Everything You Need to Know About Lube

Which to use and which to avoid

The first time I bought lube, I got it from a vending machine.

It was attached to the wall of a restroom that was shared by a bar and a convenience store. The vending machine was clearly meant for the bar’s patrons — I was just there for snacks.

I was old enough to understand what the condoms in the machine were for, though I wasn’t entirely sure what the French ticklers were or why you’d use one. I knew the lube was something people used for sex, but I didn’t have a clue what it was for. I had watched porn by then, but they never showed anyone applying it.

As it happened, I had enough change in my pocket to satisfy my curiosity. I put in the money and the machine dispensed a pillow pack informing me it was tutti fruiti flavored lube.

Knowing it was flavored just made it more confusing.

I brought it home, ripped open the packet, and played with the slick stuff. It was yellowish, slippery, and felt kind of nice on my fingers. I wasn’t about to put it near my tongue to test the flavor — I took the packet’s word for it.

That would be my last experience with lube for a while. Eventually, I kind of figured out what it was for, but I still had plenty of misconceptions about it. So, when I decided to buy some so I could make anal sex more comfortable, I just got the first thing I found on sale at the local sex shop.

To this day, I have no idea what I bought. I know it wasn’t flavored, but I don’t know what brand it was, what was in it, whether it was silicone-based or water-based. I had no clue, because I figured lube was lube.

Thankfully, I know better now. Lube isn’t just lube. It’s a category of products and the type you use can make a real difference.

I’m a big proponent of lube, and I want to encourage people to use more of it, use it more often, and to use it for more than just anal or when they’re feeling a bit dry. But I also want to encourage people to use the right kind of lube. So, here’s a run down of the different types of lube, what each is good for, and what you should avoid.

Water-Based Lube

Now that I know more about lube, I figure the first bottle I bought was probably water-based lube. It’s generally cheaper and more widely available. And one of the reasons for that is that water-based lube is your all-purpose stuff.

You can use it with sex toys, condoms, and for manual, oral, vaginal, and anal sex. About the only thing you can’t really use it for is fucking in the shower because it washes off very quickly and easily. But that downside is also one of its perks: water-based lube is the easiest to clean and wipe off once you’re done.

Its only real drawbacks (other than the shower thing) is that it wears off a lot more quickly so you need to reapply it more often. That’s fine most of the time, but I find that makes it less suitable for anal (I don’t know about you, but I prefer to minimize the number of times my partner takes it out and sticks it back in).

Most of the water-based lubes I’ve tried also have a bit of a tacky or sticky feeling to them after they start wearing off. That’s especially noticeable when giving handjobs, since I notice all the changes in texture and there’s no natural lubrication to make up for it (the way there would be with oral or vaginal sex).

Silicone-Based Lube

Silicone-based lubes are slicker and longer-lasting than water-based ones. They’re also hypoallergenic which makes them a good option for anyone who experiences irritation, skin breakout, or any other kind of adverse reaction from other types of lubes.

Silicone-based lube is great, but it does have two downsides.

The first is the price. Silicone-based lubes tend to cost you a bit more, though it’s a fairly negligible difference if you break it down per use.

The second is that you can’t use it with silicone-based toys. Well, you can, but the lube will break down the silicone and you could end up damaging your toy as a result.

Years ago, when I first looked into the difference between water-based and silicone-based lubes, I decided not to even try silicone-based. Since I couldn’t use it with sex toys, I figured I should stick to all-purpose water-based lubes instead.

Last year, though, I started looking for a good massage oil. I had been using coconut oil, but it was causing my skin to break out. The best option seemed to be überlube, so I bought a bottle and gave it a try.

It worked great for massages. It worked even better for everything else.

I have since been a total silicone-based convert. I still enjoy and use water-based lubes, but nothing beats the slickness and fun of using a silicone-based product.

One little caveat here: I’ve read that some silicone-based lubes can be used with some silicone toys. That’s really cool, and I would love to use some with toys, but I don’t want to risk it (especially since my favorite vibrator has been discontinued). Until I can get solid confirmation that I won’t damage my toys, I’m sticking to water-based.

Hybrid Lube

Hybrid lubes combine water with a smaller amount of silicone. The result is a lube that is meant to be slicker like a silicone-based one, but safe to use with all sex toys.

I haven’t tried a hybrid lube yet, so I can’t speak to exactly how they feel or if they completely eliminate the problems with water-based lube (like the tackiness), but they seem promising and I can’t wait to get some and try it out.

Oil-Based Lube

Instead of water or silicone, oil-based lubes use a natural oil base (like coconut oil and sweet almond oil) as its main ingredient.

They’re generally thicker and softer when compared to other types of lube. They last longer, too.

There are some pretty big drawbacks, though.

The big one is that you can’t use it with condoms. Oil-based lubes break down latex, making it an unsafe combination.

It’s also not recommended for vaginal use, since these types of lube can house bacteria that can lead to infection.

They do have their uses, though. Because they’re thick and long-lasting, oil-based lubes are really good for (unprotected) anal sex and handjobs.

Flavored Lube

Flavored lube is, well, lube that’s been flavored and sometimes sweetened. As you can imagine, the point is to make oral sex more enjoyable (for the giver and the receiver).

My experience with flavored lube makes me slot it in the “not bad” category. I haven’t tried a flavor I actively enjoy yet (though I have my eye on you, Mint Chocolate lube — don’t disappoint me!) It might take a bit of trial and error before you find one that you like. Still, even the ones with a so-so flavor make giving blowjobs more fun.

One thing flavored lubes aren’t made for, though, is vaginal sex. Most of them contain some kind of natural or artificial sweetener, which can cause yeast infections.

Fertility Lube

This type of lube is a lot less common, but a few brands like Pre-Seed are designed to provide lubrication while you’re trying to conceive. These lubes keep the acidity low enough to protect sperm instead of killing it.

This is a bit of a specialty product, but I wanted to give a shout-out to the product that helped me have better sex while I was trying to get knocked up.

Using Lube with Condoms

Lube is great when using condoms, too. Even prelubricated condoms can use a little extra slather.

You can also use some lube inside the condom. One or two drops inside the tip or on the head of the penis before putting it on will reduce friction, which makes it more pleasurable for the wearer but also reduces the risk of tearing.

The only thing to avoid with condoms are oil-based lubes. Like I said above, they compromise the latex and the protection it gives you.

Ingredients to Avoid

There are a few ingredients that are best to avoid when you’re shopping for lube. These are the ones I keep an eye out for.

Glycerin: A very common ingredient, especially in water-based lubes. It helps sweeten it, which makes it nicer to taste, but it also increases the risk of yeast infection. Not a concern unless you’re using it vaginally.

Parabens: Parabens are preservatives that are possible carcinogens and might also be endocrine disruptors.

Petroleum-based ingredients: These mess with your pH levels and carry a higher risk of bacterial infection. They can also cause irritation.

Where Should You Start?

If you’re buying lube for the first time, unflavored water-based lube is good for just about everything. But it’s not the best for everything, so there’s no reason to stop there.

I fucking love lube. Right now, I’ve got four different kinds in my bedroom, but I want a lot more. My current goal is to fill a drawer with every type and brand I can get my hands on.

Trying different sex positions, sex toys, and weird techniques is hit or miss. But lube isn’t. As long as you’re using the right kind of lube for the right activity, it’s going to make things better.

So, by all means, make a water-based lube your first. Just make sure it’s not your last. Keep experimenting, trying different types and brands, and having fun. Because the only downside to lube is not having enough.

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