Expat’s Wife Dilemma (Part 2)
Her husband left her stranded in a foreign country’s airport — Faith’s comeback story after twenty-nine years.
Asa left his wife, Faith, a mother of four children, stranded in a foreign country airport. Expat’s Wife dilemma.
And, what next?
Read part 1 here.
Asa’s work visa was extended to his wife and mother. Nevertheless, Faith decided to stay in Nigeria with their four children because the contract was for five years. It was the best decision as the children were young, and their extended family at that time lived there.
The family flew to Lagos to see Asa off at the airport. The children were devastated, and Asa’s mother’s last words before he departed were, “Please remember you have a wife and young children here. I believe in you and your character.”
Asa was at most five feet nine, medium build, and quiet. While his wife, Faith, was plump with a rounded nose and brown eyes. They have different family backgrounds.
Faith was from a two-parent home with one sibling, while her husband was from a polygamous home with four stepmothers and fourteen siblings. He was the only child of his mother and was the family's first child and son.
Even with his background, Asa’s character was unquestionable, and at that time, he was an outlier Nigerian married man. As far as Faith knew, he did not cheat. She did not have any cause to suspect him of any bad behavior. He was a well-respected family man.
Asa settled in NY and lived in the company-subsidized apartments. He called his wife every other day and read to his children on weekends. He took the time to do that even with different time zones.
Asa often conversed with his wife about how his mother told him to prioritize his wife and children because his dad was a workaholic and rarely had time for his wives or children.
Asa visited Nigeria as often as he could. It was less expensive for him to visit his family than for six people to visit him in the US.
During these visits with his family, they discussed the effects of family separation. Faith struggled to be a single parent to her four young children. However, she did not want to raise her children far away from their families. They agreed to consider moving to the US when the children were older or if the contract was renewed before the expiration date.
Two years after Asa left Nigeria, Faith sought and got transferred to Lagos to be closer to her family.
Asa visited a few more times, and they decided it was time the family moved to NY.
Faith had a work visa, which allowed her to find a new position in the company branch in the US or any financial firm.
Asa reported that the company accommodation was okay but was small for a family of seven compared to what they had in Nigeria.
They sought advice from Asa’s senior colleague, and she floated the idea of Asa’s contract likely to be extended because of the project he was working on.
The new suspicion sealed the deal, and the family agreed to relocate to the US during their Easter holiday celebration.
After a few months, Asa changed his mind and said he would prefer similar accommodations and schools as the children attended in Nigeria. He explained that he learned from his colleagues that they could get bigger accommodation for a few hundred dollars more in a location with desirable schools.
Asa suggested that his wife come to the US first until they secure a suitable home for the family. And that the kids should move in with Faith’s parents, who recently retired, and their long-term nanny stayed to help with the children. He believed they could settle down for a year before their four children and their nanny joined them.
Faith spoke again with others who had contracts before her husband about their experience. They all agreed that caring for four children would take most of their income and time if they wanted similar schools and lifestyles they had in Nigeria.
They agreed to leave the children in Nigeria with Faith’s parents for a year. Faith’s parents were excited to care for their grandchildren, and they wanted their daughter to join her husband, as it had been almost three years since he left.
Faith’s mom, Bella, preferred couples living in the same home. She advised her daughter, “Go and join your husband. Leave today, and I will bring the children later.” Her words keep running amok in Faith’s head because her mom was a woman of few words. Bella traveled extensively around the world before retiring from the Nigerian Navy. Once, she left Faith and her sibling for six months. That was the longest. Faith respected her mom and her words.
Faith and Asa explained everything to their kids. Still, they were sad about the change of plans but consoled themselves by moving to their grandparents’ house, a few minutes drive from their school. The children loved visiting because they had an exciting place near the waterfall.
Before buying the plane ticket, Faith spoke with her husband to confirm her departure day on Saturday. He suggested Sunday because he would take a week off, and the airport was often less busy on Monday evening. That suggestion worked. Faith thought they could have fun before he returned to work.
Lucy hosted a closed-street party for her daughter-in-law. At the end of the party, Lucy’s friends donated money, which was given to her as a traveler’s check. Faith was not surprised because her MIL was a socialist and helped many young women start businesses. She often said, “If you want to know who is successful, look at the people around them.” Faith expressed, “I was so blessed to have her then. She was a kind MIL. She was a good person. My MIL was extraordinary and didn’t give me drama. God bless her soul.”
Faith left her children and was emotionally drained when they waved the final goodbye at the airport gate.
Surprisingly, the children were in a good mood. Faith’s parents and MIL were happy that she joined her husband after living apart for two and a half years.
Faith’s plane layover in Amsterdam, and she used a pay phone to make a call, but Asa did not answer. She thought he was sleeping. That was strange because he never sleeps when his wife travels. She felt nervous and had a nosebleed. She never had a nosebleed in her life. She quickly prayed and reassured herself that everything was okay.
Faith arrived at JFK and was so excited to be with her husband after living apart for so long. She quickly moved her two pieces of luggage, checked the two boxes through immigration, and ran to the waiting room.
She looked, searched for her husband, and did not see him amongst the relatives waiting to receive their loved ones. As time passed, she was confused and went and made another call — no answer on the other end.
Expat’s Wife dilemma.
Part 3 continues here.
