Satire
Evidently Stupidity Is An Acquired Taste
Learning To Be A Moron Must Take Years Of Practice
Forest Gump’s momma had it right. “Stupid is as stupid does.” I think we’ve all seen a lot of stupid in our lives, but I’ve got to tell ya friends, I don’t believe I’ve seen this much stupid since, well, never.
It’s not that I’m old and crotchety (yes I am). It’s not as if I’m the kind of person who doesn’t practice tolerance when people (myself included) make foolish life choices (I don’t).
It’s just strange how the older I get, it seems the less tolerant I am of stupidity. Whether it’s mine or anybody else’s.
Now, it’s probably not perma-stupid people’s fault. I mean, they more than likely have spent years learning how to become proper morons. Stupidity is not for everybody. I actually think of it as being an acquired taste. Not everyone can handle it much less pull it off daily.
But for a lot of folks during these trying days, weeks, and months of “sheltering-in-place” there’s a ton of morons all over the USA exhibiting vast amounts of stupidity.
From the lowest levels of — hey bubba, watch this — to state elected officials up the political chain including our Lysol drinking, bleach injection suggestions, Liar In Chief we’re witnessing the stupidest show on Earth.
Who knew there were that many practicing morons out there? This morning I found myself wondering how long it took all of them to replace common sense with stupid idiocy?
I mean, come on folks, these mental midgets couldn’t have all just woken up this morning and suddenly announced to the world — “hey y’all. I’m a dumb*ss!”
Becoming a dumb*ss and believing dumb*ss statements about the “Chinese Virus,” and ingesting Lysol products to kill something that’s a hoax started by the Democrats has to take years and years of practice right?
There’s no such thing as a stupid pill is there? If there is, I know who’s taking them.
It’s got to be all these morons walking around bereft of any type of PPE waving their weapons (penis and vagina envy) in protest.
Yeah, it’s got to be those packs of stupid people who believe CDC death numbers are inflated. Those who stupidly think the hospitals are getting incentivized to report COVID related issues when they’re not.
It must be all the ate-up-with-the-dumb*ss people who are saying that it ain’t right. It just ain’t right some halfway intelligent politician (who could be a complete idiot and still be smarter) is trying to enforce lockdowns and taking away God-given rights to get sick and die on one’s own terms.
It’s got to be all the imbeciles who demand they’ve got the right to have beards and hair cut, nails polished and eyebrows plucked by barbers, stylists, and technicians who are either just getting sick themselves or trading a nail job for a possible death sentence.
It’s just got to be those stupid morons, right?
What sane person does or says something like that?
I honestly don’t believe any human being on this planet is born stupid. And because of this, I also think becoming a full-fledged moron evidently takes years and years of practice.
So do you want to know why we hardly see the sane folks much anymore? Well, they’re the ones hiding behind layers of PPE and staying at home where they’re supposed to be, only getting out when they have no choice.
They’re not cloistered in newly opened restaurants breathing tainted air as they nosh on a piping hot plate of nachos. They’re enjoying their Ramen noodle as they stay abreast of real news (all the stupid people call this fake news) and waiting for common sense and an all-clear signal, also known as a vaccine to rule the day.
So Forrest said, “stupid is as stupid does.” And it certainly seems he and his momma were spot on. Lately, I’ve been seeing a whole bunch of people doing a whole lot of stupid.
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