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Abstract

l Society, and the Gazette were the only traces left. And Margaret became one of the rare devoted souls keeping these cultural treasures alive, because she cared! She loved those institutions, their members and readers, and they loved her back!<h2 id="fe82">2. Become a mentor</h2>Assuming the editorship of the Gazette without any relevant previous experience meant a steep learning curve for me. Margaret became my perfect mentor, patiently initiating me into the ins and outs of the existing publication process, as well as enthusiastically supporting every initiative I took to modernize it. Meanwhile she was also engaged in training a new generation of volunteers both at the paper and at the Genealogy Society, whose office was across the hall.<h2 id="6cb1">3. Be a friend</h2>In all the years I’ve known Margaret, I never heard her say anything bad about anybody. And the reverse is also true: nobody ever badmouths Margaret. From her I first heard the expression, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” Without pushiness, and seemingly without effort, Margaret treats everyone like a potential friend. She is genuinely interested in others. It’s impossible not to like her.Although I left the Gazette in 2012, and it finally folded in 2018, Margaret and I have remained close. I can talk to her about anything and everything. The fact that she is 34 years my senior was and is totally irrelevant. It’s always a joy to meet her or even to just chat on the phone with her.<h2 id="741d">4. Find someone (or several people) to love</h2>Widowed at a fairly young age, Margaret never had children. Her only brother died before her, too, and she treasures his offspring as her own. It’s important to have love in your life at any age. She has lost many near and dear ones, some much younger than herself, yet she is always ready to embrace a new arrival in the family. She also keeps in touch with cousins in Belgium.When their beloved Aunt Margaret turned 99 on May 9, her nieces and nephews threw her a family-only barbecue (observing proper physical distance, of course) in her backyard, and her Belgian-American friends and fans treated her to a drive-by “honk party.”Our birthday lunch together is still on hold. We don’t know when we’ll get to it. But next year, we’ll do something extra special, for her 100th! Despite a few recent health scares, both of us are confident that’s going to happen!<h2 id="c82a">5. Always keep busy</h2>Over the last few years, age has taken a toll on Margaret’s eyesight. But nothing (short of a pandemic) can keep her from her “job” at the GSFA. At one point she had to give up driving. No problem: Cheryl, the librarian, lives close enough to give her a ride. It’s the thing she misses most

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, now that she is temporarily stuck at home: preparing the GSFA newsletter, helping Flemish descendants find their roots or trace long-lost relatives in Belgium, spending time with fellow volunteers of all ages. It goes without saying that Margaret appreciates all the modern gadgetry that make it possible for her to still read yellowed documents, as well as her computer screen. By the way, she’s never been technology shy. She remembers the first computer arriving at Parke-Davis. “It took up a whole room,” she chuckles.<h2 id="0a33">6. Look on the bright side</h2>With Margaret living all alone in her house, I was concerned how the lockdown would affect her. “Not to worry,” she told me. “My cleaning lady stopped coming, so I do it myself now, a little at a time and very slowly, as I can’t risk a fall. It keeps me active and limber.” This, too, is typical Margaret: she finds a silver lining to every cloud. In fact, I can’t remember her complaining about anything, ever. A niece orders her groceries for her and she cooks her own meals. She passes the rest of her time listening to recorded books, and enjoys observing the trees and flowers spring into leaf and bloom in her garden.<figure id="9bac"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*nIfcRSPVBYCBtfXiFMs3zA.jpeg"><figcaption>Impromptu celebration of Margaret’s 98th birthday at our hairdresser’s last year. (photo by author)</figcaption></figure><h2 id="1059">7. Consider every day a gift!</h2>Margaret and I share the same hairdresser. Like me, Ivan Callebaut is an immigrant from Belgium. Last week, when the beauty parlors were once again allowed to open (only one client at a time), I found out when Margaret had her first appointment in months, and tentatively planned to go there and surprise her afterwards. In the end, however, I couldn’t make it. I called the salon and Ivan handed her the phone. We chatted, Margaret sounding as chipper as ever. After spending 10 weeks cooped up at home, all by herself? I couldn’t get over it. “Margaret, how come you sound so happy?” I asked. “Why would I not be happy?” she answered. “Every day is a gift!”<h1 id="c8cc">Every day is a gift</h1>It’s a truth we forget all too easily:Every day is a blank album page that we can write, draw, or paint on to complete the ultimate masterpiece that is our life.Be it short or long, the “album” is ours to fill. Working with the materials and the time given to us, ultimately we are free to choose what we make of it.We have the power to create our own reality.No, I’m not talking about manifesting our material desires, but about the ability to use our inner strength to deal with the challenges that life will inevitably be throwing at us.“Today is a gift” has become the mantra that I start my day with!</article></body>

Every Day Is A Gift!

Happiness lessons from my 99-year-old friend

Margaret and I at the Gazette’s Centenary Celebration in 2014 (copyright by author)

What is her Secret?

When I returned to Michigan from India early last March, the threat of COVID-19 already loomed over the land like a dark cloud. Just days later, a shelter-in-place order was issued in our state. It sounded less harsh than “lockdown” but basically amounted to the same thing.

I phoned my friend Margaret Roets to touch base and express my hope that those measures would be lifted in time for her 99th birthday on May 9, so we would be able to celebrate that momentous occasion together.

Margaret and I first met in April of 2006, and for the next 6, almost 7 years we shared an office and a mission: to ensure that the Gazette van Detroit (a publication started in 1914 by immigrants from the Dutch-speaking Flanders region of Belgium) made it to its centennial issue.

For the last 10 years or so, we’ve done lunch, at a place of her choosing, on or around her birthday. Sometimes she’ll select an upscale “Victorian” tearoom, sometimes one of our old hangouts from the Gazette days, when we spent long hours working side by side, always enjoying each other’s company. It seemed like this year we might have to postpone.

Margaret sounded upbeat as always. “We’ll have to take it as it comes and make the best of it,” she said, and I agreed.

From the start, Margaret has been one of my role models. She is the poster person for aging not just graciously, but actively, and happily!

I would like to share a few of the things I learned from her on how to defy age and flourish well into your nineties.

1. Find a cause close to your heart

After retiring from the accounting department of a pharmaceutical company, Margaret had become a volunteer, first for the Genealogical Society of Flemish Americans (GSFA), then also for the Gazette. When I took over from Martha Vandenbergh, the retiring editor, Margaret had already been running the publication’s financials for many years. The biweekly paper was produced by a handful of volunteers. We had to be flexible. On many things the two of us would work together, very closely.

Margaret was born in 1921 to Flemish immigrants in Detroit. In the early days, the Belgians flocked together in their own neighborhoods with Belgian-owned grocery stores, butcher shops, and cafés. At the onset of the 21st century, though, not much was left of the community, its ethnicity absorbed into the great American melting pot. A few Belgian businesses and social clubs, the Genealogical Society, and the Gazette were the only traces left. And Margaret became one of the rare devoted souls keeping these cultural treasures alive, because she cared! She loved those institutions, their members and readers, and they loved her back!

2. Become a mentor

Assuming the editorship of the Gazette without any relevant previous experience meant a steep learning curve for me. Margaret became my perfect mentor, patiently initiating me into the ins and outs of the existing publication process, as well as enthusiastically supporting every initiative I took to modernize it. Meanwhile she was also engaged in training a new generation of volunteers both at the paper and at the Genealogy Society, whose office was across the hall.

3. Be a friend

In all the years I’ve known Margaret, I never heard her say anything bad about anybody. And the reverse is also true: nobody ever badmouths Margaret. From her I first heard the expression, “If you want a friend, be a friend.” Without pushiness, and seemingly without effort, Margaret treats everyone like a potential friend. She is genuinely interested in others. It’s impossible not to like her.

Although I left the Gazette in 2012, and it finally folded in 2018, Margaret and I have remained close. I can talk to her about anything and everything. The fact that she is 34 years my senior was and is totally irrelevant. It’s always a joy to meet her or even to just chat on the phone with her.

4. Find someone (or several people) to love

Widowed at a fairly young age, Margaret never had children. Her only brother died before her, too, and she treasures his offspring as her own. It’s important to have love in your life at any age. She has lost many near and dear ones, some much younger than herself, yet she is always ready to embrace a new arrival in the family. She also keeps in touch with cousins in Belgium.

When their beloved Aunt Margaret turned 99 on May 9, her nieces and nephews threw her a family-only barbecue (observing proper physical distance, of course) in her backyard, and her Belgian-American friends and fans treated her to a drive-by “honk party.”

Our birthday lunch together is still on hold. We don’t know when we’ll get to it. But next year, we’ll do something extra special, for her 100th! Despite a few recent health scares, both of us are confident that’s going to happen!

5. Always keep busy

Over the last few years, age has taken a toll on Margaret’s eyesight. But nothing (short of a pandemic) can keep her from her “job” at the GSFA. At one point she had to give up driving. No problem: Cheryl, the librarian, lives close enough to give her a ride. It’s the thing she misses most, now that she is temporarily stuck at home: preparing the GSFA newsletter, helping Flemish descendants find their roots or trace long-lost relatives in Belgium, spending time with fellow volunteers of all ages. It goes without saying that Margaret appreciates all the modern gadgetry that make it possible for her to still read yellowed documents, as well as her computer screen. By the way, she’s never been technology shy. She remembers the first computer arriving at Parke-Davis. “It took up a whole room,” she chuckles.

6. Look on the bright side

With Margaret living all alone in her house, I was concerned how the lockdown would affect her. “Not to worry,” she told me. “My cleaning lady stopped coming, so I do it myself now, a little at a time and very slowly, as I can’t risk a fall. It keeps me active and limber.” This, too, is typical Margaret: she finds a silver lining to every cloud. In fact, I can’t remember her complaining about anything, ever. A niece orders her groceries for her and she cooks her own meals. She passes the rest of her time listening to recorded books, and enjoys observing the trees and flowers spring into leaf and bloom in her garden.

Impromptu celebration of Margaret’s 98th birthday at our hairdresser’s last year. (photo by author)

7. Consider every day a gift!

Margaret and I share the same hairdresser. Like me, Ivan Callebaut is an immigrant from Belgium. Last week, when the beauty parlors were once again allowed to open (only one client at a time), I found out when Margaret had her first appointment in months, and tentatively planned to go there and surprise her afterwards. In the end, however, I couldn’t make it. I called the salon and Ivan handed her the phone. We chatted, Margaret sounding as chipper as ever. After spending 10 weeks cooped up at home, all by herself? I couldn’t get over it. “Margaret, how come you sound so happy?” I asked. “Why would I not be happy?” she answered. “Every day is a gift!”

Every day is a gift

It’s a truth we forget all too easily:

Every day is a blank album page that we can write, draw, or paint on to complete the ultimate masterpiece that is our life.

Be it short or long, the “album” is ours to fill. Working with the materials and the time given to us, ultimately we are free to choose what we make of it.

We have the power to create our own reality.

No, I’m not talking about manifesting our material desires, but about the ability to use our inner strength to deal with the challenges that life will inevitably be throwing at us.

“Today is a gift” has become the mantra that I start my day with!