A WRITER’S LIFE

Evidently You Forgot To Dream

To the writer who suggested we should all stop reading fiction

In all my years of writing fiction, reading fiction, and talking about reading and writing fiction, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. I would have never believed I’d stumble across someone who had the brass tacks to take on a world of fiction writers by telling a reading audience they should stop reading fiction.

What in the Wide World of Sports is going on here, folks?

I’m not going to eviscerate the dumbass point by unsubstantiated point (although I could) because the points weren’t valid in the first place. Oh, and the reasons listed for not reading fiction clearly demonstrated the writer had, entirely missed the point.

Hate to tell ya bubba, but your thinking train must have left the station weeks before you chose to write your tub-o-stinking-goo.

Instead of offering ways to improve our existential thinking by rounding out our reading with various genres, what does this noob suggest? That we need to short-sheet all kinds of fiction like fantasy, crime, suspense, horror, and yes, even romance.

Why? Because as far as this penultimate non-expert is concerned, fiction provides no intrinsic value.

Really.

Evidently, this writer has stopped dreaming.

Fiction, especially good fiction, is the stuff dreams are made of, a place of mysterious worlds, of fantastical beasts that strike wonder in the heart as well as terror. Fiction is dreams of things that could be real, but aren’t, that need to be real, but never will, of futures that may or may not be just around the corner.

Think Jules Verne and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. A submarine powered by sodium/mercury batteries? No way.

Okay, think Dick Tracy for you comic book lovers out there. Remember the telephone watch old Dick had? Give me a call on your smartphone if you do.

Fiction is dreaming right along with the writer as the story is told. Fiction is the imagination of the soul, of the heart, of the head. Reading a good work of fiction allows the reader to enjoy the benefits of dreaming without having to spend hours at night drooling on a pillow. Quality works of fiction help the reader dream, which enhances their creativity and problem-solving skills.

What did this writer recommend we read instead of a work of fiction?

Self-help.

Oh, good, Lord. I’m not the expert here, but every self-help I’ve ever gagged over starts out with the fundamental premise that the reader is broken. Because you have to be damaged or the self-help won’t, well, help.

Ah, cough(bullshit)cough.

Perhaps this writer who recommends self-help books over fiction should cram a couple of chapters of that self-help book up his ass to relieve his mental constipation.

Now here’s the deal. It was an opinion piece, a writer stating his opinion about the reasons he won’t read fiction. A lot of writers have different opinions on things, right?

Okay, it was a piece of shit opinion piece, and the writer was so out there with his reasoning, he’ll need an astronaut’s suit and a month’s supply of oxygen to survive. It was the title and the subtitle that really ticked me off. It’s one thing to tell me, “Hey, this is why I don’t read fiction.” It’s entirely a different kettle of cuttlefish to recommend to an entire reading base to stop reading fiction.

Now you’re stepping on my toes asshole. I and many other of my writing friends write and read fiction. That would be like me telling all of my reader base not to read what you write.

Oh wait, they aren’t reading what you write. It’s most probably because you’ve lost your creativity, oh, I don’t know, by maybe not reading fiction every now and then?

In honor of this writer’s moratorium on reading fiction and suggesting we do so as well, I just wrote a short story of fiction.

Whooda thunk?

And I created a new character (because I still have a bit of creativity from writing and reading fiction), and this character doesn’t read a bit of fiction and won’t let those around him read fiction.

My antagonist had so much fun killing this character.

She did it really slow, starting by cutting off the character’s feet, then up to the legs then the arms, and finally severing this character’s head from his body with a serrated knife. The entire time this character who refused to read fiction continued to scream, “this can’t be happening. This isn’t real; this can’t be real.”

When he died, the antagonist winked at me, and we both smiled because we knew it seemed real enough to the fictional character who refused to read fiction.

Ah, pity. Sorry to see him go, but damn, that was fun.

Thank you so much for reading. You didn’t have to, but I’m certainly glad you did.

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© P.G. Barnett, 2020. All Rights Reserved.