Exercise Happier, Not Harder
How out of desperation came a solution
“Love can move us to overcome struggles.” — Leo Babauta
I don’t like working out. I am the kind of person who signs up for a gym membership to only quit after the first month or so. A couple of years ago I ditched the gym altogether to save money and trouble.
For a long time I thought of my resistance as a character flaw. I thought I didn’t have enough discipline, that I was too impatient and lazy. But past studies have shown that people quit the gym for three main reasons:
- Lack of time
- Lack of enjoyment
- Lack of of motivation
As a working mom, I lacked all three. However, what I didn’t register until recently was that I don’t need tons of exercise to be fit and healthy. Turns out, I don’t need much time, discipline, or motivation either. I wasn’t lacking anything except for this awareness:
Exercise is play, not work.
Recently, I was excited to discover that I could finally wear my Batik cotton dress. That meant I had shed at least five pounds over the past four weeks. Though not a huge achievement, it is just what I needed.
When I first bought the dress in Bali in 2017, I had the ideal weight of 125 pounds for my 5’4” height. I’d been traveling with my husband and son in Asia for over a month and was losing weight from our endless walking. I thought I had stumbled onto a formula for weight loss:
Walk tons + eat ethnic food on a budget + drop alcohol + feel freer and happier = weight loss
Once back in the US, I began putting on weight from sitting on my butt for hours at a time and drinking a glass or two of wine to de-stress after work. At one point, I had reached 140 pounds, which is the heaviest I’d ever been. It may not sound like a big deal for some people, but it bothered me.
One day about two years ago I was sorting my clothes in a Mari-Kondo-way, making a pile for everything that no longer fit or brought me joy. When I found my dress from Bali, I tried it on and found it had shrunk several sizes. I could barely fit my arms through its sleeves, let alone button it up in the front. Of course, it was me who had ballooned several sizes.
I loved this dress so much that I couldn’t toss it onto the donate pile. Instead, I saved it to use as a weight loss goal. Once in a while I tried it on to see if I could fit into it better. My progress was very slow.
Then last month, as the wildfires began raging through California, I became desperate for an escape, a change, or anything that would help me cope. Once I had dreamed of working from home, but at that point it felt oppressive and suffocating. My body ached, my brain felt toasted.
Outdoor activities, like hiking, walking, and biking, all got suspended. We kept our windows tightly shut to keep out the toxic smoke and ash.
During this time I started to read Leo Babauta’s Essential Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change, Briefly. Starting a few tiny rituals seemed like a good idea, something doable in my shaky state.
Leo Babauta doesn’t recommend starting several habits all at once. He advises his readers to start one small one at a time and take it super easy and slowly.
But I need something to distract myself from going bonkers, and working on one tiny habit in a maddeningly slow pace just didn’t cut it for my restless soul. So I modified his instructions to fit my situation.
I chose my three ten-minute rituals: Writing, Dancing, Piano.
Exercise can be therapeutic
As I mentioned before I don’t like working out. I often refuse to do long and strenuous exercise sessions. Anything over 30 minutes feels too long for me. There are exceptions.
For many years, about two or three times a week, I’ve been doing yoga, happily, for an hour. I have a long history with yoga and I am securely attached to my yoga routines.
About twice a month I go for a hike, which can sometimes take longer than two hours to complete. Whenever I can, I choose to not drive to any destination I can reach on foot or a bike. I thought I was getting enough exercise from yoga, hiking, walking, and biking, but apparently, it wasn’t enough to lose weight.
I eat pretty healthily except for the occasional over-drinking of red wine.
One day about a month ago, I set my timer for 10 minutes, played my favorite up-beat songs, and danced along with the music. When the timer stopped, I was out of breath and sweating profusely. The next day, I did this 10-minute routine twice about five hours apart.
Within the next ten days, the 10 minutes became 15 minutes, and sometimes even 20 minutes. During these sessions I sweat a lot and feel a surge of energy. I find that my body knows how to follow along with the beats and rhythm of the music. I just let go and lose myself. I dance like no one is watching. Time flies.
Never once did I not enjoy these sessions. Never once did I feel any resistance to doing them. I now do two 15-minute routines a day spaced at least three hours apart.
I think these short cardio breaks are especially therapeutic for people who work at the computer. Sitting for hours at a time is one of the most unnatural things we can do for our health. When I do so, I feel my blood stagnate, my vision blur, and my mood become darker.
What I have learned is that I can happily exercise for a very short time, and I don’t mind doing so several times a day. In this way, I get at least 30 minutes of good exercise a day without struggling. I think I might even be addicted to my dance breaks.
According to Leo Babauta, it takes about six weeks for a habit to form. I am certain my dance ritual is here to stay. It has helped me through the rough patches and to establish a sense of normalcy.
Recently the air quality has improved in our area. Biking and walking outdoors again never felt so good. But this good air can’t be taken for granted.
Finally, here are some tips for anyone struggling to find time and motivation to exercise:
Ditch big goals and start super small. Less is more, and tiny rituals rock. Consistency matters. The gym is overrated. Willpower is a lie. Focus on winning your day ten minutes at a time. However you move, enjoy it and have fun. Don’t exercise to lose weight, do it for love.
At the end of the day, exercising is not about weight loss even though we fuss about it. It is about connecting with our nature, our bodies, and our roots.
Take care and stay safe and healthy. Thank you for reading.
