Expression Through Publishing

Life’s greatest lessons shown through words

I am coming up close to my 600th publication of articles and stories. It was a little over three years ago where my life as a writer truly exploded, and in that time, I have been able to build a complex, multi layered, prolific library of work. I have kept the focus on subject matter that follows my trial, tribulations and insight. Much of which presents a giant look at my life experiences dealing with drug addiction, depression, anxiety, and all other forms of serious mental health issues. Struggles I have suffered with, for a long time.

While those diagnoses may seem very unfortunate, they actually sometimes show themselves as blessings in disguise. Because all that pain has opened up a whole new look at life, both mine, and the lives of others.

I see things with a perspective that only suffering could really allow to happen. In a perfect world, we often walk through our lives half blinded. But when debilitating mental illness comes and attacks us, the only way we can overcome it, is to get a grip on life, that covers every angle, where reality, acceptance, and honesty are the keys to finding healing, when so many days have been full of hurt and sorrow.

Writing has been able to make me see that in many ways, I was a stranger to myself, when I was younger. Mental illness likely developed and progressed very slowly over a long period of time. Even when it was small, it was hitting my daily living, and my emotional process subtly. But since it was something toxic and difficult for my mental maturity, even a presence that was subtle was still enough to alter the life I was living. Starting off slight, but growing and multiplying as the years went on. I was not at a good level of awareness, so many traits went ignored. My behaviour showed that truth. However, at the beginning I wasn’t sure why I acted and lived the way I did.

Being an author has offered me the best mirror to look into everyday. But, that only works well, when total transparency is shown the minute the first words are written. Honesty that doesn’t only fit the readers and friends, but it has to be done on the inside too. Self honesty is the most difficult, yet the most important honesty that we can find expression with.

I chose a self made policy of “nonfiction” only, and I have come from underneath to write the words, that my thoughts and emotions are processing. It’s all real, and it goes uncensored.

Writing has always attracted me, however there were a million times I tried it in the past, and it just never seemed to stick. It is almost as if I had to go through personal tragedy before I could really lend my words to the world. I began to see that there was a good reason why many professionals recommend journaling, as part of treatment in addiction and mental illness recovery. Writing is a true, and healthy gateway to learning who I really am.

Being an author has given me the ability to finally acknowledge and accept the emotions and feelings I was always going through. Because it was then that it became harder to ignore the traffic in my mind. When faced with the words of myself, I am able to see it live and in color. Once it’s written, it then exists forever. Finally, breaking free from being a prisoner to my brain.

As a good friend reminded me, he said “the more you write, the more there is for people to read.” It was such a simple, yet still powerful statement. One that proves true, every single day.

MICHAEL PATANELLA, Author, Editor, Publisher