Every State Should Offer A Survival Course

Newcomers beware

The snow finally hit New York. My parents and my in-laws have been talking about it for a week. Tuesday, my parents even call me to tell me they saw in the news people stuck in their cars for 15 hours, down in Washington. I know, it’s Washington. Still.

A couple of days ago, way too early, I salted the driveway for the first time. I was panicking the entire time, torn up between “it’s not enough salt, it won’t work” and “it’s too much, I’m wasting the only salt we have.”

A disaster.

Also, the snow came two days later, so pretty useless.

But here we are. Today. It was pretty this morning. The immaculate snow. Untouched by my dog. Then, the wind started to blow. The beautiful show of nature turned into chunks of snow falling and ice forming.

I found in the garage an old bag of “ice melt”. Pet friendly. I’m not sure I believe it, considering it can melt concrete, but it’s my only option.

I’m happy to report no one saw my crazy self going at it, using a tin can to pick up the small white beads of death. My inner voice told me to use gloves, and to keep those gloves away from my face. The longer I was out, the runnier (runner? — yes, it’s a real question) my nose got. I needed to tend to it.

I scratched my nose. I inhaled the melt. Help.

If I don’t publish next week, know that the ice melt vanquished me. Pet friendly, not Alex friendly.

As I was shoveling the snow — and the ice — I started to realize it was irresponsible of my in-laws to leave me here alone. Come on, I come from Paris. One inch and we’re all panicking. Seriously.

So, I’ve been thinking. Each State should offer a crash course to newcomers on how to survive. Here, we have snow, wind, and flood. Give me a pamphlet on when to panic!

I suppose Florida could teach how to protect from hurricanes, so would many South states. Reflexes to adopt in case of fires on the west coast. Don’t poke the bear in Alaska, and let the moose go first in Maine.

See: simple, efficient, and it can save lives.

You can also evaluate your State and see if they’ll use biodegradable paper or how will people react. If your neighbors create signs saying “I don’t believe in prevention”, “I don’t need a guide, I have a gun” and other inspired ideas, you know it’s time to move.

I’d like to give a shoutout to Sharing Words for their wise words on life and the kindness I felt through their words.

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