Everything is Impermanent, Even the Really Bad Stuff

If you need a sign, here it is.

This week has not been one of the better ones yet. Not at all. In fact, the past month hasn’t been ideal.

Not just for me, either. But for most everyone or absolutely everyone I know.

Honestly, quarantine hasn’t been so bad in my world. I already worked from home when the pandemic swept through. I’ve continued my usual routine of waking up early, hopping on the computer to teach English lessons online to a handful of kids in China, write some stuff, walk my dog, eat, sleep, repeat. I, very fortunately, haven’t had a close one be faced with the virus. I am ever so grateful for this.

Of course, time away from family and friends hasn’t been so favorable.

Then, America’s wake up call occurred. The one that shouted at us, “Hey, this country is so insanely racist. Get it together. Seriously.” Writing has become such a welcomed outlet in my life, especially since this much needed wake up call. I support the protests and I strongly believe in the reality of racism.

These revelations, that I wish had of occurred many years ago, really shook my world. Most of ours, thankfully.

What shook my world, even more, is that some of my family I love so dearly doesn’t feel my pain. They don’t see the problem that exists so clearly in our country. The past couple of weeks has been an uphill battle when it comes to discussing racism with family. But, who am I to complain? Racism has been an uphill battle for black people forever.

I was so looking forward to escaping my quarantine to visit loved ones for a few days. I thought it would be such a breath of fresh air to cautiously make a trip down to the ocean, my favorite place in the world, and catch up with my family.

NOPE. The denial of racism in my very own family shook me to my core.

Here’s the thing I’m realizing clearer than ever at this moment. Life is not fair. It is not fair that I can present fact after fact after fact and still be told I am wrong. It is not fair that black people are treated horribly (massive understatement) due to white supremacy, yet people (white people) I’ve known and loved my entire life discredit it.

But, here’s what I’ve been telling myself for about a year now after a lovely life-changing experience across the world. Nothing is permanent. I repeat: nothing is permanent.

Ignorant minds will very likely never change. We can hope for the best, but let’s be real. However, ignorant minds will learn more facts. Even if ignorant people choose to ignore them.

However, the sickness I feel in my gut due to ignorance so close to my heart will ease. I will continue to do what’s right. I will do what’s right more and more every day. I will continue to educate myself. I will work towards being a positive change in the world. And, these actions will ease my sickness.

Actions that are in my control, the ones that I will make in order to do what I know to be right, will bring me out of this unsafe place I currently feel drowned in.

So, maybe saying everything is impermanent is wrong. I don’t know. Maybe there are some quite horrible things that will never change. But, the tough stuff that I face will not be permanent. I will not allow it to be. I will work towards making the issues in my life better. I hope you will, too.

That’s the thing. We can only control ourselves. We can do what we know to be right. We should do what we know to be right. And, in that, we are bettering our lives. We are making sure to not allow our very own shaken world to stay so shaken. Bad times will come. They will go. New ones will come. They will go. This is the cycle of life. At least it is for the life I know. But, do good in the world. Do something good today and your day is already better than the moment before.

May I live like a lotus at ease in the muddy waters.