Excuses vs Reasons

What do they mean in terms of reaching your goals?

Excuses, Excuses

Some of the most recognizable self-help dialogue is to deny that excuses exist and speak about them as something immediately invalid.

“No more excuses!”

“There’s no such thing as an excuse”

Look, excuses are excusing something, I can’t argue with that.

There are many useful quotes about how distasteful excuses can be;

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” — Benjamin Franklin

“Never make excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your foes won’t believe them.” ―John Wooden

“The trouble with excuses is that they become inevitably difficult to believe after they’ve been used a couple of times.” ―Scott Spencer

“I attribute my success to this: — I never gave or took an excuse.”― Florence Nightingale

These are all nice and motivational, but they’re talking about excuses in a negative context. Excuses as many of us know them are also subjective.

I am putting some attention on this because I see that this negative spin on excuses has become somewhat of an excuse in itself. The word almost instantly triggers the sense of someone lying to avoid responsibility.

For a time, I would find myself questioning if I was making an excuse about something or not. My excuse for not taking action was not knowing if I had an excuse or a reason. Then I’d wind up taking a lot of time to try and find an answer.

This is a trap we can fall into that causes us to miss the point of whatever we are trying to pursue.

Excuses and Reasons

It seems like I’m always aware of at least a couple of people that shame themselves and beat themselves up over excuses to the point that they cannot act. We get caught up sometimes in those pearls of wisdom about excuses and they mix with disappointment. When that happens it can cause very strong barriers to action.

Far too often we base the validity of our reasons on social reception. Have you ever looked to someone to confirm or deny whether you should partake in a leisurely activity? Or asked your friends if something was a good idea even when you knew that it wasn’t?

Remember, excuses in a practical-social sense are subjective.

If the person that we are giving an excuse to accepts our excuse, it is called a reason.

If they do not, it is called an excuse.

The line between a reason and an excuse rests in the eye of the beholder.

I’m sure we’ve all lived through the experience of giving someone the reason that we did something, only to have them say they don’t believe it and think it’s an excuse. Then, they make up something that they thought you were “more likely” to do.

Some people have zero tolerance for any response if their desired outcome is not reached.

In terms of achieving your goals or restructuring your emotions, thoughts, or habits, this is not the type of excuse being referenced.

You May be Reasonably Excusing Yourself

For most people, the “excuse” that needs to be dispelled is a real, well-evidenced, and valid reason. Hence why it becomes a touchy subject to accuse someone of making an excuse. Also why it may not be so simple to do away with.

Does the fact that our reasons are valid and have evidence mean that they are useful to us? No, it just means that it is senseless to try and forcefully remove those beliefs. You will not change your mindset by fighting against your reasoning and evidence.

A wise solution is to leave those reasons or excuses alone, let them be. Begin researching and generating evidence for why the opposite is possible. Find real reasons for why what you want is possible, and why you are not held back by any constraints.

We want to try to create a new set of ideas and beliefs that is more appealing than those that carry a lot of negative emotion.

Just remember this quote —

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” — Jim Carrey

If you want to start something try not to worry too much about your reasons, excuses, or justifications. Just go for it! You’ll naturally find reasons to support it.

Thanks for reading!

I like writing articles to answer people’s questions so leave your questions about life in the comments!

Also share some of your experiences with excuses or justified reasons that you have had in your life.

If you enjoyed you could buy me a coffee!