Summary

The author reflects on personal growth and the realization that past relationships cannot be a blueprint for future ones, emphasizing the importance of moving forward without the baggage of the past.

Abstract

The article "Eyes on the Horizon" delves into the author's introspection about the nature of romantic relationships. Having never witnessed a healthy relationship model, the author acknowledges that their past relationships, including marriage, were stuck in the infatuation phase and never evolved. The author admits to previously idealizing past partners and hoping to find a composite of their best traits in new relationships, a practice they now view as futile. Drawing a metaphor from the movie Terminator, the author asserts that just as dead things cannot travel through time, past relationships cannot be brought into the present. The author finds inspiration in the phrase "eyes on the horizon" from a fitness trainer, symbolizing the forward-looking perspective they now embrace. The future relationship is envisioned as something entirely new and unimaginable, not bound by the patterns of the past. The author concludes that the only thing one can bring from past relationships into the future is the realization itself, which is a gift. The article ends with a quote from Dave Grohl's memoir and the author's musings on divine collaboration in life's journey.

Opinions

Past relationships should not be idealized or used as a template for future ones.
Romanticizing and dwelling on what could have been in past relationships is a waste of time.
Attempting to combine the best traits of past partners into an ideal future partner is compared to creating a "Frankenstein lover" and is seen as impractical.
The author believes that new beginnings should be free from the constraints of past failures, much like the characters in the Terminator who arrive naked after time travel.
The phrase "eyes on the horizon" is used as a metaphor for hope and the importance of focusing on the future rather than the past.
The author anticipates a future relationship that is unlike anything experienced before, transcending past memories and patterns.
The realization that nothing material should be carried over from past relationships is considered a valuable lesson and a present in itself.
The author expresses a belief in divine involvement in their life's journey, suggesting that God is a collaborator in their experiences.

Eyes on the Horizon

As the world in my rearview slowly fades into oblivion.

I had a realization about my idea and experiences of romantic relationships. For most of my life, I’ve never even seen a healthy and thriving relationship. My relationships, including my marriage, never made it past the infatuation stage. That is the hopeful stage that everyone tries to sell the best versions of themselves, but it’s the equivalent of getting comfortable viewing Autumn leaves every day.

It doesn’t last.

I used to romanticize past relationships. Daydreaming about what could’ve been and never will be. That’s a waste of my precious time. I’ve tried to highlight the best of my exes and old flames thinking that I could bottle up a part of their personalities and take them with me. I hoped my new love would have some of the best characteristics from each one of them.

I wonder why past dwellers create these Frankenstein lovers in our minds?

Logically thinking why would something new work if you bring something old with you that didn’t work? It makes me look at the movie Terminator with different eyes now. When they time traveled they came through the other side naked.

I remember one of the characters said nothing dead can come through.

That scene gives my life a whole new meaning. Yes, my life lessons helped me to become a better person but you still can’t come with me.

Past lover, you can not come with me.

I have to let you go because dead things can’t come with me on this ride into the future. The title eyes on the horizon come from an online trainer that I work out with. Her verbal instructional video is a run and walking exercise.

I do the workout on my rooftop usually to a sunrise or a moonrise illuminating the morning or evening clouds. Every time the trainer says “ eye’s on the horizon” I feel so hopeful and inspired. I look beyond my current situation while I’m running in place. Forward is a majestic sky and behind me is my house. A house that I lived in when I was married. Think about that. I believe that my new relationship will look like nothing that I’ve ever experienced.

She won’t be a leaf that will descend to the earth in Autumn.

She’ll be a root that thrives in good soil planted by the living water.

I can’t even imagine her because I shouldn’t be able to. She transcends memories that are buried in cold cemeteries. There is no prototype or blueprint for her. That’s the conclusion I’ve come to.

So what did I learn or can bring from past relationships into the future?

Nothing. That revelation is a present.

Every day is blank page Dave Grohl From his NY best selling memoir

The Storyteller

Finally, I believe God is my favorite artist and collaborator. I had the perfect picture set aside for this article months ago and I couldn’t find it. I gave up and stumbled upon another in my collection.

I titled it eyes on the horizon of course. It looks like the sun is the iris that’s on the horizon surrounded by clouds as the eyelids. I mean can you get any better than that?