Excerpts From Chapter 6: Sheamus’ Story

Continuing with chapter 6, Sheamus’ story. Told from a Carib-Jamericanadian perspective. In richly blended language mix of; nonsense talk, sensational spelling, double entendre, and Jamaican Patois. Yes, wordplay is the order of the day around here. Yeah — man, a Jamaica yaad mi come fram, sorry, I meant to say; I’m Jamaican born and bred, okay? So, here’s today’s excerpt.

Note: Some materials are omitted from the story as written in the book.

The man had a son who was a highly rated and very well-placed champion in the king’s service to command. He took to liking the boy, and eventually took him in, as a service to his own father and the family line, the wrong thing. Fatty was more than happy to have made it into the big time slot e — Mi pickney. Yeah, man. He was quick in bringing along his old friend from a long time gone down home too. In the person of Dedimus from the old school.

So, now those fat foxes are getting a bit fatter than that, and they’re still gnawing at the vines on the lot over there. Yeah, man, those fat foxes are now theirs, not mine, like that one, for instance. The one who was most responsible for his meteoric climb up the royal line, long distance. He wasn’t even bloody related to him at all, but. He was more than happy to answer the call. He was rich and very well positioned to see things through quickly and to make things look as good as you on the sonny boy Pickney, and me, as they are, on she, yes, her. His lady love from somewhere around the throne above. The missed stress as was given to him by the helper man from higher up with lots of love to stress him out and over the stove. See? Yes. Okay, continue to look, because. She was very helpful in getting it all to happen and getting things fixed up properly and popping the cocoa jars flown in free for somebody looking more or less, like me, and for the pleasure of pleasing herself too, at the time. Like, for the love of that same old fat sonny, me and Amos, because. Yes, he was the man of the house, of course…

“And, and why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did he do all that?”

“Because he must. Nothing is too good for Sheamus, especially when his wife would have already given it her thumbs-up. Of course, his buddy best friend Dedimus who was coming in not much later, on the bus, was to be an added benefactor of it all.”

Coming in to sort out the house, and to get things fixed up good and properly, and happening for somebody in the hall. Like, for Sonny himself, first and foremost, then Amos and me, of course, because he must. Would have always been there to cover for him whenever Shae would shirk on his work and go about screwing, around. That was what he did. To him, and her, and me.

As this and other such things were to have turned out and become a fact for the rest of them to see, and to talk about over tea, not us, but. for folks such as him, and she, yes, the lovely lady he used to call, mammy.

“Tell me. Who told them about what would have happened between him and the wife of that other uncle of sorts?”

“I don’t know enough about those facts from gossiping talks, okay?”

“But, but, how come you…”

“Okay Mister Smart as asked, listen up, because, it was because. Such things were to be found happening every morning, and continuing all day long darling, even up until evening. Chatterboxes were chatting about it every day. Such reports were popping out of everybody’s mouths of clay, as their first cousins sang the chorus, okay? So, it wasn’t hard to understand very clearly, the reason for those.” The lady love wasn’t wasting any more time with me. They began to work on it very quickly. Just after they’d managed to get him a job and a place to sit and stay in town with, yes, she, not me, weekly.

“Liar you.”

“What, what did you just say?”

“Never mind me, just a slip-talk from the zip code on which I sometimes park the jackass cart on which I go riding the roads around these parts, carry on, carry on.”

“…Permanently as a matter of fact.” That place, as it turned out, wasn’t round as you’d supposed, but flat. It was the last place that Sonny Boy would have ever imagined chasing a sit down upon the hem of a frock… sorry, I meant to say, rock, on a rock without a frown, on his ask king parts.

Crown Hill it was, below or above. Well, not quite that high up the cronies’ town to get to see the crown Hill Kiln where such crusts were minted and baked-in until brown with tint in love, but. They were soon to become the king’s chief fighting men in the region alright, yes, no less sparkling and bright. But not hanging up his leggings that close to the crown itself anymore, to have been standing on the most royal grounds with stealth, as before. But the sonny boy’s life was changed for the better, although it sometimes seemed to us as if it was turned upside down — mi Breda, and then got turned back around again for the worst kind of “best,” for mama and papa if nobody else, and ever after, as I’d guessed.

“Because of him, I suppose.”

“Yeah man, that’s the truth.” Go wipe your nose, because… “yuck, look at you.” He got himself so tightly woven into them and their ways of doing things that, he would have quickly forgotten about his own branch on the tree limb. Couldn’t say for sure whether they had managed to live through the myriad of attacks or not, and to make it out, to the we-win. Until he was to find himself running away from the rest of the big shots with his doggy pup and Dedimus hanging on his shoulder limb-like props. Hopping along like a three-legged man. In the middle of two walking sticks for balance and a cotch, like, sipping on each man’s bottle of stolen scotch handed down to them from the mean one.

He didn’t have the heart to walk away with his doggy alone and leave his only friend from days long gone, without even a bone. Knowing that he would just lay there and die like all the rest of his friends and alibis had done. So, he picked him up along with his carrying sack to add to the two that he and his dog already had and hopped along the road ahead. Looking for what? Hoof, Hoof. “Oh, mi Bred, mi dead yet?” I mean, “Am I dead?” was what I heard the brother man say. Then bowed his head, and, and…

Meanwhile, “I have no money — Honey,” he said to her pretty little Bonny rabbit’s clad outstretched hand waving at his own salt and peppery graying hairy strands somewhere around his headband. Came in from somewhere nearer than where she was sitting there on the other side of him on the feather and straw bed pan, at first. She’d by then moved up a verse, or two. “Well, you know her, no?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, I’ll continue along on the hunt, until you catch up with me and get us to overcome.” What he had at the time, though, was a house.

“Oh! No.”

“Yes.” A tiny house with a few doors hinged from the inside out west some more. To be wind-blocking everything that blows o’er the poor thing, and swinging his weights around like a baseball bat at it in order to swung the rotten opening back in, and to let them outside of the Portsmouth, then back in again once or twice a month, yes. It was happening up there where the wee house was built on the hillside in Portsmouth, I’d supposed and squinted. While the quilt hinted at tossing a fiber thread at my eye, and lied about what she thought that we did. As those nosey passers-by got the walking legs started off running ahead to go and lie with spies. Like, those roaming rover guys, while they were to be seen lying yet some more. Or sitting down together and laughing off their arts at the little bredda — mi bred, even. Yes, my brother, that’s what they did. He, like all and everybody else around those parts in the yards near the sea, was ordered to stay home by themselves to take a pause off with the cocoa pods of tea. But then, shortly afterward, the fatty boy Sheamus and his crony cubbies were called in to stand before the king and then sent out on duty to fight for the said king and his buddies. Fighting to ensure that everyone else’s door was closed up but theirs, and his, and that they were all made to become shut-ins, from the outdoors, that is.

The order was sent down the ladder by somebody else from, you know, like, from another rung on the upper border. To get us to get up from a round of beer in these very parts since the bar barred us too. Had to close up shop on the half soul of your shoe, maker, and socks. Yes, go ahead and make her lose her tops, to the bottoms, if you want. Since you seemed to think that you can, even though everyone around these parts knows that you can’t. But how could she have known that fact, and so quickly? They were asking this even of the little pickney. Yes — my child. Besides, I had to have lied when I gave her my reply. “By someone from not too far and very well-known around those parts of your town too,” I said, but. Well, as it was to have turned out, he was someone not too well-known about — mi bred, in truth, like.

Like, what was his real job, and how he was going about paying his scouts and getting it done with them winning the glad. Such things were not known about him, that’s why everybody was asking. Not even in and around some parts of his own hometown, either, in person, that is. But he sure was up in arms about someone who has got something on him, like, a powerful noun for a name — whiz kid. And quite a few quid were to be blamed for this, and that, and on all of his biz Inez. Whatever he says, they all say, and it would become the staying sayings and the playing games of the new day. Just like what was to have happened on that and such other occasions — Dame, don’t forget eh, his name, so…

A closed-in they became, along with all the rest of them, and trying to live out the plague bugging game from then on. A crown-coated virus it was that had caused the alarm, one who, unlike us, comes with a royal name strand, on the bus

“Oh c’mon, that has got to be wrong.” Said this starve of a drunken man.

“No,” said I, in my response, I’m not leading you on, not at all. A virus it was. The one that came down to them from above. His name was even signed on the line below, inked with his stain few in our realms would have known how to show. That was the very place that was to become the complaint-receiving and reports-reading center from then on. As was heard by every average Joe and the same sane — Hingh, yes sir Sam.” Yes man, thank you for dropping in on us and listening in. The more people like you that we can get these facts to, in all truth, the better it will be for everybody to walk our booths, and follow all the way through, so yes. It was our pledge ore to have been able to show and tell you this, Sir.

It was sent down to the entire peopled population from above their own home station. Thrown down on us through the fingering hands of a known statesman; yes, the fat one. But how could they have known about such one door full outcomes that were to have fallen on their own son?

“I know, I know,” he said, in response to her effort at enabling him into it and to get us as well as him to agree; not to beg. “Never again should we become bigger beggar than Ned, so that we should ever have to beg.” She was doing this to remind him how such things go walking out on legs, and that it was free again, you know. Just the same as any and all the other stains that came before the pain.

“Which pain Came before?”

“The same one that came earlier on, slapping on their but tons. Calling in on us to place the blame down, instead of up. Like, up there from whence, in fact, it came, when it came hammering on the backside of the brother man and every other one of these lames. Don’t start thinking that I’d forgotten about the sister, no mister, no mister, leave her right there. Because everybody was dragged into the mixture, fast and unfair, yes. A gift from the king and his governing sisters it was. She who was at the time, responsible for governing the tugs, and the other guard’s men too, did the signing and slew their way down to everybody in the house, with him and you. In fact. It was so designed as to exchange ownership of the game from the bottom up for themselves, and for whoever else was to be found with him and her sitting on the shelf. Amen. And coming in from other men too, to everybody with him on words, not their good works, say amen again.”

“Amen again.”

“Thank you, because it’s true, very true.”

“Yes,” he said when he’d confessed to her diligent odd dress, “but we don’t need it, never did, never will.” As a matter of fact, look, look at that fox, that’s the same fat fox that was running off to the kill, there he goes again, going on towards the killing tracks if you will. Look at that, and then at me kid, if you please. Well, if you want. Otherwise, go over there and sit with your aunt.

“But, but. Why? Should I even do that spy and go?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Of course not,” not when I’ve got everything that I need head right here in my own house. Even when so many holes are in the roof that high water is now dripping down from an eye and dropping to the stopping on my thigh as if I’m about to cry and die. Sitting here on my tightly woven tie, made of rye to try and dye it, whilst I’m lying low in my own arms house thing, even. When comes the ending in the evening. That will be something worth a haughty Amen “Ding”, comes the chime in. Neath e? Yeah man, but. Let’s eat this, then continue on along my free man’s square, yes, sweet Sis.?

“Damn right, you are.”

To be continued.

That’s it for this excerpt of chapter 6. Be sure to join us again tomorrow to continue with the story. Don’t forget to like, share, and comment. We sure would appreciate it if you’d subscribe and follow us somewhere too, thank you.

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Just an excerpt from my book called “Twisted Tales from the Big Fail.” A Novel: Real Inky Trails Series.