content discusses the nature of anger, suggesting that while uncontrolled anger can be destructive, properly channeled, it can be a catalyst for positive change, self-awareness, and growth.

Abstract

The article "Facing The Fearsome" delves into the complexities of anger, describing it as a powerful and consuming force that demands acknowledgment. It challenges the common advice to "forgive and forget," advocating instead for understanding and learning from the emotion. The author argues that anger, when managed with introspection and patience, can lead to constructive outcomes such as motivating change, addressing deep-seated fears, setting healthy boundaries, and fostering empathy. Techniques like taking a pause, physical activity, and meditation are recommended as ways to transform anger into a productive force rather than allowing it to lead to rash actions.

Opinions

Anger should not be dismissed or suppressed but acknowledged and understood.
Exploding in anger without reflection is counterproductive and can lead to regretful actions.
Anger can be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed, such as fears or injustices.
The emotion of anger can be a driving force for personal growth and change when harnessed effectively.
Establishing healthy boundaries and communicating needs can be facilitated by recognizing and expressing anger appropriately.
Engaging in activities like walking, biking, journaling, or meditation can help process anger constructively.
Anger, when properly addressed, can enhance self-awareness and empathy for others.

ANGER

My husband and I used to have this saying to help us, “Anger makes you stupid.” But we were only partially correct, you see.

Not taking a breath when you are angry and just exploding upon everyone and everything in one’s sight is certainly not the answer. I can’t recommend that. It does make one stupid because it doesn’t give you time to look deeper. Meanwhile, all everyone sees around you is the aftermath of words you may not have meant. When the volcano erupts, everything is usually burned that’s in its path.

So what do we do when we are over-the-top pissed off?!

Don’t ignore the feeling of being angry. Yet you need not blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, like a spoiled child that can’t abide by not having everything it wants.

I often take a breath and find a space, whenever that is possible. Anger is not the thing that is making us stupid. It’s the immediate reaction that is doing that.

I often hear others advising us to forgive and forget. I’m not a big fan of that. If we haven’t worked through something that makes us mad, we haven’t learned a thing from it. It will just keep popping up again in another format.

Anger can often have some good effects. Am I crazy for admitting this? Perhaps. Yet let’s think about it.

When you are angry instead of feeling victimized, it’s one step above being stuck in that place. If we can step back, it can turn our anger into a positive emotion.

Anger can become a fuel for change. It can motivate us to action. Are you noticing an injustice or unfairness? Does it inspire you and others to take steps for a change?

Anger can force us to face problems we’d rather ignore. For example, if a loved one is having a medical challenge, and we are angry then we can use this emotion to see what we are really afraid of. Are we afraid of being alone? Are we afraid we don’t have the resources to handle it? Are we feeling vulnerable? Must we face our own mortality? Once we dig a little deeper, we can start addressing the real problem.

Anger can also help us with boundaries. It can help us to choose healthy boundaries. We are able to then communicate those needs to others.

Anger can be the stimulus to see unhealthy situations. What needs to be changed in our relationships and our lives?

Anger makes us more aware of ourselves and others and thereby, we can develop new perspectives which may foster empathy. It can offer us personal growth. It can help us to reflect inward.

I often have to step back and find another way to deal with anger other than just bursting out when it happens. I can find other ways to cope like taking the dog for a walk or talking to a close friend or family member. Ride a bike. This releases some of the built-up energy anger brings and helps me focus it in a way that is productive. Journaling and meditation are also positive ways to work through, rather than deny, our anger.

Anger isn’t our enemy. Once addressed, it loses its power and becomes a helpful tool for self-awareness.

Facing anger helps to put it into perspective. (image by Jody Wright using Bing’s AI Image Creator tool)

The angry inner war

ANGER