Everyone has probably said this lie before.

For most of you, even that lie was another lie.

“That’s just the way I am”

The brutal lie we tell ourselves more often than we think, especially when we enter defensive mode.

But in context, it is in fact not a lie. At least not every time.

For example, I don’t have to explain myself to anyone who clearly sees that I have brown eyes. Because that’s just the way I am and I need to own it.

But what about the intangible parts of ourselves?

Can we say the same for our temper, our character, our habits? Is it okay to say, “it’s just the way I am” when you lash out on everyone who tries to calm you when you are angered?

Ironically, you would be lying if you ever made that statement.

Strange, right?

Running those words through what I’d like to call a truth decoder would produce an output that says “That’s how I want to be”

And there you have it, the truth. Perhaps you may not have realized but a lot of people especially in this era of Gen Zs find it very difficult to embrace correction, or to be critiqued for their own betterment.

What is supposed to make us better in the long run is seen as a threat to our egos. If we don’t like it, we call it destructive feedback when in fact the only thing that is destructive in that moment is our arrogance and unwillingness to learn or be submissive for a minute.

Trying to wrap my head around this often leads me to an important question:

“How did we get here?”

Of course, I am unable to answer this question.

Nonetheless, there is good news.

And the good news is that there is hope. We can unlearn, learn, and relearn.

We can turn our lives around for good. We can do better by just being intentional about it. We can be more understanding, more welcoming, more loving and more conscious of it all as we do it.

It might take some time, or a lot of time but I am here to let you know that it is still achievable.