Other Things That Should Be Struck Down Instead of Student Loan Forgiveness

The audacity.

1. Job postings that don’t have a salary listed

2. Grocery stores that don’t have a discount cheese bin

3. Applying to that job posting anyway because you’re desperate

4. Barefoot Moscato

5. Interviewing for that job and finding out the role is listed as a senior position, but they’re only willing to pay you an entry level salary

6. Breweries that only have IPAs

7. Being forced to take that job because you need to pay rent even though they’re grossly underpaying you

8. Charging for alternative milks

9. Working at that job that is not only underpaying you, but also making you come into the office three days a week so you can sit in a cubicle alone and take all your meetings over Zoom while your VP works remotely

10. Low-rise pants

11. Having to take a second job because your full-time job doesn’t pay you enough and your student loan payments start again in December

12. Mid-rise pants

13. Picking up a side hustle because your second job’s paycheck has to go directly to your student loans and your first job’s paycheck has to go to your bills, so you need some money to eat

14. Any pants that aren’t high-rise

15. Having a mental breakdown from sleep deprivation because you have three jobs, but not being able to afford treatment since none of your jobs provide adequate health insurance

16. Cottage cheese

17. Going back to just one job because you can’t afford another breakdown and hoping you have enough money to eat, pay rent, and make loan payments

18. Breadcrumbs on mac and cheese

19. Being told you’ll get necessary financial relief and then having it ripped away from you

Emily Knapp (she/her) is a queer/NBi/neurodivergent/Colorado-based writer, comedian, ski junkie, and soup enthusiast. Her stuff can be found on emilyknappwriter.com. You can find her in the mountains.