Facing Limitations — a Dance of Imagination and Commitment

Who’s in charge, me, or my limiting habits and beliefs?

The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment.” ~Tony Robbins

There are limits on our time and limits on our beliefs.

If Mr. Robbins means that commitment can help us overcome limitations, I now have the opposite problem. I commit and commit, wondering why I’m so tired!

I can’t do six more things when I’m doing twenty-six already. Duh! Yet each one on its own may be entirely do-able.

But when added to the pile that’s kissing the ceiling and falling over on top of me, ouch! I’m getting buried alive in my commitments. No wonder I’m overwhelmed.

Is my over-commitment limiting my impact?

This is where I get to ask — and this a great time of year to do this — what are my current commitments, and are they (still) the right ones?

I have a habit of taking more and more on without letting anything go. Why is it hard to say no and set some healthy boundaries with my time?

At my church, I keep adding responsibilities rather than shifting them. If I get on the Board of Directors, doesn’t it make sense to release another area of involvement? Especially if I’m the president?

And yet those areas of service, planning worship, and prayer chaplaincy serve me as well as others. They nourish my soul — creativity as well as spiritually. Being on the Board does too, but turns out to be a much bigger commitment with more responsibilities — especially as President.

My term of office ends in February. Part of the reason I am writing this article is to start my campaign now. Not my re-election campaign. I’ve already served two terms.

My campaign to NOT run again.

I need to hire a campaign manager. To make me relinquish the reins. We can let someone else have the opportunity to serve.

It’s a mental battle. It must rage in my sleep as I often have the sensation of waking up in the middle of a heated debate. I were to write it as a play, it might read something like this:

As much as I’ve grown through this service, it’s quite demanding. I long for more time to focus on my passions — creating worship and prayer, as well as getting my books finished and published.

Yeah, but what if no one steps forward?

As long as I keep doing it, there’s no need for someone to step forward. I could be creating a great opportunity for someone far better suited to step up.

But they need me! I can’t abandon my friends who will be carrying on. It’s not fair to them.

Oh, so you're irreplaceable, is that it? Are you forgetting that we, the community, can use spiritual tools to guide and direct us? Of course, you’re praying about this, right? Besides, it’s not just up to you; it’s up to everyone involved, including God…

What If I run for the Board again, but just not serve as the president? That way I can help without the full monty of responsibility.

As I become fully awake and start my day, I remember why I choose to serve. It’s about the people I love and watching all of our lives transform as we apply spiritual principles to them.

That still doesn’t address how much is on my plate, but it helps me know why I keep doing this. So the distinction might be — limits are how I hamper my possibilities.

Realistic commitments and boundaries are how I honor myself, my community, and my time.

Let me be so clear about my priorities — my creative passions — writing and clowning— as well as my spiritual passions — worship and prayer — that I fully commit to them. Once that’s clear, the challenge becomes setting healthy boundaries around them.

It makes sense to let folks know what I’m thinking, sooner rather than later. True friends should be able to respect this.

Let me use all my spiritual tools to support me and my priorities, as well as the church community and its leadership needs. Both/and is a win-win.

Arguing for Limitations

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours. ~Richard Bach

Have you ever been around someone arguing for their limitations?

No matter how many ideas, encouragements or reframes you offer, they dig deeper into all the reasons none of that will work and why theirs is a uniquely exceptional case.

You’re sitting there thinking of ten people who have done a lot more with a lot less than your friend has, but none of that matters. They have bought into their limitations, real, imagined, or both. And they are stuck.

I could use this as an excuse to pull away. Instead, I’m using it to ask myself, where am I stuck?

What limitations do I argue for?

Who me? Limitations?! I’m the uber-responsible one, right?

But here’s the deal: I could never live in Albuquerque, where my sister lives, or San Miquel de Allende, one of the places I adore because I can’t tolerate high altitudes. I get short of breath, and my heart can’t hack it.

Or so I tell myself.

My doctor is not nearly as concerned as I am. I passed all the tests she gave me. And interestingly, not that long ago, I spent a weekend in Denver and not once got short of breath.

Even though Denver is known as the mile-high city and my traveling companion went to the Mile-High Church while we were there, I wasn’t focused on the altitude.

I did not travel with a mind set like a steel trap waiting for it to happen the way I do when I go to New Mexico. And yet, the condition is very real. Or so I believe.

I tend to avoid rather than explore.

Staying home, staying safe rather than ask — Is this real? If so, what can I do about it? Are there breathing or strengthening exercises I can do that will help? No doubt drinking more water will help. As well as monitoring my self-talk and beliefs?

Let me remember, there’s no harm or shame in asking for help. Last year, I traveled to England to visit friends and family. I only had difficulty one time that I remember. I was with my dear friend and fellow writer, @Marla Bishop.

I got short of breath (SOB) as we dashed for a ride-share to make a curtain in the West End. When I told her what was happening, she grabbed my elbow and whisked me to the waiting car like it was nothing. Thank you, Marla!

It’s good practice this asking for help. I should do it more often.

Some Final Thoughts and questions

As the year winds down, I go into self-reflection mode. Here are questions I’ll be asking myself — and that you can ask yourself:

— What am I ready to commit to body, heart, and soul, because that is where my passion is. What is my one big focus for 2021?

— What are my priorities? Are they my current priorities, or do I list them out of a sense of obligation and/or habit?

— Where am I limiting myself by out-moded beliefs, fear, and doubt? How will I release them so I can move forward on the intentions singing to my heart?

— Where can I get the information and resources to help me breakthrough where I’m stuck. Who can I count on for support? Who can I trust to give me realistic tough loving feedback?

As I go to bed tonight, my prayer will be for clarity, courage, and compassion for all of us. And the time to turn inward, listening to our hearts for answers.

Marilyn Flower writes political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, where she writes about faith and prayer. Five of her short plays have been produced in San Francisco. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!