FACEBOOK’S META PROBLEM

Facebook to Drop Meta Plan and Become Wordle Leaderboard Instead

Words become the hottest thing since — words

“Fuck it!” said CEO Mark Zuckerberg. “Everyone is just posting these colored squares and we are getting more traffic than ever!”

After years of struggling to find what kind of identity it wants, Facebook has settled on becoming the premier spot for Wordle leaderboards. After previous failed attempts as being a misinformation hub, a right-wing conspiracy station, a gaming livestream service, VR metaverse, hot chick ranking system, and a good thing, it seems to have found its niche with the viral word game.

Wordle, a game similar to Mastermind, has become more infectious than COVID itself with entire timelines becoming a list of green, yellow, and black emoji boxes. Never before have these emojis felt so popular and the regular celebrities are feeling the burn. Poop emoji is truly devastated and has gone into hiding after a relapse.

Billionaire human look-a-like Zuckerberg has said of the phenomenon, “It’s incredible! We don’t have to do anything anymore. Users just play this little game and post their scores. They are all interacting with each other over these simple boxes while scrolling by all the ads we put up. It’s like automation at its finest.” He then gave a hearty thumbs up and a wink.

Since the announcement Facebook stock has generated new excitement, rising 5% in a day. Anything seems possible now with the power of simple word game competitions. Players cannot seem to get enough of it. One user stated, “This is my daily therapy!” Another said, “This is all I have left to look forward to in this abysmal time.”

What will become of this new idea? Will Facebook find wider success than previous attempts? Stay tuned as we find out together.

Words by Ryan Glenn. I mostly write parenting and political things, but try to find time for humor periodically.