Facebook Memories Are Killing Me Softly

I cringe, therefore I am.

Ah, social media. A platform for unheard voices to be heard. A fine thing, truly. A shrine to immortalize our words and actions. Too bad I never thought of that as a 13-year-old posting about every single neurotransmission in his brain.

A while back I activated Facebook Memories. If you’re unfamiliar, this feature notifies you of your old Facebook posts on the anniversary of their appearance.

Since then, I’ve been getting a steady stream of memories almost daily. Some, welcome and nostalgic, others a painful reminder of the uncultured little shit I used to be and that some voices are really better left unheard.

“Honey, have you seen my skeleton? It’s not in the closet.”

Every time I get that notification that says, “You have memories to look back on today,” I have to hold my breath. There’s a direct positive correlation between how old a memory is and how cringe-inducing it will be.

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that some things are better off left buried in the annals of Facebook history.

But no, good old Facebook is here to constantly remind us that the internet never forgets. And to give us a lesson in humility while it’s at it.

Between that and my loving younger brother annually re-posting the ugliest picture ever taken of me with the caption,

Never forget where you came from…

I feel like I’m immune to blackmail; do your worst, it’s all on Facebook already.

But aside from the cyber sibling abuse, I don’t disown my past statements on Facebook, although I’m not proud of them. I was young, I wore my heart on my sleeve, and I spoke my mind — to be fair, there was little “mind” involved.

And, either way, you gotta accept what you can’t change. It’s not like there’s a wipe-slate-clean button to delete all your old posts. And even if there was, I still wouldn’t click it. Our digital footprints are just an extension of the people we were at any point in time.

But just to be sure, there definitely isn’t a wipe-slate-clean button, right?

A Case for Compassion

One thing these memories definitely do, is make me think twice before judging others. In all honesty, looking back, I think very little of the person I was when I wrote these posts. If it weren’t for the fact that I am living that person’s future, I would never have thought it possible for him to grow up to be anything but a closed-minded, insensitive, and, frankly, hurtful human being.

I’m thankful certain events took place in my life that allowed me, perhaps even forced me, to become someone different. And for the most part, I think it’s a good different.

I see others today whose actions remind me of my own, “back in the day”. And I have to catch myself before internally firing out my prejudices. I remind myself:

You were not so very different from a hobbit once, were you…Smeagol?

Um, no that can’t be right.

I remind myself that I used to be not much different from them. That if anyone’s to judge or criticize them for those flaws, it most definitely shouldn’t be me.

It’s easy to judge someone until you’ve walked in their shoes.

And this gets me thinking about all the shoes there are out there and how many of them I haven’t walked in, and probably never will.

How often am I unknowingly, unjustly judgemental, I wonder.

How often do I denounce others for doing or saying things because of circumstances I’ve never personally experienced? Things that are done within bigger contexts that I, perhaps, can never fully appreciate or understand.

I’m most perceptive of my judgment of others when it’s for flaws that I share with them. It’s then when I’m able to stop myself and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Funnily enough, part of the reason I’m willing to do that, is because to condemn them would be to condemn myself. Somewhat ironic for the urge to be more empathetic to stem partly from self-centered motives. But then again, maybe that’s not such a bad thing.

The Cringe Is Real — Embrace It

In a way, it’s a comforting feeling.

If anything, it’s a testament to how much we’ve changed. To the new opinions we’ve developed and the perspectives we’ve gained. To how our outlooks have matured.

Otherwise, we wouldn’t be so embarrassed by those old posts.

Every now and then when we look back and feel like we want the earth to swallow us whole, it’s a sign that we’ve grown. That we haven’t been idle.

So embrace it. And keep those cringe-worthy posts coming — unless you plan on going into politics.