Every Life Situation Teaches Us a Lesson, Are We Keen to Learn?

This is what I am learning from my inability to help my friend.

A friend is a person whom you can lean upon in times of distress. You don’t think twice before calling or asking for help, with whom you can lay bare your heart in every grief and be your crazy self openly.

Fauzan is my close friend for over 10 years. We both are dentists.

We accidentally met during the exam of service forces. Two strangers were meeting in a place for job searching.

It was an epic day where my failures and unemployment glared at me. 5 years of the dental study felt like a betrayal. Going for already fixed interviews had drained me. But I never left a stone upturned whenever the opportunity arose.

Reaching the venue overwhelmed me. I was lost in the bubbling crowd of strangers. From a distance, I heard Fauzan’s calming voice. His soothing voice attracted me like a flower that attracts the honeybee. We instantly gelled well. I think the heart immediately knows who can be our genuine well-wishers.

At lunch, the officers announced the result. They approved everyone except one. That was me. The result drained me mentally. With my head bent in despair, I sat on a bench. Fauzan was there to give me company.

We decided to have lunch in their canteen before proceeding to our homes. During the conversation, I got to know we had many common friends. We both were preparing for post-graduate entrance exams. He guided me on other options and helped me fill some forms too.

We shared the evening. Time was slipping by fast. It seemed our conversation had just started. He shared his struggles and profound insights into his life. There was a strange sense of belonging and comfort in each other’s company.

We were close to my home. I asked him to accompany me. I made some sandwiches and also shared my poems. We went for a walk before bidding farewell.

It was a day full of surprises. My heart expanded and was at peace. Despite being rejected, I was happy to meet a genuine human.

It's been over 10 years, and we have been each other support during our tough times. We have shared our heartaches, struggles, and best times. I have learned a lot from him. His patience, genuine care for others, and hard work are exemplary.

I have watched his growth from a college pass-out guy to a responsible professional. With soft-spoken words and impartial suggestions, he treats every patient like his family member. Everybody loves him. His comforting voice and care put every patient in a relaxed mode, even those afraid of dentists.

Last month, his entire family got COVID positive. Only he was the one who was taking care of his aged parents and grandmother. The health of his diabetic father deteriorated quickly where his oxygen dipped to 70 (Normal oxygen range is above 95).

Fauzan was running for the oxygen cylinder from pillar to post. It exhausted him. Suffering from COVID himself, he was procuring medicines after telephonic consultations and arranging oxygen cylinders and concentrators. I last talked to him when I couriered him some medication, as they were unavailable in Delhi.

Apart from fever, he was going strong. I thought everybody would recover, but his father’s declining health situation worried me.

You develop deep intuitions and connections with your close ones. During my lifetime, I had many intuitions, but I never experienced what I witnessed.

After a few days of our talk, out of the blue, I felt profound anxiety and breathlessness for the first time in my life. My heart felt very heavy and was sinking. I could not breathe properly or stand. It felt as if I had lost all my power. It lasted for quite a few minutes. I have never experienced such a dense feeling of breathlessness and heaviness.

I felt as if COVID gripped me too. I immediately checked my oxygen with a pulse oximeter. It was in a healthy range. I checked my temperature that came normal.

The next thought that came over was of Fauzan’s father. I immediately called him. He didn’t pick up my phone. I suspected his father’s condition has worsened. It got me worried. I messaged him.

After a few hours, he replied his condition has aggravated. He can not breathe and needs external oxygen support.

This was the first time I developed the physical symptoms of the other. Energetically connecting with your close ones is universal. But the message I received was strong that Fauzan was not doing well.

In a race of refilling and searching for oxygen for his father, he direly needed oxygen. CT scan of his lungs revealed 88% lung damage.

I, with my other friends, frantically searched for more cylinders. But for two days, we could not arrange for either refilling or purchase a new cylinder. We could feel the cold brunt of the shortage. We were fighting against time and scarcity of resources. Fauzan’s last cylinder was on the verge of exhaustion.

Thankfully, before the last cylinder depleted, we got a bed for him. Doctors admitted him to a hospital.

For the last 21 days, he is in ICU.

6 days back, doctors moved him from a high-flow oxygen mask to a Bipap machine (non-invasive ventilator).

With no exact information about his wellbeing, my heart feels heavy. Nobody can visit him. Unsure about his improvement, all I can do is pray.

As a Reiki healer, I do distance healing every day and night. When a closed person is involved, it is difficult to be impartial. My heart feels very heavy, and my eyes fill with tears. I feel more helpless, watching my old friend battling for his life in an isolated ICU.

Heartfelt prayers have miraculous effects and can turn the tables around. I have formed a prayer circle for Fauzan’s faster healing. I hope to pull his leg soon.

But sometimes fear and sadness descend.

Being in human form, I can not reject the heavy feelings I feel during these times. I can not suppress my feeling of helplessness with some wisdom. It would be unfair to those feelings.

I cry. I feel helpless. I feel pain in my heart. I feel scared. I feel his fragility and powerlessness. I feel the stress and tension of his family and his newlywed wife. In all my helplessness, I surrender.

In helplessness, surrender and acceptance happen.

I don’t know what will happen next. I lay all my expectations and hopes in God’s hand. With all my heart, I pray for my friend’s faster recovery. Rest is in his hands.

Since COVID has started, I give Reiki to everyone who asks for it. But I can’t decide their fate. All I can do is pray. Sometimes I feel the other is accepting. Other times I feel the dip in their energies.

Last night, my spiritual heart experienced sharp pain. I could not make out why I felt heavy, tired, and sick. Since my spiritual awakening, it is an ordinary happening. So I didn’t give it much attention.

Today I came to know about my school friend’s father's demise. I was giving Reiki healing to him, too. With many co-morbidities, his body could not survive COVID. During his distant healing sessions, sometimes, I could feel his energies were weakening and his declining situation.

Against the hope, you still hope. But he passed over. I am sad for my friend.

I am a Reiki grandmaster, but I am not the one who can heal anybody. I am just a medium through which the universe’s energy flows. Like a conduit, I can channel it. But I can not decide who will heal or not. I can force nobody to accept the healing. I can not overpower life’s wishes. If anybody has to recover, they will heal miraculously. If not, they will pass on peacefully.

Surrender is the main essence of any healing.

I solely focus on healing with no expectations. I surrender after a healing session, knowing well it is not in my hands. I can pray and let God do whatever he wants to, howsoever he wants.

Life is an unexpected play. We may never know what comes next. A turbulent ride or a peaceful day, everything is unpredictable. Only through acceptance can we live in surrender. Do what is required and leave the rest in God’s hand.

I remember a famous shalok in Bhagwat Geeta, Holy Hindu scripture,

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन। मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥ २-४७

‘Karmanye vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana, Ma Karmaphalaheturbhurma Te Sangostvakarmani’

Meaning: You have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction.

My prayer: O Lord, I pray and let Reiki flow. You know what is best for us. We have limited eyesight to see, understand, or analyze anything. I surrender and let life takes its course. I surrender and accept whatever you deem fit.

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