avatarSuzy Hazelwood

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photo recurring in my searches I realised it was likely no one was going to buy it. Probably for the same reason I hadn’t bought the photo… it was too sad to look at. And why did I find it sad? Because it reminded me of myself at a similar age suffering a chronic illness, my young life totally wrecked, feeling I had no future.</p><p id="ff1f">At age fifty two, I really didn’t want to acknowledge, be reminded of the extent of how dark that time was for me. I didn’t want to see it in ‘her eyes’… all the fear, anxiety and the feeling of mental and physical imprisonment by a failing body.</p><p id="982b">It bothered me I was not wanting to acknowledge suffering. Usually, I’m not one for avoidance, so I downloaded a copy of the image, looked at it enlarged on my PC screen and found myself crying a bucket of tears for what I saw in her face and also my own memories. I had no idea until that moment how much that time was still affecting me. But those tears weren’t a bad thing because mentally I was left feeling lighter, as if something heavy had flown from my mind. And yes… I bought the picture!</p><p id="2471">Of course, in reality, I don’t truly know if the young woman in the p

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icture was suffering illness, but her body looks weak and thin and she is lifelessly sitting in a deck chair but not on a beach… not something I’ve ever seen in an old Edwardian portrait before. But it’s her facial expression and the far away look in her eyes that conveys much more. We can’t hide suffering, it often shows in our eyes.</p><p id="11cb">It is strange how a picture taken so many years ago can turn out to have a positive healing effect in the future. I’m grateful to the young woman and the photographer who took this image, and I’m left wondering… what happened to her? Was she lucky like me, did she find a way out of suffering, have peace and better days?</p><p id="c23e">Old photographs are strange sometimes and well worth buying! I’d be interested to know what you see when you look at this portrait, or if like me you have experienced a similar reaction to a vintage photo.</p><p id="63d0">If you would like to see more vintage photos from my personal collection, you can find them <a href="https://www.pexels.com/collections/vintage-found-photos-9466b8k/">here</a>. All vintage found photos or my own photography on my Pexels page are free to use.</p></article></body>

Eyes

Acknowledging suffering

Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels

eyes always show if there is wellness or not how the soul flounders on an island nobody talks of

somewhere between old and new past and future the living and deceased

a hope of peace and better days

Why this vintage photograph inspired poetry.

In recent years I have become a collector of vintage photographs. Each time I did a search on Ebay for old photos this portrait kept appearing. There was something about it drew me repeatedly to look, but then I would change my mind on purchasing it.

After some months of this photo recurring in my searches I realised it was likely no one was going to buy it. Probably for the same reason I hadn’t bought the photo… it was too sad to look at. And why did I find it sad? Because it reminded me of myself at a similar age suffering a chronic illness, my young life totally wrecked, feeling I had no future.

At age fifty two, I really didn’t want to acknowledge, be reminded of the extent of how dark that time was for me. I didn’t want to see it in ‘her eyes’… all the fear, anxiety and the feeling of mental and physical imprisonment by a failing body.

It bothered me I was not wanting to acknowledge suffering. Usually, I’m not one for avoidance, so I downloaded a copy of the image, looked at it enlarged on my PC screen and found myself crying a bucket of tears for what I saw in her face and also my own memories. I had no idea until that moment how much that time was still affecting me. But those tears weren’t a bad thing because mentally I was left feeling lighter, as if something heavy had flown from my mind. And yes… I bought the picture!

Of course, in reality, I don’t truly know if the young woman in the picture was suffering illness, but her body looks weak and thin and she is lifelessly sitting in a deck chair but not on a beach… not something I’ve ever seen in an old Edwardian portrait before. But it’s her facial expression and the far away look in her eyes that conveys much more. We can’t hide suffering, it often shows in our eyes.

It is strange how a picture taken so many years ago can turn out to have a positive healing effect in the future. I’m grateful to the young woman and the photographer who took this image, and I’m left wondering… what happened to her? Was she lucky like me, did she find a way out of suffering, have peace and better days?

Old photographs are strange sometimes and well worth buying! I’d be interested to know what you see when you look at this portrait, or if like me you have experienced a similar reaction to a vintage photo.

If you would like to see more vintage photos from my personal collection, you can find them here. All vintage found photos or my own photography on my Pexels page are free to use.

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