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happened. I was referred to as off my rocker, egotistical, and a myriad of other slashing insults. It was ironic. I thought an intelligent discussion could commence being the name of the group was about reasoning.I have been so upset by this behavior in the past that I deleted my 800 “friends” and just kept Facebook as a point of connection for groups.<h2 id="ba7a">Nobody listens to anyone, but everyone wants to be heard.</h2>Today it dawned on me that the core of these issues is a lack of emotional intelligence. I do not exclude myself from this. We all have room to grow.<figure id="8442"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*31KOS-VxnpusqKQ7-fQX6A.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@karlavidal?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Karla Vidal</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/lightbulb?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><a href="https://www.davidsimonsen.net/?fbclid=IwAR1GyWHa1l0SvzoVN1vAo0XCzbFnJi3bjw2nYYKuXmG6PWcVj26htFEj3IE">Dr. David Simonsen</a>, a licensed marriage and family therapist compiled this list on emotional intelligence that was very timely and insightful.He said that the characteristics of a lack of emotional intelligence are:-Lack of empathy-disregard for the emotions of others-insensitive behavior-blaming-making assumptions-unwillingness to reflect on your feelings-the need to be rightWhew, I feel like I just listed off the bio of F

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acebook discussion groups. There has to be a better way.He also shared a list of characteristics of emotional intelligence shown here:-flexibility-expressing oneself respectfully-ability to listen well-pausing and considering-recognizing the benefit of criticism-demonstration of empathy-apologizing-ability to regulate emotionsDoesn't that sound like a recipe for fruitful discussion? Why must social media users, hidden behind computer screens, appeal to their lowest nature during a debate?Wouldn’t it be a helpful reminder to us all if we took that list above and taped it to the side of our computer when we log into Facebook?<figure id="d729"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*VAcMvrVg33rxsE8mkNdqTg.jpeg"><figcaption>Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/geralt-9301/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=3233653">Gerd Altmann</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=3233653">Pixabay</a></figcaption></figure>Social media is not going anywhere. It is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future. This technology was thrust into our hands as adults and we failed miserably at using it. Maybe we can change that. Perhaps we can be proactive and intentional with this platform and use it in a way that both sides leave feeling heard. Perhaps we can leave better precedence for our children of how to be a respectful human on social media.</article></body>

Facebook, the Place Where Reason Dies

Can we set better precedence for our children?

I am sure you have been accused of something and called names on social media. If you disagree with something, you are refuted with the ad hominem argument, You drank the Kool-Aid!, Sheep!, Okay Karen!, or Do your research! If you haven’t, you must be one of those rare breeds of humans where you don’t share your thoughts on the platform.

I feel like I am watching Back to the Future, and everyone in the argument is Biff, the bully who is all brawns and no brain.

Just yesterday, I joined a group on Facebook about reasoning. I shared one of my articles from Medium, thinking we could reason about it. Quite the opposite happened. I was referred to as off my rocker, egotistical, and a myriad of other slashing insults. It was ironic. I thought an intelligent discussion could commence being the name of the group was about reasoning.

I have been so upset by this behavior in the past that I deleted my 800 “friends” and just kept Facebook as a point of connection for groups.

Nobody listens to anyone, but everyone wants to be heard.

Today it dawned on me that the core of these issues is a lack of emotional intelligence. I do not exclude myself from this. We all have room to grow.

Dr. David Simonsen, a licensed marriage and family therapist compiled this list on emotional intelligence that was very timely and insightful.

He said that the characteristics of a lack of emotional intelligence are:

-Lack of empathy

-disregard for the emotions of others

-insensitive behavior

-blaming

-making assumptions

-unwillingness to reflect on your feelings

-the need to be right

Whew, I feel like I just listed off the bio of Facebook discussion groups. There has to be a better way.

He also shared a list of characteristics of emotional intelligence shown here:

-flexibility

-expressing oneself respectfully

-ability to listen well

-pausing and considering

-recognizing the benefit of criticism

-demonstration of empathy

-apologizing

-ability to regulate emotions

Doesn't that sound like a recipe for fruitful discussion? Why must social media users, hidden behind computer screens, appeal to their lowest nature during a debate?

Wouldn’t it be a helpful reminder to us all if we took that list above and taped it to the side of our computer when we log into Facebook?

Social media is not going anywhere. It is here to stay, at least for the foreseeable future. This technology was thrust into our hands as adults and we failed miserably at using it. Maybe we can change that. Perhaps we can be proactive and intentional with this platform and use it in a way that both sides leave feeling heard. Perhaps we can leave better precedence for our children of how to be a respectful human on social media.