PHOTOGRAPHY

Everything And Nothing Is Perfect In Nature

Sharing the feelings my personal nature pictures call up in me

I remember the day above, standing on the beach at Kijkduin and watching the waves roll into the beach. Not big ones, but standing there, seeing them build, then crash, then build and crash again, settled a strange calm over me. I snapped many pictures of the waves that day, trying to capture the feeling of calm in them.

Isn’t it amazing how a picture can take us back to where we were and how we felt? Music also does that, and scents, or words. All of those don’t always take us back to pleasant times, but today I want to concentrate on the positive. I look at the picture above, and once again I feel the calm. I close my eyes, see myself on the beach, sitting with my arms around my legs, and watching as wave after wave touches the shore.

My daughter and I frequently go out together on photography trips, although with the construction taking place in their home this year, it’s been months since the last time we’ve been. I took the two pictures above on that last trip, and when I see them, it takes me back to a feeling of immense love for my firstborn.

We had so much fun that day. First, because she clicked the first ‘Panbos’ on her navigation and it brought us to Panbos Street in a suburb of Utrecht, and secondly because we walked in circles in the actual Panbos before finally finding what we went for — the trees you see in the left photo. The wind has eaten away the earth under them, exposing their roots.

I took the photo on the right because there is something about a path disappearing between the trees that makes me want to explore and see where it leads.

My daughter is forever teasing me about my habit of snapping pictures of benches when we are out on our photography tips. That day, in the Mastbos, she was in a silly mood and pointed out every bench she saw.

What is it about benches that interest me so much?

I look at the picture above, and I feel what I always do when seeing an empty bench. I feel the urge to sit down and be. Just be. Let the world slip off my shoulders, let all my worries dissipate, and just… be.

I never feel this urge when I see a bench in the city or any place where there are many people. No, only when the bench is in nature, it’s like the bench urges me to take a moment of rest… to escape from the world, if only for a little while.

My daughter and I have been to Kijkduin several times in the past five years, after my mom’s passing. We have a strong connection with the place because when we immigrated to the Netherlands, mom took us to Kijkduin to eat ‘poffertjes’, and whenever someone visited from South Africa, we also took them there. I’ve also mentioned these delicious sweet treats in my story about a friend who died of AIDS.

Another reason Kijkduin is a place where we ‘feel’ my mom, is because she lived there for several years before she moved to live closer to me. When my daughter and I go there, we call up memories of mom. Sometimes we cry, sometimes we laugh so hard we almost pee our pants! Sometimes we walk the paths as in the picture on the left, and other times we walk down to the beach, as in the header image. Whatever we do, we always feel close to mom, and seeing pictures taken in Kijkduin always makes me think of her.

The picture on the right shows some of the sand in the Maasvlakte. The North Sea was on the other side of this dune. It was a windy day, and the ripples the wind left in the sand caught my attention.

I never go to the Maasvlakte by myself. My husband is always with me, as this is one of his favorite places to go. On that windy November day in 2020, life was smiling at us, despite Covid. After years of problems, his leg finally healed, and he could walk longer distances. It was months before fate turned our life upside down.

Looking at this image, I remember driving from spot to spot. Both of us got out with our cameras, and snapped pictures — me of nature, him of the industry. We always drive out to the furthest point, where we eat french fries and a snack, watch boats entering the Port of Rotterdam from the North Sea, and listen to the whirr-whirr-whirr of giant windmills.

Any photos of the Maasvlakte will always remind me of happy times with my husband.

Nature is beautiful… a place to find rest… a place to refuel… a place to get in touch with yourself, to be quiet, to feel, to be.

I want to point your attention to two articles. One from one of my favorite people on Medium, Yana Bostongirl, and the other by Elder Taoist, because the header image and title drew me in.

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