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Abstract

remember as many things as possible. We just need to remember what matters most.We can write pages and pages of things we have learned or lines that struck us, but at the end of the day, we can’t possibly absorb them all.The goal is to organize your thoughts and ensure you walk away from the experience with what you absolutely cannot afford to not learn.Reflection isn’t as powerful if we leave the thoughts as thoughts. And besides, writing is free for all. You can write these top lessons anytime, anywhere. Publish them on Medium. Write them in your personal journal. Type them in your phone’s notes. Jot them down on a restaurant napkin or the back of a receipt. Make a long-ass essay-caption on Instagram or Facebook (Don’t forget to warn your followers that it’s TLDR!). Carve them on a tree. Vandalize them on a wall.Kidding aside, Hemingway best states the importance of taking the time to encapsulate the lessons from our experiences:“Acquiring rich experiences, then retreating to cogitate and write about them. I needed words to go forward.”<h1 id="1d0f">Make a playlist.</h1>It’s fair to say that taking photos is the most straightforward way to capture memories. You see the setting, some objects, faces, and you get a pretty good idea of its context.Although pictures help you remember in snapshots, songs stir up feelings more strongly and help you recall the nuances of an experience.I first tried this playlist ritual after spending a summer in Paris to study. On my flight back to Manila, I pulled together a list of songs that I remembered hearing from the trip — The set I listened to on my daily commute to school. The song that was playing in that hidden gem of a boutique in Le Marais. The indie artist my Mexican friend made me listen to over lunch. The remix I discovered in the club on my first night out. The Spanish track my roommate listened to that I found catchy even if I had no idea what it said.I also added a few songs that sounded like the trip — music that sounded like the excitement of a first solo adventure. Like a quiet stroll along Île de la Cité. Like a spot overlooking the calm waters of the Seine. Like a picnic by the Eiffel tower under the summer sun. Like a farewell on my last wine-drunk night with my amazing new friends.There’s a reason why movies are awarded and remembered for their soundtracks. Music is the best trove of memories — the highs and lows, the firsts and lasts, the hellos and goodbyes, the jarring, and the subtle.Making a playlist is a simple yet powerful way to preserve memories. It has taught me that looking back is less about capturing moments than appreciating the moments that captured us. And sometimes, these meaningful moments can only be discovered and appreciated in hindsight. You’d be surprised by what things strike a chord when you put it together.So if your laptop crashes or your cloud storage shuts down, and you find years of wonderful photos suddenly down the drain, know that it’s impossible for you to really “lose memories”

Options

. As Aretha Franklin says, all it takes is music:“It’s transporting, for sure. It can take you right back, years back, to the very moment certain things happened in your life. It’s uplifting, it’s encouraging, it’s strengthening.”<h1 id="7cc2">Express gratitude.</h1>I’m not talking about that Instagram appreciation post where you rehash all your best group photos and attach a TLDR-nostalgic-yet-seemingly-generic-thank-you caption.I’m talking about pinpointing the people who really mattered in that time of your life — those who either went out of your way to be there for you or those who brought out the best in you. To be more specific, think about that person who:<ul><li>dropped whatever he was doing to listen to you</li><li>sensed there was something wrong and bothered to ask how you were doing</li><li>covered for you or helped you get out of a tough situation</li><li>told you what you needed to hear, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear</li><li>gave it to you straight right before you were about to do something stupid</li><li>didn’t judge you, had your back, and still gave it to you straight when you did end up doing something stupid</li><li>made you look at things differently</li><li>reminded you to be more kind to yourself</li><li>sincerely wanted you to succeed and told you</li><li>gave you the benefit of the doubt when no one else would</li><li>inspired you by simply being himself</li></ul>Once you’ve identified these key people, it’s time for you to go out of your way to show your gratitude. Write a short thank-you note. Bake some chocolate cookies. Treat him to coffee. Or to a round of beer.Positive psychology has shown time and again how extremely gratifying it is to display thankfulness and appreciation. But saying thank you — up close and personal — , most especially in this context, isn’t supposed to just be about making yourself feel good.When you move from one stage of life to another, you lose the proximity that you once had with people. The overlap between your contexts becomes smaller by being in different environments. That’s the hard truth. And even in a hyper-connected world, it’s going to take some effort to maintain the same level of closeness.But here’s the up-side: Gratitude transcends goodbyes.This last step is important because it recognizes two things: That you could not have made it alone, and that the season was even more worthwhile because of the people you shared it with.What was it that Maya Angelou said?People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.In Tony Stark’s words, “Part of the journey is the end”.So take as much as you can from the journey — from start to the end. Encapsulate the lessons through words. Keep the memories alive through music. Give the gift of gratitude to the people who matter one last time.See how the pieces fit together. See how they form who you are today.And then let go.</article></body>

Every Season of Your Life Deserves a Proper Send-off

3 things to do as you close a significant chapter of your life.

There are years that ask questions and years that answer. — Zora Neale Hurston

Life is nothing but a string of seasons. Each season is unique, and I’d like to believe it is more often than not equal parts good and bad, even if it doesn’t immediately seem like that.

When it doesn’t feel that way, it’s usually because we tend to amplify the negative parts. We’re human in that way.

But this is exactly why we need to take the time to honor the season before we leave it behind. If we don’t, we risk failing to fully understand the vital parts of it: the lessons learned, the memories made, and the people who truly made it worthwhile.

A proper send-off doesn’t necessitate immediate closure. It doesn’t promise you a way out of the I-should-haves, I-could-haves, or the what-ifs. Closure in itself is a process that takes time.

But a proper send-off encourages you to take another look — a closer one. I believe that digging deep, as difficult as it may be, rewards you with a certain kind of faith to say, “This part of my life happened for a reason. And I’m all the better for it.”

If you’re about to graduate, change jobs or careers, live on your own, work in a different country, end a relationship, or leave any kind of significant thing or experience behind, take the time to internalize the lessons, memories, and the people. Then concretize them through writing, music, and an act of gratitude.

Write about it.

If you’ve ever listened to an episode of The School of Greatness podcast by Lewis Howes, you’d be familiar with this question: “If you had to leave the Earth and take with you everything you’ve ever had or done, and you could only leave behind three things or lessons, what would they be?”

I love this exercise because it forces the guest, who has an arsenal of experiences and life lessons, to narrow in on what they think will make a difference in people’s lives. It’s a tough question, which is why it’s such an effective way to dissect a chapter of your life.

We learn a lot every day. But we have to understand two realities. First is that not all lessons are created equal. Second is that our brain is limited.

As an avid note-taker, I used to prize being able to jot down as many discussion points and quotable quotes as possible. Don’t get me wrong. Note-taking is a great, practical habit. But what I’ve grown to understand is we don’t need to remember as many things as possible. We just need to remember what matters most.

We can write pages and pages of things we have learned or lines that struck us, but at the end of the day, we can’t possibly absorb them all.

The goal is to organize your thoughts and ensure you walk away from the experience with what you absolutely cannot afford to not learn.

Reflection isn’t as powerful if we leave the thoughts as thoughts. And besides, writing is free for all. You can write these top lessons anytime, anywhere. Publish them on Medium. Write them in your personal journal. Type them in your phone’s notes. Jot them down on a restaurant napkin or the back of a receipt. Make a long-ass essay-caption on Instagram or Facebook (Don’t forget to warn your followers that it’s TLDR!). Carve them on a tree. Vandalize them on a wall.

Kidding aside, Hemingway best states the importance of taking the time to encapsulate the lessons from our experiences:

“Acquiring rich experiences, then retreating to cogitate and write about them. I needed words to go forward.”

Make a playlist.

It’s fair to say that taking photos is the most straightforward way to capture memories. You see the setting, some objects, faces, and you get a pretty good idea of its context.

Although pictures help you remember in snapshots, songs stir up feelings more strongly and help you recall the nuances of an experience.

I first tried this playlist ritual after spending a summer in Paris to study. On my flight back to Manila, I pulled together a list of songs that I remembered hearing from the trip — The set I listened to on my daily commute to school. The song that was playing in that hidden gem of a boutique in Le Marais. The indie artist my Mexican friend made me listen to over lunch. The remix I discovered in the club on my first night out. The Spanish track my roommate listened to that I found catchy even if I had no idea what it said.

I also added a few songs that sounded like the trip — music that sounded like the excitement of a first solo adventure. Like a quiet stroll along Île de la Cité. Like a spot overlooking the calm waters of the Seine. Like a picnic by the Eiffel tower under the summer sun. Like a farewell on my last wine-drunk night with my amazing new friends.

There’s a reason why movies are awarded and remembered for their soundtracks. Music is the best trove of memories — the highs and lows, the firsts and lasts, the hellos and goodbyes, the jarring, and the subtle.

Making a playlist is a simple yet powerful way to preserve memories. It has taught me that looking back is less about capturing moments than appreciating the moments that captured us. And sometimes, these meaningful moments can only be discovered and appreciated in hindsight. You’d be surprised by what things strike a chord when you put it together.

So if your laptop crashes or your cloud storage shuts down, and you find years of wonderful photos suddenly down the drain, know that it’s impossible for you to really “lose memories”. As Aretha Franklin says, all it takes is music:

“It’s transporting, for sure. It can take you right back, years back, to the very moment certain things happened in your life. It’s uplifting, it’s encouraging, it’s strengthening.”

Express gratitude.

I’m not talking about that Instagram appreciation post where you rehash all your best group photos and attach a TLDR-nostalgic-yet-seemingly-generic-thank-you caption.

I’m talking about pinpointing the people who really mattered in that time of your life — those who either went out of your way to be there for you or those who brought out the best in you. To be more specific, think about that person who:

dropped whatever he was doing to listen to you
sensed there was something wrong and bothered to ask how you were doing
covered for you or helped you get out of a tough situation
told you what you needed to hear, even if it’s not what you wanted to hear
gave it to you straight right before you were about to do something stupid
didn’t judge you, had your back, and still gave it to you straight when you did end up doing something stupid
made you look at things differently
reminded you to be more kind to yourself
sincerely wanted you to succeed and told you
gave you the benefit of the doubt when no one else would
inspired you by simply being himself

Once you’ve identified these key people, it’s time for you to go out of your way to show your gratitude. Write a short thank-you note. Bake some chocolate cookies. Treat him to coffee. Or to a round of beer.

Positive psychology has shown time and again how extremely gratifying it is to display thankfulness and appreciation. But saying thank you — up close and personal — , most especially in this context, isn’t supposed to just be about making yourself feel good.

When you move from one stage of life to another, you lose the proximity that you once had with people. The overlap between your contexts becomes smaller by being in different environments. That’s the hard truth. And even in a hyper-connected world, it’s going to take some effort to maintain the same level of closeness.

But here’s the up-side: Gratitude transcends goodbyes.

This last step is important because it recognizes two things: That you could not have made it alone, and that the season was even more worthwhile because of the people you shared it with.

What was it that Maya Angelou said?

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

In Tony Stark’s words, “Part of the journey is the end”.

So take as much as you can from the journey — from start to the end. Encapsulate the lessons through words. Keep the memories alive through music. Give the gift of gratitude to the people who matter one last time.

See how the pieces fit together. See how they form who you are today.

And then let go.