Exhaustion

Summary

The poem "Exhaustion" by Lori Carlson reflects on the emotional turmoil and strain of living with a mental illness and its impact on a loving relationship.

Abstract

"Exhaustion," a free verse poem by Lori Carlson, delves into the personal struggle with mental health issues and their effects on both the individual suffering and their partner. The poem describes the speaker's internal chaos as a "decimated forest," suggesting the destructive nature of their mental state. Despite the speaker's outbursts and self-destructive behavior, their partner's love persists. The poem acknowledges the unfairness and futility in wishing the condition away, recognizing the inevitability of future episodes. It questions the sustainability of the relationship in the face of repeated crises, hinting at the potential for mutual exhaustion and the possibility of being overwhelmed by the speaker's illness. Carlson's work is a poignant exploration of the complexities of love, mental health, and the resilience of relationships against the backdrop of chronic psychological distress.

Opinions

The speaker expresses self-awareness about the negative impact of their mental health on their partner, recognizing the toll it takes on both parties.
There is a deep appreciation for the partner's enduring love and support, despite the challenging circumstances.
The poem conveys a sense of helplessness and frustration regarding the speaker's inability to control their mental health episodes.
The speaker seems to grapple with guilt over the repeated demands placed on their partner to provide emotional support during their episodes of rage.
The poem suggests a cycle of destructive behavior followed by regret, highlighting the speaker's struggle to maintain a healthy relationship amidst their mental health battles.
There is an underlying fear of the relationship's longevity, with the speaker questioning how long both individuals can endure the strain before it leads to their emotional demise.

A Free Verse poem

I exhaust you I exhaust me too — This calamity of my mind leaves a decimated forest in its wake Nothing beautiful flourishes here

And yet, you still love me — despite the reign of terror I unleash with voice and hands the screaming, screaming and objects aimed at your head —

I am a wildebeest!

In those moments of rage I am engulfed by fire my eyes frantically scan for any exit in sight but I cannot escape myself — I am trapped inside this mind as much a hostage to my illness as you are for loving me

I can’t make this fair for you — No amount of wishing makes it go away nor denial It’s not a matter of if, but when I will go off again —

How many times will you put out the fire? How many times before we are both so exhausted we are consumed by the flames? Exhausted, exhausted And die

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Lori Carlson writes poetry, fiction, personal essays, creative non-fiction, and articles. She focuses on Spirituality, Life Lessons, Self-Awareness, Relationships, Mental Health, and LGBTQ+. She is the Owner/Editor of Promptly Written and Not For Bedtime Stories. You can find her older stories on her creative writing blog, Ravyne’s Nest and random ramblings on her personal blog, A Delicious Torment.

POETRY

Exhaustion

A Free Verse poem