Do you like doing difficult things?

My son is seven years old. He hasn’t yet forgotten how to ask great questions. Last week, as we were sitting in traffic, he let rip with: “Dad, do you like doing difficult things?” I immediately recognized this as the “teachable moment” for the day and said yes. (For the record, I really admire people who do difficult things. I believe many of them make the world a better place).

I wasn’t lying. Difficult things are part of my daily life. I get up really early. Spend time in prayer and meditation. I train and lift heavy objects, all before going to work where I get to consult, coach and solve problems. It really is a good life.

But I also struggle with things that, from the outside, shouldn’t be difficult to deal with at all. I get distracted, get upset, get stuck, waste time, just like the rest of you. And tomorrow I get to do it all over again.

My son’s question reminded me of the importance of habits and how they run our lives without us even noticing. Doing the difficult things often has to do with changing these small routines that make up life. Small changes, huge impacts.

As a performance coach (and a living being) I know how tough it can be to make even the smallest adjustments. Water likes to flow where it always has. As a result, we are so very good at convincing ourselves that hard things are impossible to do.

It brings me back to the question and how I answered it. Am I really someone who likes doing difficult things? And if not, can I become such a person?

I believe the answer lies in where we start. Do I really believe that I am capable of change? Do you believe that you are capable of changing for the better? Do you really?

It sounds simple. Overly simplistic. Even stupid. But change will not happen until I have convinced myself, until you have convinced yourself, that we have it in us to make a change. Only then can we start to move in the direction of being the people we were truly meant to be. People capable of doing difficult things.