avatarRui Alves

Summarize

Facebook Ruined My Christmas Eve

Social media is a humbug: How the Grinch stole Christmas from right under my nose

Photo by Andreas Avgousti on Unsplash

Hereafter, dear reader, you will find the actual account of events and how Facebook unintentionally once turned Christmas into a humbug.

During Christmas 2020, the Portuguese government, following instructions from our National Directorate of Health, enforced a quarantine. Here alone, ten million people were locked inside their homes.

Traveling across counties was forbidden, and those found crossing would face heavy fines. All we could do was stay at home, host a Zoom Christmas Eve, and get together on social media.

Hence, considering the Christmas spirit should be about caring and protecting others, and first of all, our senior loved ones, I stayed home writing and sharing thoughts and season greetings during Christmas Eve.

I believed social media could save Christmas and that virtual friendship would prevail against the COVID-19 pandemic crisis.

I was wrong, Facebook ruined Christmas!

How the Grinch stole Christmas

Everything was going fine until it was about time to sit down and have my lonesome Christmas Eve dinner. I published a story I had been working on and shared it with my friends via social media.

My point about this story was to celebrate friendship and show the world how you could keep the Christmas spirit alive even when confined to the four walls of your home. As we know, “home is where the heart is.” Thus, being far, far away was the ultimate gesture of love to the ones I love.

‘Be it ever so heinous; there’s no place like home.’¹

I wrote my story as a virtual Christmas postcard to my friends, and the plan was to send it out to that guild of extraordinary people worldwide.

I have been an ex-pat for a significant part of my adult life. Hence, I have friends scattered worldwide with whom I keep in touch, mainly via Facebook groups.

‘Maybe Christmas (he thought) doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.’¹

Back then, Facebook groups were my platform of choice for keeping in touch with everyone. So I was happily sending out my Christmas postcard story with a Merry Christmas message to my friends and sharing it on my preferred ex-pat groups when suddenly.

The Grinch stole Christmas!

The poisoned gift

Out of nowhere, I get a poisoned gift from the Grinch wrapped in a blunt notification:

Screenshot by the author

You have been restricted from accessing some Facebook features.

In layman’s terms, this meant that my plan for publishing Christmas postcards went down the drain.

The Grinch algorithm red-flagged my account and sent me off to bed early after sitting at a lonely table looking at my cellphone camera while projecting the screen on my TV.

No Christmas gifts for you, little Rui; you’ve been a bad boy! Said the Grinch.

The rules I (didn’t) break

Before going to bed, little stubborn Rui went back to his mischief and studied all about the rules supporting the Grinch masterplan to hijack Christmas:

“You’re blocked from doing something on Facebook, like posting, sharing, or commenting. We may block people from doing something on Facebook when:

  • Something you posted or shared seems suspicious or abusive to our security systems. (Hmmm, a Christmas story shouldn’t compromise the Grinch’s state-of-the-art security systems.)
  • Messages or friend requests you sent were marked unwelcome. (Well, if a friend marked my season greetings as “unwelcome,” then good riddance!)
  • You’ve done something that doesn’t follow our community standards. (Maybe the Grinch got me here.) Wishing “Merry Christmas” is quite unstandardized.)
  • The length of a block depends on the severity of the violation and your history on Facebook. (I checked the registry, and my record was spotless. Maybe I wasn’t such a bad boy that year after all.)
Screenshot by the author

A whole week doesn’t seem too bad; it’s only from Christmas to New Year’s Eve. It’s not like this is the best week of the year. And a time to get in touch with family and friends.

“To avoid blocks like this in the future, you can:”

  • Review our Community Standards to understand what kind of sharing is allowed on Facebook. (Checked!)
  • Only message people you already know. I seldom use the Grinch messenger at all. (Checked!)
  • Only send friend requests to people you know. I rarely send friend requests and never to strangers! Is that even a thing? (Checked!)

“We understand that you may have had good intentions or may have not known about our policies on acceptable behavior, and we also understand that this block can be frustrating.”

Dear Grinch, I know how the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Thus, I will not rant about not learning about your policies or acceptable behavior.

Thanks for understanding; you meant well. I know how “hell is full of good meanings, but heaven is full of good works.”

“To help keep Facebook open and welcoming, we try to prevent people from unintentionally misusing Facebook, even if you felt that what you did was acceptable.”

I can’t feel what’s acceptable or not; that’s out of my reach for now because you have made it clear that wishing Merry Christmas and bringing joy to the world is unacceptable.

Thanks for keeping your haven open and welcoming, but please don’t ask me to sit on your lap and stay put.

The appeal

Having gone through the Grinch’s policies and learned nothing about the problem or how to fix it, I filed an appeal.

Well, I knew this wouldn’t get me anywhere, but I tried. Even if the Grinch grants the right to an appeal, it also states that he cannot remove a penalty early, so what’s the point?

— The Grinch locks you up and throws away the key, but by all means, be my guest and appeal!

My thoughts go to all my friends. Please follow the guidelines and don’t misbehave, or the Grinch will come and steal Christmas from you.

So, dear friends, if by any chance you don’t see me publishing anything until New Year’s Eve, I am alive and well, but the Grinch algorithm probably locked me up once again, and its minions have misplaced the key. Fear not, as they will miraculously find it before the new year.

Merry Christmas, dear Grinch

Dear Grinch, I say to you, thanks for stealing my postcards and ruining Christmas back then. Don’t worry; you’ll have the chance to do it again in a few hours because sticks and stones will break my bones, but words can never break me.

Words are my witchcraft, and I will fight your censorship with their magic power, and before the year ends, you will hear from me again, so help me, God!

— Right now I could use a little social interaction.¹

  1. Quotes from the 2000 live-action film How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
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